A Clown On Fire
humor
Le Clown Does London
A very special edition of A Canadian Clown in Gunland, in which Becky Says Things refuses to introduce Le Clown to the cast of Coronation Street. Also, there are no guns in London, just long black wooden sticks, and men wearing funny hats holding these long black wooden sticks (in the UK, annual deaths resulting from firearms are … Continue reading
They Will Get You in the End
I say fuck the children. Fuck ‘em. —George Carlin, You Are All Diseased My sister was a tiny weeny little kid when she dressed Wicket, my BFF Ewok figurine, in Cabbage Patch Kids clothes, and lullabied the action figure to sleep with the promises of a dog named Rover. As far as I can remember being violently repelled … Continue reading
USB Port in the Storm
Keen I ain’t about email exchanges, chatting, texting, and the traditional phone conversation. I don’t talk much to the outside world unless it’s through Facebook or WordPress. Or when someone knocks who’s not a bailiff, private investigator, Mormon, or a cloaked figure holding a scythe. It’s not that I am anti-social—I’m the poster child of … Continue reading
Diapers and Brimstone
Our daughter’s real name is Poppy. The critics seem unanimous in their verdict: Poppy as a name sucks choda. “She will be teased as a teenager“. “It’s so… hippyish“. “She’s a heroin addict“. “Why not Apple while you’re at it“? Yet, in my neck of the woods, Rose, Jasmine, Lilly, Daisy, Iris and Violet are all fair game. … Continue reading
The Road So Far
A CLOWN ON FIRE I flipped this shack, and I didn’t have to mortgage my daughter [who recently expressed her desire to cut my eyes...]. I like the new look; it feels… homey. I paced around my neighbourhood, clutching on my laptop, running after passersby, showing them the new template and the new graphics with … Continue reading
Feminist assholes: You’re doing it right
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. —Gloria Steinem Please allow me to be vague. I was trolled. It started with an email: You are insensitive and two-faced. The intensity increased with each new message: Integrity is a quality I would seek if I were you. Until the vitriol stopped … Continue reading
Everything in Its Right Place
A Clown on Fire celebrated its one year anniversary last month. For the event, I did zilch. I did ask bloggers to create fan art, and bloggers did create fan art. And one vlog. I plan to use them soon. Promise. But for now… I have recently introduced the idea of writing the internet. I’m … Continue reading
A Canadian In Gunland: Welcome to the Coolest Flyover State Ever
Ahhhh, Denver, Colorado. The birthplace of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and yours truly, Highest Form of Whit. AKA the city where dick jokes were invented. AKA the Coolest Flyover State Ever. Welcome, welcome. Please, come join me. Leaving the airport with Le Clown, I tried desperately to assure him that Denver is not a psychotic … Continue reading
Le Cajun Clown With Balls on Fire
I’ve been having a ball meeting up with bloggers in their real-life forms lately, and I am soon to be meeting up with them in bulk. But, there was one blogger in particular who I just had to meet one on one. I invited the puppet master of blogland, Le Clown, to come down the … Continue reading
Five Dirty Words
This post was inspired by Ross Murray. This post should have its mouth washed with soap. Fuck. The universal swear. Used in over 6800 languages, you’ll hear it in movies, songs, and out of the mouths of children. You can even read it in the Bible: Fuck is more popular than herpes at a frat … Continue reading
Internet Famous
Badges of honour
A Clown on Fire by www.clownonfire.wordpress.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.
