A Clown On Fire
Christmas
Jesus Christ, You’re Such a Fuckin’ Jew Boy
MY TSURIS A few years back, during a short gig as a web strategist for a non-profit organization, a colleague had something to tell me: “Dude, do you ever look like a Jew“. She emptied her heart, it came out as is. If I recall correctly, it was on a Wednesday morning; it was random. … Continue reading
Bring David Dixon the Freshly Pressed Nod
Two weeks ago, Maggie from Someone Fat Happened wrote me this email: Le Clown, how do we get David Dixon Freshly Pressed? I didn’t have the answer. The next best thing to do was to ask our story wranglers the same question: Michelle and Cheri, how do we get Bring Me the Head of David … Continue reading
Carnies: Le Clown Needs Your Help Now!
A Special Message from Le Clown White Baby Jesus™ and Le Clown have worked together to create a very special secular XMAS™ e-card. Being engulfed by the holiday spirit, Le Clown would like to send an e-card, with a very special message, to the Westboro Baptists Church folks. However, Pastor Fred Phelps is ignoring my tweets, … Continue reading
A Secular XMAS™ Gift For You!
Le Clown is a fucking miracle™. White Baby Jesus™ , in collaboration with Le Clown, offer you an exclusive Holiday e-card! Damn right: Jesus™ and Le Clown are tight like a kitten’s anus1. Le Clown terrorized Santa™’s elves with interpretive dance until they manufactured the most magnificent™ XMAS™ e-card ever [note from author: no child labour was … Continue reading
Santa, Don’t Rain on My Parade
On a crisp autumn Friday night, my wife and I were lounging, quiescent, in our living room. The fire was crackling, and the smell of cinder was covering up the stench of my daughter’s soiled diaper. We were about to turn off the record player…the sounds of Burt Bacharach, the shearling soft voice, and something about … Continue reading
A Bloggess on Fire
Truth be told: The Bloggess and Le Clown are not the same person. Admittedly, up to a few weeks ago, I didn’t know who The Bloggess was. Say it: Le Clown, have you been living under a rock? Perhaps, but it’s a mighty, beautiful rock. Admittedly, up to a few hours ago, I didn’t … Continue reading
A Christmas Story
In Canadaland, with the end of summer comes the winter of our discontent: heating bills triple, maple leafs turn dead, and American tourists migrate South. Let truth be told: even Canadians get the winter blues. And what is more depressing than cold, hungry polar bears and two hours of daylight? Christmas in October. We haven’t … Continue reading
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