A Clown On Fire
sex
Ablaze
I don’t write much about sex out of respect for my couple. It’s a personal choice. I have avoided writing about sex after kids, sex with toys, sex with myself, and even sex as the colour of my dreams. My sex life is between my wife and me, and the neighbours on the other side … Continue reading
They Will Get You in the End
I say fuck the children. Fuck ‘em. —George Carlin, You Are All Diseased My sister was a tiny weeny little kid when she dressed Wicket, my BFF Ewok figurine, in Cabbage Patch Kids clothes, and lullabied the action figure to sleep with the promises of a dog named Rover. As far as I can remember being violently repelled … Continue reading
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
> Ray’s post. Ray’s post. Ray’s post. Ray’s post. Ray’s post. Ray’s post. Ray’s post. There was this [ridiculous] book published 20 years ago, by a man named John Gray: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus—not that I have an opinion on it. It sold a lot, and became sort of a [ridiculous] pop culture phenomenon—not that I have an opinion on it. Last February aired Mars … Continue reading
Sit Down & Shut Up: Volume II
Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. And love on the newest installment of Sit Down & Shut Up, this week, on Madame Weebles’ blog.
Don’t Get Teste With Me
[This post was inspired by The Bumble Files' Guys, It's Your Turn to Talk.] I wish I could start this post by offering you a great story pertaining to the reasons why I wanted to write about very large peens: I was walking with my daughter when we bumped into a monstrous penis wearing a fedora … Continue reading
A Red-Headed Woman
In high school I thought I was in love with a new girl who moved into my neighborhood. I’d watch through the kitchen window, waiting for her to turn the corner at the end of my street as she headed for school. I’d rush to the front door, wait about 30 seconds, and then casually … Continue reading
Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Won’t Learn About on A Clown on Fire
“The blogosphere has no business in the bedrooms of Le Clown”. – Pierre Elliot Trudeau You might have read this. Or this. And even this. But Le Clown doesn’t write about sex. Le Clown rocks out with his pork sword tucked away. Dick won’t be slappin’ your pretty faces with his bedroom stories. No meatstick … Continue reading
A Metamucil Masterpiece
Duel #3: Jen and Tonic VS Edward Dachshund. Edward Dachshund’s post: Grandma, What Big Teets You Have! UPDATE: Winner of round three: Jen Tonic ****************** In a turn of events nobody saw coming, Le Clown asked me to be the final contender in Le dü-əl between him and Edward Hotspur. I was surprised at the invitation … Continue reading
Thank You For Smoking – Profile of a Fetish
It started with Bugsy, or at least, it is the oldest memory I have of being moved by a woman smoking a cigarette. There was nothing overtly sexual about Annette Bening smoking, but somehow, the image haunted me, for days and weeks to come. A year later came the Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain video, … Continue reading
Fifty Shades Dumber (Fifty Shades Darker: pgs. 451-544)
Reblogged from Speaker7: This is it, gentle reader. The dark shade will be lifted and we can walk into the light together. Or at least go outside and stick a toe on a blade of grass and then run back inside and bathe in the light of the TV. What am I blathering on about? … Continue reading
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