The Great XMAS Blogroll Induction Extravaganza – Last Day.
A very special end of year blogroll inductee post by The Byronic Man. I contacted Le Byronic Man, asked if he wanted to write the last post of the year on ACOF. He agreed. That’s all I have to say, my Carnies. Enjoy the post; enjoy the last day of the year. To all, a magnificent™New Year’s Eve. Be safe. Be loving. I’ll see you back in 2013.
So the year is at an end, despite the best efforts of the Mayans trying to push us off the fiscal cliff in to a benghazi pit (I think I have that right. I tend to just kind of skim the headlines). It is, of course, the time of year when many people make resolutions, and many others mock them for it. But resolutions, if done right, can be like a roadmap for the direction you’d like your life to take this coming year. And if done really right, can be total conversation stoppers that have people staring at you in wide-eyed shock.
Try some of these techniques to inject new life in to those boring resolutions:
Pull a reversal. One of my favorite resolutions was a friend who decided he would “smoke more” in the new year. Reversal resolutions are not only more interesting, but you’re quite a bit more likely to stick to them, and really accomplish something. Why, by the end of the following year my cigarette-inhaling friend, smelled like a tire fire! Well done, Jason! So, tell people you’re going to watch more TV. Or try to make a lot less money. Finally rescue the princess in Super Mario Brothers. Eat a whole pig. Never stand up for yourself.
Commit. It’s one thing to rattle off the first ideas that pop in to your head at a New Year’s Eve party when someone asks you about resolutions. It’s another to have them tattooed on your chest at the party.
Try giving old classics a new twist. If you tell someone “I’m going to lose weight!” they’re not going to believe you and they’re going to think you’re dull. “I’m going to lose weight… in only my right arm!” Now that’s interesting. “I’m going to learn to play the guitar…” yawn. “…by abducting Eric Clapton and forcing him to teach me!” Interesting! “I’m going to start doing yoga…” Ho hum. “…naked, in the grocery store.” And so on.
Be bold. No one likes mediocrity. And no one expects you to carry out every single resolution. You can use this to your advantage. Imagine a year in which your goals are to put a flag with your face on it on all of the world’s great monuments. Or to fist-fight a bear. To start a cult.
The great thing about holidays is they make us stop for the briefest of moments and appreciate our lives, and to reflect. And New Year’s gets us thinking about who we are, what we want the blank slate of our futures to be filled with. And so the most important thing for your resolutions is to just be yourself. Well, not yourself, obviously. I mean, you’re the one who got you in to this mess in the first place, which is why you need all these resolutions, right? So scratch that. In 2013, just be someone else. Someone better. Be the naked, TV-watching, monument-defacing, cult-leader you know you can be.
A Merry New Year Addendum from Le Clown: Jules, this one’s for you; some end of year love. Jules’ ego: you’re welcome.