The Great XMAS Blogroll Induction Extravaganza – Day 3. Also, the Apocalypse.
A Note from Le Clown: Dear Carnies, today is the end of the world. I’m writing you these last words from work… that’s how much work ethic I have. My kids are home with my wife… that’s how clever I am. We’ve skipped on the last few meals, and opted to stop washing… well they haven’t washed, I did—I would like to look pretty when I meet the Maker… I fear I might have a great deal of explanation to do, but I might have a better chance going through Heaven’s doors if my teeth are sparkling clean. But this is not about the Apocalypse, nor is about White Baby Jesus and Mayan yummy chocolate… this post is about Society Red, and I’d like to thank him for allowing me to butt in on his thread, and apologize to him for hijacking his blogroll spotlight…. said Le Clown. HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry Jesus. I take it back. Mea Culpa.
_____________________
That my induction into your blogroll occurs on the shortest day of the year, the beginning of winter, and the end of the world (according to Mayan calculations) has not gone unnoticed Le Clown. I assume you planned it this way because you know how much I hate the season of winter (and the end of the world) and that you intended to ease my entry into one or the other with this gesture of love…thank you.
When I got the email from Le Clown asking if I would consider being inducted into his blogroll I was honored, floored, and a little tingly. Honored because I’ve read the blogs in Le Clown’s blogroll and as expected, the blogs endorsed by Le Clown are outstanding; floored because the caliber of work within those blogs is both amazing and intimidating; and tingly because this is a virtual reach-around from the magnanimous master himself! Le Clown and his blog are a phenomenon; he and his cast of characters are some of the best people I’ve ever known. I’ve been a member of the Le Clown fan club for about six months and I can honestly say I’ve never felt closer to a crazy group of fuckers like I do to you.
HonoUrary Clowns
The real eye-opener for me while meeting and hanging with Le Clown and his crew, is the process of realizing why I blog and what my blogging persona is. I started blogging to clear my head, like a laxative for my brain. What I realized a year later is that I love to write. I want to improve and find my voice. Many of you are funny as fuck(!), and when I read your work I nearly pee my pants laughing. Others write of life transitions and difficult situations and the bravery to face these things in a way that makes me want to reach out and hug you. All of you teach by example; your creativity and style and commitment to your work contribute to the positive evolution of everyone that reads you, and you make me want to be a better writer. I am honored to be inducted but I’m especially grateful to have this platform to say “thank you fuckers”, for all you do!
Thank you Le Clown, and a special thank you to Madame Weebles for stopping by my blog last July and serving as the portal that led me to the vortex, sucking me into this world.
BFF4EVS
Post Scriptum from Le Clown: Before you all die from a horrible death, during a full-house-end-of-the-world concert by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Nickelback, in the blazing heat of Hell, you might want to read a few posts from John the Apostle:
- Composition, Contrast, Color;
- Pike Place Market Living;
- Top 10 Reasons My Mistress Is Perfect (a post to lure the Freshly Pressed Gods);
- Vanilla Ice Cream–Revisited (his actual Freshly Pressed post).
Congratulations, Red — you are awesome. And it was a great acceptance blog, to boot.
And thank you Le Clown — you introduced Red to my blog earlier this week and we have had our own love fest.
Posted by Elyse | December 21, 2012, 07:28Elyse! Have you been blog-cheating on me? WTF?
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 09:26Twindaddy,
She assured me you had an open relationship…
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:40Oh, did she? She failed to mention that to me…
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 10:52Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:57I feel so used…
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 11:18TwinDaddy you will be ashamed of me. I am not only blog cheating with you using my new friend Red, but I am doing so with dozens of other bloggers. I am a veritable blog whore and follow men, women and groups at the drop of the right combination of words.
I am so ashamed.
Posted by Elyse | December 21, 2012, 12:13What? Now I feel used…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:58But lovingly used, I promise.
Posted by Elyse | December 21, 2012, 12:59Great. That’s just great. I guess I need to go get myself tested. Shit.
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 13:46Don’t worry, mine doesn’t even hurt anymore…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 13:59Oh, there’s pain involved? Awesome. Isn’t the world supposed to end today or something?
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:00It did. This is the hell I don’t believe in.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:01Oh, shit. It’s eerily similar to real life. Who knew?
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:02Wait, I meant heaven. Now I’m fucked.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:04It seems so. It seems consorting with the blog-whore doomed us both.
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:05An eternity of suffering for six hours of pleasure…I’m good with that!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:15You got six hours!?!?! You’ve got some splainin’ to do, Elyse!
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:16I had to cut it short. She said you were on your way.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:19Oh, that’s nice. At least I take precidence.
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:45Actually she said she didn’t want to complicate things, and that I shouldn’t go too far because you would only be a minute…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:54Well she was wrong! That time…
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:55They have pills for that you know.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:57There was a 4 hour episode once. It wasn’t pretty.
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 14:58You win twindaddy, you got me with that one…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 17:44Woohooo!!
Posted by twindaddy | December 21, 2012, 18:15Thanks Elyse,
The love fest has just begun…
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:37Great! I didn’t really want to keep my job, anyway.
Posted by Elyse | December 21, 2012, 12:22Jobs are overrated. Love is what’s happening…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:57True. And it is so much better for the economy.
Posted by Elyse | December 21, 2012, 13:00Hey hey hey …. I would imagine city officials are planning a Pride of Seattle parade for you. And I’m especially proud of the fact that I discovered your blog long ago … thus I can say, I remember him when. Congrats!!!
Posted by aFrankAngle | December 21, 2012, 07:48Frank!
The pride parade was last summer. I was looking for a kabob and someone directed me to the free prostate check booth. I never got my kabob…
Thanks for hanging with me all these years.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:47Bummer about the kabob … at least you know where/who not to ask next year.
Posted by aFrankAngle | December 21, 2012, 11:29Ah, Society Red, who I only recently ‘met’ and who I think is (almost) as wonderful as Le Clown.
Posted by Meizac | December 21, 2012, 07:54Meizac,
Watch it woman…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 21, 2012, 07:55Hehehe….
Posted by Meizac | December 21, 2012, 08:08Thanks Meizac!
I think you’re pretty fucking awesome too!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:49Le Clown,
She said almost, chill…
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:49LeClown, in the past few days you have introduced me to some amazing writers. Merci. And since 5:11 a.m. as come and gone here in CST (the land of the Mayas) and the world has not ended, I’m also glad I have been able to subscribe to their blogs to read more of their work. Le fin n’viens pas.
Posted by mairedubhtx | December 21, 2012, 08:04Mairedubhtx,
So glad the world has not ended so I can explore your blog!
I don’t speak French so I’ll just assume you said you love me.
I love you too.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 10:56Blogging – laxative for the brain. Totally using that.
Posted by speaker7 | December 21, 2012, 08:35speaker7,
You always make me pee a little when I read your blog-thank you.
The metaphor is yours, hang it on the tree. Merry Clownmas!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:04Welcome – laxatives are fun and sofening. I trust Le Clown’s judgement so much, that I’m following you BEFORE I read any of your posts. But you used the word laxative and you seem to think either I’m funny or huggable, so I already adore you & your words. Of course you might not have read anything that I wrote yet, but I will pretend you did and still adore you.
Welcome to the Jungle ~
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | December 21, 2012, 08:51Rutabaga,
I’ve been stalking you for months so I know you are both funny AND huggable.
Now that I’ve outed myself we should be friends, yes?
Thanks for the welcome!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:09Oh yes! It was you stalking me? And here I thought it was just some Le Clown ~
Friends it is- I can’t wait to read more. Does that mean I’m fugable?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | December 21, 2012, 11:11Fugalovable!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:25Bonus!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | December 21, 2012, 11:34Double bonus!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:42Dear Sir SeattleRed,
Celebrity-ness? *pause*
and *pause* so close to home?
*pause* Oh, Oh..”…be still my heart!”
XXOOXPortlandJots
Posted by jotsfromasmallapt | December 21, 2012, 09:26Jots my sweet southern neighbor,
I now join your celebrity-ness.
“Sir” adds ten years to my chronological age, I prefer “Lord”.
Thank you,
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:17Lord….it is!!!
Posted by jotsfromasmallapt | December 21, 2012, 12:31Red is the shit. The end.
Posted by becca3416 | December 21, 2012, 09:41And thank you for “laxative for my brain”. I died.
Posted by becca3416 | December 21, 2012, 09:43Pulled that out of my ass…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:27Even your responses are perfect, gah!
Posted by becca3416 | December 21, 2012, 11:28I have reached the pinnacle! Let the world end!
Thanks Becca,
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:26You’re blaming ME for this?? Fuck you. Also, expect an email from me.
Posted by Madame Weebles | December 21, 2012, 09:49Weebs,
You started it!
And where’s my fucking cookies!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 11:29He had me at Pike Place Market! What can I say, I’m easy.
Posted by Adrienne schmadrienne | December 21, 2012, 10:11Thanks Adrienne!
And you had me at Quasi-Public Sex! I’m easier.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:08I love you Red. So, I wrote you this song. Cheeseburgers Are Like A Pair of Dice
♫ ♫ When it’s cold as a witch’s tit, we don’t give a shit, just fire up the grill to ward off the chill and slap on a slab of red meat. When it’s cold as a well digger’s ass, you can count on that full tank of gas to bring out the flavor in the burgers we savor, a slab of some awesome red meat.
coda: You can forget the lettuce and tomato; no Heinz 57 or gall dang potato. Keep the big kosher pickle and cold draft beer, good gawd almighty we’re just glad Red’s here.
♫ ♫ Chorus: Red won’t raise our cholesterol. He makes us laugh and we have a ball. (this line borrowed from Buffett) Makin’ the best of every virtue and vice. Now be a dear and get us some ice. Hurry up Honie, don’t make me ask twice. Cheeseburgers are like a pair of dice.
♫ ♫Cardiograms and angioplasty aren’t very fun, they’re kinda nasty. Glad we got to party while we had the time. I should’ve skipped the burgers and stuck with the rhymes. Now it’s heart healthy crap I can’t stand, but there’s still Red and I’m a big fan.
♫ ♫Repeat Chorus♫ ♫
Posted by Honie Briggs | December 21, 2012, 10:26Honie,
Holy Fuck me in both ears!
This is awesome! My first song…I am honored!
Red
(P.S. I love you too!)
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:11I knew not of Society Red until just a couple of weeks ago, and I am pleased to now to know such a fellow.
Posted by La La | December 21, 2012, 10:30Thank you La La,
Pleased to know you as well M’lady.
If we ever meet in person I expect some serious monkey face.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:16laxative for the brain. gross, yet poignant.
Posted by rich | December 21, 2012, 10:43Rich,
You only say gross because you wish you thought of it first.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:18the original subtitle for my blog was “things that drip from my brain.” which in a way was like a nasal laxative. but yeah, you’re right.
Posted by rich | December 21, 2012, 12:19Red, Yay!! If it wasn’t for Le Clown we may not have met. It is such a great community of people. I love the Honourary Clown photo. Very sweet! I agree “Laxative of the brain,” is quite poignant. I feel the same way!
Posted by The Bumble Files | December 21, 2012, 11:44Thanks Amy,
I agree, Le Clown is a hub of greatness. You are one of the best!
Granddaughter on the left yelled out “Hey Fucker!” in the car after someone cut us off. She’s 3. Sweet kid…
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:25That’s lovely about your granddaughter! It’s cute when kids cuss, isn’t it? I’m kind of serious about that…I have to watch my mouth around my kids because they’re definitely listening. I love your work, Red. Your blog is a pleasure.
Posted by The Bumble Files | December 21, 2012, 13:09Welcome John!
Cher M. Le Clown, may I remind you that you stand at Heaven’s door each time you enter your home with your Ringmistress and your babies waiting for you at the other side? While they may prefer sparkly, white teeth, I’m sure they’ll love you any way you show up! xoxoM
Posted by Margarita | December 21, 2012, 12:06Thank you Margarita!
Your name gives me a hangover but I love it.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:28Sometimes gives me a hangover, too! lol xoM
Posted by Margarita | December 21, 2012, 12:30Red, you cleanse and purge and leave only goodness. Lovely to see you via Le Clown. I’m glad to have found you in this Circus.
Posted by iRuniBreathe | December 21, 2012, 12:21Thanks Tania,
Your words are like peanut M&M’s; I just can’t get enough.
This circus is officially my favorite place, did I see you walking the tightrope?
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 13:28That WAS me walking the tightrope. I’m practicing up for my big day. Once I really get my act together, I will juggle peanut M&M’s as well.
Stay Red!
Posted by iRuniBreathe | December 21, 2012, 13:48Thanks Tania,
Your words are like peanut M&M’s; I just can’t get enough.
This circus is officially my favorite place, did I see you walking the tightrope?
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 12:35Shit, now I’m seeing double…
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:01YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! One of my favorite bloggers. GO BIG RED!
Posted by Jen and Tonic | December 21, 2012, 12:51Thanks Jen!
Right back atcha!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 13:29Le Clown and Red are twin brothers of different mothers.
Posted by Maggie O'C | December 21, 2012, 13:16Maggie!
What a compliment, thank you!
Of course you just added 14 years to Le Clown, instant old Fucker!
I did lose a younger brother once when the circus was in town…
Good to see you!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 13:51Another blog to follow! Le Clown has great taste. I am going to be a very busy girl, but enjoying myself. Merry Christmas all!
Posted by JackieP | December 21, 2012, 13:31Thanks JackieP!
Your blog looks very tasty. I look forward to it!
Have a great holiday!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:08thanks Red! You have a wonderful Christmas!
Posted by JackieP | December 21, 2012, 14:27I’ve chatted with Red during the Twitter pic exchange-fest. I liked him. Now I will go read him. I anticipate liking him even more.
Posted by calahan | December 21, 2012, 13:33Calahan,
I have your photo pinned to the ceiling above my bed.
I like you too.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:17Well, I’m flattered just as long as you used the really nice, multi-colored thumbtacks.
Posted by calahan | December 21, 2012, 14:21Those are too distracting.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:27They really are. You’ll look right past the blue in my eyes.
Posted by calahan | December 21, 2012, 14:29Exactly!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:33Dear Red (and Le Clown),
I am at a quandary as to whether or not I ought to add you to my list -.- because I kind of know you, and we almost had a love child via WordPress, but then you came out of the closet with living in Seattle and/or being a Seahawks fan and you abused me with a 58-0 score and…
Yeah, you’re on my list -.- too.
U/CL
Posted by UndercoverL | December 21, 2012, 13:43U/CL,
It was just the one time.
It didn’t mean anything.
It’ll never happen again.
…what do you mean, almost?
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:23Red,
What was “just the one time?” Bringing up Seattle or our almost-love-child? Clarify, please.
U/CL
Posted by UndercoverL | December 21, 2012, 14:52Certainly not our almost-love-child!
Seattle sucks!
There is that better?
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:56Dear Red,
I love you again, and you are off the list -.-.
<3
U/CL
Posted by UndercoverL | December 21, 2012, 15:00Damn it Le Clown. Will you stop this? I have too many blogs to follow already and you keep adding more. My husband will never eat a hot meal again. And don’t turn that sentence into some sexual innuendo.
Posted by robincoyle | December 21, 2012, 13:55Robin,
Trust me, you’ll be an instant fan.
I can’t wait to read your book, it’s now on my list.
Have a great vacation!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 14:32You had me at hello.
Posted by robincoyle | December 21, 2012, 15:37Robin,
One new GREAT blogger featured per day until the end of year. I suggest you get your hubby more tv channels…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 21, 2012, 17:30He may insist on a new wife.
Posted by robincoyle | December 21, 2012, 19:27Great stuff Society Red. Congratulations on this prestigious honoUr. Hopefully Le Clown starts you off with something nice like running the fried dough stand, and not cleaning up the remains of the Flying Walenda’s. When is that family gonna learn?
Posted by Bill McMorrow | December 21, 2012, 14:59Thanks Bill!
I was told I would be in charge of the freak show.
So I’m in charge here now?
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 17:38You’re welcome fucker?
Congrats! I applaud your clean teeth, even though Lucifer doesn’t give a shit.
Posted by Lyssapants | December 21, 2012, 15:48Lyssapants,
I have no teeth.
I am Lucifer and I do give a shit.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 17:57fuck me.
Posted by Lyssapants | December 21, 2012, 18:22I don’t know why but you make me laugh.
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 18:24My job here is done.
Posted by Lyssapants | December 21, 2012, 18:43Red, you’re in my top ten. \MM/ <–too much rock for one hand; that's how much you rock. Cheers mate!
P.S. Hopefully the earth doesn't explode before you get your day in the spotlight. But, after that, fuck it.
Posted by Adam S | December 21, 2012, 16:54Adam my bitchin brother,
Le Clown’s spotlight is so bright I thought the earth did explode.
You are in my top five because your work is so fucking amazing.
Thanks,
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 17:53Red, you just moved up a few spots on my list…
Posted by Adam S | December 23, 2012, 20:33Le Clown,
It was quite a ride.
Thank you for choosing my blog to be inducted into your magnificent XMAS blogroll.
I never got chosen to be on any teams as a child. I carried that shame until today.
I’m better now.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 19:45Reblogged this on SocietyRed and commented:
SocietyRed has been inducted to the Magnificent Le Clown’s XMAS blogroll!
Read on and join the fun!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 19:47Way to go Society Red! And very exciting to have a Seattle dude running the show for a day. I’m red too (red haired) in Bellingham. So know the donuts at Pike’s Place (far too well) and the places that make us reds tick. Congratulations!
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | December 21, 2012, 19:57Thank you talesfromthemotherland!
So glad to know you! I love Bellingham!
I look forward to scoping out your work!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 21:33btw-my lovely wife is a redhead as well, we’re going to get along just fine!
Posted by SocietyRed | December 21, 2012, 21:34The Ham is truly the best of the best, as far as I can tell. Since I’m nearly as old as you, I can say that with some confidence. Really enjoyed your post today about aging…
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | December 21, 2012, 21:43Congrats Red!!! You belong in this place…because you are wonderful. And it is fucked up crazy coo in here. Love it!!!
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | December 21, 2012, 23:52Thanks isawbobdylaninaspeedo,
I think I belong in this place because I’m as crazy as everyone here!
Have a great holiday!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 22, 2012, 10:38