Hello internets, I’m Bill McMorrow. Bill McMorrow of billmcmorrow.com fame, you ask? Yes, that very same Bill McMorrow. I want to lead off this post with a couple of caveats.
I don’t live in Boston. I actually live in the Town of Whitman, about thirty minutes south of Boston.
I can’t stand when people refer to Boston as Beantown.
But I also can’t resist a good fucking rhyme. So you can see it’s quite the conundrum I’m dealing with.
When I was asked to host the Magnificent™ Le Clown for a day, I was taken aback. So many questions raced through my mind. Why was Le Clown traveling to my neck of the woods? Was he coming to Boston to take advantage of our world-class hospitals and have his back examined proper like by medical-type doctor guys instead of relying on his traditional Canadian witch-doctors? Was he coming to take in some of the historic sites that Boston is famous for? Like Cheers, or that other place? Will the language barrier between his outlandish Frenglish, which I can only imagine sounds like Inspector Clouseau (Sellers not Martin) and my thick, sexy Boston accent, think Diane Lane in ‘The Perfect Storm’, be too much for us to overcome? Did he bring me any presents?
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
He showed up at the crack of dawn, apparently. I didn’t wake up for a whole bunch of hours after that, but by the time I did get up and find him out there, he was not happy.
“Oh, bonjour, The Bill. How splendid of you to finally answer the door.” , Le Clown said dismissively.
“Holy shit” I screamed, “you scared the hell out of me, man. How long have you been standing out here?”
“Since the, how do you say, crack of fuck?! I had told you I would be here today, why were you not ready to greet me in a personable and timely fashion, hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm?”
“I apologize Clown. It must be the time zone difference”, I said.
“But Montreal and Boston are in the same time zone”, LC replied.
“Sacre Bleu, you are correct!”, I blushed.
Then we I laughed.
“Well, Clown, what is it that you would like to do while your here? Besides take over the world and what not?”
“Bill, I have come to America to smell the sights, see the sounds and taste the odors of democracy in action. First off, I want to go see this Plymouth Rock that your dirty pilgrims landed on when they first arrived here. You know, before they forcefully removed the land from its rightful owners with small pox infested blankets and a campaign of genocide and then gave their descendants casinos in return? Even after they showed the pilgrims how to grow corn, or maize as it was known to their people.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No you don’t. Nobody willingly goes to see Plymouth Rock. Not unless you’re on a third grade field trip or something.”
“I am a guest in your land, and I want to see your Plymouth Rock! Drive me there immediately, if not sooner, or I shall call the Canadian Consulate post-haste!”
I decided that arguing with him would be futile, after the seventh or eighth time he told me arguing with him would be futile. We got in the car and made the half hour drive to Plymouth. On the way there, Le Clown instructed me on how to handle the throngs of admirers we were sure to encounter once we left the relatively safe confines of my car and mingled amongst “The Dirty Commoners” (His words, not mine)
Rules for Fan Interactions With Le Clown
- No direct eye contact is to be made with Le Clown, unless first pre-approved in writing.
- No personalized autographs are allowed. Le Clown is far too busy as it is to have to spend time spelling out your name. Unless it’s on a boob. Then it’s cool.
- Le Clown will not pose for photographs, unless you ask him to. Then he will.
- Le Clown reserves the right to change the rules for interacting with Le Clown at any time, without notice. Even right now. Or now.
- Le Clown reserves the right to make up rule 5 at a later date.
We arrived in downtown Plymouth and made our way to the most important piece of rock in American History, next to Guns N Roses debut album Appetite For Destruction. Naturally.
I knew I shouldn’t have given him that Sharpie
Le Clown looked perplexed. “The Bill”, he said, “This is the mighty boulder that the Pilgrims first set foot on when landing in your country of America, or what my people call “Upper Mexico”? This boulder is nothing more than a shoddy marketing gimmick to get people to part with their hard-earned loonies. Much like The Pet Rock or White Baby Jesus. I poop bigger than Plymouth Rock.”
“I told you that Le Clown, or I tried tell you. But you just get so gosh-darned excited with your love of history and learning things that you wouldn’t listen. You’re so fucking inquisitive, it’s adorable.” I tried to make it better, though. “While we’re here in Plymouth, why don’t we get some food? Maybe some lobsters or some clams? Let’s enjoy some of the delicious seafood that this region is known for.”
“No thank you, Bill. Before I left the Land of Candy I packed a duffel bag full of smoked meats. I also have this fanny pack full of gravy fries and cheese curds. I will just sit here quietly chewing away at my typical Canadian fare and staring at the side of your face whilst you whisk me away to another culturally significant landmark that will underwhelm me.”
His chewing wasn’t all that quiet, but the staring was nice.
We stopped by the house I grew up in, but nobody was home. Le Clown suggested breaking into the house and checking shit out. Maybe go all fruit loops and write disparaging shit about Barnum and Bailey‘s on the walls. He doesn’t like them, especially Barnum. Something about a stolen birthright and a missing heirloom or something. It’s a very convoluted story. He said if the cops come, he would just claim diplomatic immunity. I said, “Like that dude in Lethal Weapon 3?” Le Clown replied, “You mean the dude from Lethal Weapon 2, but exactly.” I totally meant the dude from Lethal Weapon 2. Sometimes I forget which Lethal Weapon I’m talking about because I love them all so much. But I wasn’t sure that I would be covered under LC’s diplomatic immunity plea, so we decided not to commit a B&E. ‘Cause I’m getting to old for that shit.
It was getting late and Le Clown needed to make it to Logan Airport for his flight back to Narnia. On the way into Boston, we took a detour to Causeway Street and “The Building That They Call The Boston Garden, But We All Know Ain’t Boston Garden” so Le Clown could see where his beloved Bruins play. He was incredibly happy, talking about Raymond Bourque, and Bobby Orr, and Cam Neely, and Vladimir ‘Rosie’ Ruzicka. He told me it makes him sad to have to pretend to be a Montreal Canadiens fan just to fit in at home.
“Bill, I bleed black and gold”, LC said, “But if anybody back home found out that I think Patrick Roy was a below average goalie who smells like poop and skates like a girl, I would be shunned. Much like the Amish, but with a little less beard. But if given the appropriate amount of time, I could grow a beard that makes a really Amish dude look like a less Amish dude. Promise me you will never tell my horrible secret to anybody. Even if they threaten to waterboard you or force you to watch five minutes of Two Broke Girls?” I promised Le Clown that his secret was safe with me, and I’m proud to say I kept my word.
Le Luggage
We arrived at Logan and I dropped him off at Gate C. We waved goodbye and I pulled away from the curb. I shall never forget Le Clowns final words as he grew smaller in my rearview mirror.
“Hey asshole!! You were supposed to drop me off at Gate A!!”
Have a safe trip home, my friend. I hope you don’t get stopped at the border.
Hilarious post. I loved it. You are one funny guy
Posted by Long Life Cats and Dogs | February 8, 2013, 07:13Thank you very much.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:52That was so funny I think I may have snorted out loud!
Posted by stephrogers | February 8, 2013, 07:23Snorting. The best kind of laughter! Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:53No wonder Le Clown’s back hurts- he’s been carrying around this enormous lie all his life. The lengths some people will go to to avoid getting beat up by Canadian hockey fans. Well you’re a good friend, Mr McMorrow, for keeping his secret safe.
Posted by happyzinny | February 8, 2013, 07:59I don’t want to pat myself on the back too much, but I’m pretty great.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:54Bill,
“But if anybody back home found out that I think Patrick Roy was a below average goalie who smells like poop and skates like a girl, I would be shunned”… Even in jest, reading this made my heartbeat accelerate. And I did laugh, but it was with tears, and a 2-hour session with my therapist… And people thought by XMAS banner was blasphemy…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 08:27Hahaha, I don’t entirely feel that way since Patrick Roy helped Ray Bourque win the cup in Colorado. But I still kind of do. Sorry Just take more dilaudid and you’ll calm down. Or flip out. Which one does that stuff make you do again?
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:57Bill,
Dilaudid makes me forget the headaches that the Bruins have given Montreal in the past few years…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 11:58So there’s that.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:40I’m rolling on the floor laughing at this post. “Upper Mexico”? That’s precious! Texans should love it!
Posted by mairedubhtx | February 8, 2013, 08:35But don’t they call Mexico “Lower Texas”?
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:58Good job dodging the paparazzi!
Posted by sortaginger | February 8, 2013, 09:02He was super elusive. Except for the photoshoot in front of Cheers, which lasted 3 hours and involved 8 wardrobe changes.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:14Bill, you caused me to spit with laughter my coffee onto my laptop screen! Handkerchief pour-for-four? (By the way, that’s Lower Mexican) And Bill, I don’t mean ‘let’s string-up an Indian chief OR any other warped ideas you’ve contracted from visiting “Canadian hockey fans” parading about Beantown! Thought about becoming a tour guide?
Great post!
Posted by Professor Taboo | February 8, 2013, 09:03Sorry laptop. A tour guide may be a good idea. I do like to tell people where to go. Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:16Do they really call us Upper Mexico??? Them’s fighting words.
Posted by The Cutter | February 8, 2013, 09:09Just during their secret meetings at the Moose Lodge.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:17Bill,
You’re one funny mammal. Nice work.
Posted by The Hook | February 8, 2013, 09:13Hahaha, that made me laugh. Thank you.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:18No thank you, Bill.
Posted by The Hook | February 8, 2013, 12:19Okay, thank me. Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:12i once showed up at the crack of dawn. she wasn’t very happy about it.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 09:15Then you didn’t do it right.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 09:59badum bumm. you got me on that one.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:02Thank you. I’m here all week.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:02two shows saturday.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:04If I’m “up” for it.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:05invest in those little blue pills
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:08Dangerous waters to tread there. Priapism can end in a trip to the ER. And then it’s definitely not worth it.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:09i don’t care about priapism. what if it won’t go down?
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:15Yeah…that’s what worries me, too.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:24“if you get an erection lasting four hours, see a doctor” bullshit – i’m throwing a party.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:26Free orgasms for everyone!!
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:35but wait, there’s more. need a place to hang your hat? towel? DD’s?
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 10:37It’s a multi-purpose tool!!
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:45if you call in the next ten minutes, you’ll get not one but two.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 11:22Haha… Okay. I think that’s as far as I’m going with this one.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 11:23i hear ya.
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 11:23You think she was mad, you should have heard Tony Orlando.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:20bingo!
Posted by rich | February 8, 2013, 13:45Monsieur McMorrow, you make me laugh no matter where you are in the blogosphere. So nice of you to show Le Clown around your town. I hear to do so is one of the highest achievements man or woman can reach. Of course, it’s all down hill for you now…
By the way, if the following about Le Clown is true: “I poop bigger than Plymouth Rock”, then I know of a good stool softener he might like to try.
Posted by Carrie Rubin | February 8, 2013, 09:52Carrie,
I’m all ears…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 09:53Le Clown,
Taco Bell. You’re welcome.
Twindaddy
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 10:00Excellent. Do you prefer the oral route or rectal?…
Posted by Carrie Rubin | February 8, 2013, 10:09Carrie,
Here’s me keeping it PG…Is there a “wishing it out” cleansing method?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 10:39I was wondering where you’d go with my last comment. Such restraint you showed!
Posted by Carrie Rubin | February 8, 2013, 11:34Carrie,
Le Clown is adaptable, a true chameleon maverick who… Damn, lost my thought.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 11:35Thank you, Madame Rubin. I think the pooping as big as Plymouth Rock is probably the cause of Le Clowns back pain.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:22Yes! Why didn’t I see it sooner?! I shall call you Doctor Colon from now on.
Posted by Carrie Rubin | February 8, 2013, 12:32This was epic. You’re hilarious!! And I bet that Canadian guy running around for no reason was Monsieur Clown…
Posted by Nicole Marie | February 8, 2013, 09:58Thanks Nicole. I totally picture Le Clown as that dude. “I can’t go back. It’s so cold” in a Canadian language or something.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:25Well done, Bill. This was hilarious. You should have dropped him off at a hospital to let a real doctor look at his back.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 09:59I would have, but America doesn’t accept Universal Health Care. Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:26Yes, but as a non-citizen he would have been taken care of.
Posted by twindaddy | February 8, 2013, 12:38Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:43Bill, I was recently at a conference where myself and a bunch of my nursing cohorts awoke at the crack of fuck to waste our hospitals money on fancy dinner lectures in your fair city. Do you call yourselves Beantownians or is it beaners?
Thanks!
Josef
Posted by josefkul | February 8, 2013, 10:03Hahaha, we just call ourselves the cool kids.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:28From the looks / sounds of it, Le Clown, you got out of Boston just in time… they are looking at perhaps an historic nor’easter… leaving possibly 2-4 feet of snow!
Bill, you are a generous and kind tour guide. And funny too. I must hop on over to your bloggo and see what’s up there!!! Good luck with old man winter!!
Thanks for a fun post. BTW, doesn’t LeClown take care of his stool problem by just drinking the water down here?
Posted by BuddhaKat | February 8, 2013, 10:19BuddhaKat,
Please stop by anytime. The more the merrier. We are bracing for the apocalyptic end of the world snowstorm as I type this. 35 years after the Blizzard of ’78. Whoops, sounds like I found my next blog post. Hahaha
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:30Upper Mexico. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Posted by Addie | February 8, 2013, 10:37I giggled at that myself.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:31I know, right? That Bill guy is a hoot.
Posted by Addie | February 8, 2013, 16:20I am enjoying learning things about le real le clown that he is too le pompous and le stuck up to share with us himself. It is always nice to see one’s idols deflated a little, taken down a peg or two, knocked off their pedestals, shaken out of their ivory towers! The little people must rise up and climb the legs of these over-inflated giants who run amok and trample us under foot, so that we might lop off their well-groomed heads and… sorry… what were we talking about?
Oh, yes… nice post indeed. You may have been more le clowny than le clown!
Posted by pouringmyartout | February 8, 2013, 11:12He was adorable eating out of that dufflebag of meat though. And staring at the side of my face.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:34yeah… that was hardly creepy at all…
Posted by pouringmyartout | February 8, 2013, 12:34LoveVomit on the B’s!FuckLove me some Habs!
Posted by Colleen Dubois Photography | February 8, 2013, 11:26Colleen,
I made your comment better.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 11:37That’s chicanery!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 12:36Reblogged this on Bill McMorrow and commented:
The Magnificent™ Le Clown came to visit. Did he survive too tell about it? You’ll have to read it to find out. But I hope so. One thing I don’t need is another murder charge.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 11:37Hee hee…that Le Clown is an insufferable Rick (with a silent P), eh?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 12:02Hahaha, he was amazingly well behaved once I put him in the trunk.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:14I bet he broke out the tail-lights and waved his red nose thru the hole!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 13:43He did. But he waved the nose on the tip of his middle finger, so everyone thought he was just another Boston driver.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 16:16Bill, you’re a blast! A rollicking good time. What an honour for you to host Le Clown. I guess next time, no sharpies. I guess it’s true no one wants to visit the rock unless they’re on a field trip. I lived in Boston for 3 months and no one knew how to get to all the tourist destinations that I wanted to see (at least by car!).
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 12:16Thinking about driving in Boston makes my stomach hurt
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 12:46Denise, I had the worst driving experiences of my life in Boston!! Believe me, I understand.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 12:57I admire you 500x more b/c you actually DROVE in Boston… I’d have just vomited in my lap from nerves.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 13:02Ah, I just too young to know better. I even did it more than once! I did cry.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 13:18Driving in Boston is not that scary as long as you’re drunk.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:23Ha! That must be what everyone does, Bill.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 13:261000x more admiration…
My son (age 10) looks at traffic in NYC and says “I cannot wait to get my license and drive in New York!” … he didn’t get that from my gene pool. And, yes, my son likes to watch live traffic cams in cities… typically Canadian cities during dusk in the winter… he’s weird
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 13:45Wow, that is a little bizarre, Denise. Well, your son will be able to drive you, soon…I guess in 6 years. My son is 10 also. I don’t want him to drive ever! Why Canadian cities. Is Le Clown’s Montreal one of them?
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 13:52They have good cams and it’s almost a guarantee that there will be snow in the winter. Edmonton is his favorite. Maybe he likes their hockey team…
I can’t wait for Dorian to drive – I hate driving…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 13:56Dorian, I like the name. Soon, Denise. I don’t like driving either. I guess in Arizona there are no subways.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 14:01AFAIK that is true (about Arizona)…but I’ve been on them in the east coast.
He’s a Unique kid! And thank you – we love his name too – as you probably know, finding a name that both parents like can be a challenge!
The first 10 yrs flew by – I wonder about these next 6. What’s the driving age in your neck of the woods?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 14:28Sixteen, I think?? I really don’t want to think about it….they make it a lot harder to drive now. I’m not really sure.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 18:02Remind me – you’re American or Canadian?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 8, 2013, 19:08American, west coast, California. I know it’s 16, unless it’s been changed.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 20:13Yes 16 is correct, I believe (my brother lives in Cal as well). Cal is amongst the SCARIEST driving states…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | February 9, 2013, 08:53Driving in town is not my favorite activity. I mean, I’ll do it. I’ll just piss and moan the whole time. Like a true Bostonian.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:16Bill, there were a couple of intersections where I feared for my life. It’s not like there’s grid or anything. I was way confused. So, at least you can do it It was amusing. I would ask people who lived there for directions, and they would have no idea how to get somewhere by car. I would be really lost.
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 13:23People just say, “Take the fuckin’ T”!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 16:19Exactly!
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 8, 2013, 17:59I had a headache before I started reading this, now I have… wtfu have I? I dunno… it was educational, inspiriting (without the t and third i), totally le clown-atioous (I can’t spell today. t-o-d-a-y, oh yes I can) and… I loved it. The post I mean. Well don. Er, done.
Now where’s that fucking clown when you need him? Has he got back yet? Is his red nose still intact or did he leave it in North Mexico?
Posted by Val | February 8, 2013, 12:52I’m pretty sure he got nabbed at the border. Because he said he was going to stop and run a surprise inspection on Homeland Security. They don’t like that much.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:18I’m getting too old for this long-ass list of comments. Just wanted to say that was a fine piece of zingery.
Posted by rossmurray1 | February 8, 2013, 12:52Hahaha, thank you kindly.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:19So did it turn out that “everybody knows (Le Clown’s) (your) name”? I would think that with that fanny pack of poutine people would just assume he was some face-painted tourist who missed his bus.
Great tour. I’m glad you treated Le Clown so well.
Posted by iRuniBreathe | February 8, 2013, 12:58Actually, right after this picture, Le Clown said, “The Bill, I have been sober for two and a half years. I shan’t go in there. Plus I still owe Cliff Clavin the twenty loonies that he lent me in 1991.”
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:22And he would have to sacrifice his poutine as interest.
Posted by iRuniBreathe | February 8, 2013, 13:30“Cliff Clavin can have my poutine when he pries it from my cold dead hands.” – Le Clowns actual quote.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:46Bill, even though I’ve made it to the entire opposite end of the country, Bahstn will always be home. Scituate. Would’ve paid good money (US dollars) to see Le Clown there. Hope you fare well with the storm of the century. As a survivor of the Blizzard of ’78 (which was something else in Scituate!), I’ll be watching, from a distance, with interest. I always suspected LC was a closet Bruins fan.
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | February 8, 2013, 13:43I love Scituate. I actually did a comedy fundraiser last year for S.A.N.D.S – The Scituate Alliance of Natural Disaster Services. I’m sure they’ll be busy this weekend. Great town. Hopefully the storm will spare us all. But it’s looking biblical right now.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 13:50“Epic,” seems to be thrown around a lot too.
Hang tight Bill! Really enjoyed your post.
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | February 8, 2013, 14:08I’m going to try. I’m enjoying watching the news reporter standing by Scituate Light right now talking about how dangerous it is outside. Hahaha. Thanks for the kind words, my friend.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 16:25Oh, I miss seeing the local stuff unfold! Familiar sites that I only get to see when I travel back, once every few summers.
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | February 8, 2013, 18:39“gosh-darned” The language in this is deserving of an X rating!
Posted by calahan | February 8, 2013, 14:03I’m a bit of a smut mouth.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 14:28No kidding! Gee whiz!
Posted by calahan | February 8, 2013, 15:16I almost left it out but I felt it wouldn’t be authentic, for the love of fuck!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 16:56“Crack of fuck” made me fill my pants.
Posted by Lyssapants | February 8, 2013, 14:42Great success!!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 15:18Dear Le Clown,
If you ever want to visit Chicago (suburbs) you just let me know.
QC
Posted by Quirky Chrissy | February 8, 2013, 15:19Quirky Chrissy,
You might hear from me soon enough.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 8, 2013, 18:04I’ll take that as a definite maybe. QC
Posted by Quirky Chrissy | February 8, 2013, 18:24Bill McM:
Good idea to get Le Clown out of Boston before the bad weather. I think that his nose is electrified so that, even if he got stuck in a snowdrift, he could be found by the red glow. Now that I think about it, maybe you should have kept him in Boston so that rescuers can find you.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | February 8, 2013, 15:28I have no delusions that I will be rescued. I have already started Googling “How to safely cook and eat your housecat”. I mean, we have a fridge stocked with food, but I just want to be prepared.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 17:00Good planning. Just be sure that you get to the housecat before the cat gets to you.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | February 8, 2013, 17:17I’m not sure if most of the readers will understand just how funny dropping someone off at the wrong gate at Logan is (not to them, of course…). I high-five you sir. Also, I went on that third grade trip and it was terrible… until we got to play tug-o-war and eat pie (which was clearly planned because they knew how lame the freakn’ rock is).
Posted by Soul Walker | February 8, 2013, 15:29Soul Walker,
Your acknowledgement of my Logan joke has made this all worth it. It really is a fucking nightmare. I gladly receive and return your high five. Up top!!
The Bill
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 17:06The Bill,
One time in the nineties I got dropped off at the wrong terminal in January with no coat… it almost took me 45 minutes to get to my gate and I thought I was going to freeze to death. Don’t forget to aim for the elbow when you are doing the running high-fives. The pain is totally worth it.
-Soul Walker
Posted by Soul Walker | February 9, 2013, 02:27More and more le clowns back problems have translated to vindictive fury against all other towns and cities. And of course his beloved tour guides.
Posted by The Laughing Duck | February 8, 2013, 16:36There’s only one way to defend oneself against the legendary fury of Le Clown….Ticklefight!!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 8, 2013, 17:08Yes.. His drugs will get to him… Amused he’ll definitely be.
Posted by The Laughing Duck | February 8, 2013, 21:34I wanna go to Plymouth Rock … please? If I put on a red nose?
Posted by Elyse | February 8, 2013, 19:54You don’t have to wear a red nose to go there. But it does make the pictures you take more fun. Or funner. Or whichever one of those is grammatically correct.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 10, 2013, 20:14I’m not sure it is possible to be grammatically correct on a rock. Nobody would expect it of me, anyway.
Posted by Elyse | February 10, 2013, 20:17Bill….that was fucking hilarious. You made me laugh out loud several times. You rock!
Posted by Wendy Reid | February 8, 2013, 21:14Thanks Wendy. You rock for saying that!
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 10, 2013, 20:15Le Clown, the honorary Masshole. Awesome post. Sign my boob.
Posted by daddyranman | February 9, 2013, 04:48Hahaha, how do you turn down signing a boob, right?
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 10, 2013, 20:16Agreed! A boob is a boob is a boob!
Posted by daddyranman | February 11, 2013, 21:44Loved Le Clown’s “final words”. I did laugh out loud. He should live in Toronto and he could hate the Leafs without reprisal like everyone else around here.
Posted by "HE WHO" | February 9, 2013, 12:02He Who,
Just reading “he should live in Toronto” made my eyes bleed.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | February 9, 2013, 15:04LOL
Posted by "HE WHO" | February 9, 2013, 16:14Thank you. Or gracias, as they say in Upper Mexican.
Posted by Bill McMorrow | February 10, 2013, 20:18Hysterical! I love the video.
We certainly are getting some insite into Le Clown with all these visitations.
Posted by Michelle Gillies | February 10, 2013, 11:41The Bill, I hope that enough time has now passed that you’re starting to recover from what was quite a day! Thank you for making me laugh.
Posted by faithhopechocolate | February 12, 2013, 08:40with
Posted by TheSeedSaidSo | February 27, 2013, 21:27the
Posted by TheSeedSaidSo | February 27, 2013, 21:35again
Posted by TheSeedSaidSo | February 27, 2013, 21:46