Le Clown is a fucking miracle™.
White Baby Jesus™ , in collaboration with Le Clown, offer you an exclusive Holiday e-card! Damn right: Jesus™ and Le Clown are tight like a kitten’s anus1.
Le Clown terrorized Santa™’s elves with interpretive dance until they manufactured the most magnificent™ XMAS™ e-card ever [note from author: no child labour was involved in the making of these cards. Kids can't have babies, duh.]. You want the holiday e-card for yourself or for sort-of loved ones? Ask Le Clown via email… Send a message, and Le Clown will personalize the e-card and send it to you, or anyone, in time for Christmas2. You can always write a comment with your email address, if need be. Sweet Balls!
You thought you were going to offer a customized Bobblehead to your loved ones. NOPE!!! Everyday is fucking magical on A Clown on Fire!
Come back later today for a very special post for Le Clown’s friends at the Westboro Baptist Church. Le Clown: the gift that keeps on giving!
1 Tight like a kitten’s anus: All Rights Reserved, Le Sacha Baron Clown.
2 Offer ends December 21, 2012.
Warning: Tomorrow on A Clown on Fire, a post by L’Éric.
I’ve made reservations already.
Posted by Doggy's Style | December 16, 2012, 07:16Le C.,
me too.
Posted by mmkng | December 16, 2012, 08:09MMKng,
Absolutely. I might even rub myself on the computer screen before sending you the card.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:23Le C.,
Hilarious! Thanks.
Posted by mmkng | December 16, 2012, 08:45Leo,
You did indeed…Expect your card anytime soon.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:22This is divine… Really.
I will now have this song in my head all day… It is dedicated to you. “He is dangerous, dangerous!! That man is in town right now to whip up some support. A rabble rousing mission that I think we must abort. He is dangerous!!!”
Posted by Kelly | December 16, 2012, 07:42Kelly,
Does this mean you want a card?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:24Le Clown / Eric,
You’re pretty cute………but not that cute.
Mark
Posted by ridicuryder | December 16, 2012, 07:47Ridicuryder,
Cute is for teddy bears…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:26LeClown
Teddy Bears can be great spirit guides beyond secular or jocular realms……….
RidicuRyder
Posted by ridicuryder | December 16, 2012, 12:09You are a true Chritmas miracle, Le Clown.
Posted by The Hook | December 16, 2012, 08:32The Hook,
That’s what I keep on telling myself… But White Baby Jesus doesn’t want to share his hay crib with me, and he is keeping all the myrrh to himself… Bastard child.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:34Those bobbleheads are going to give me nightmares. I’ll take an e-card instead, excuse me, a magnificent™ e-card
Posted by MissFourEyes | December 16, 2012, 08:43Miss Four Eyes,
One secular holiday e-card coming your way, dear friend.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:46Yay! I was just about to email you
Posted by MissFourEyes | December 16, 2012, 08:46MFY,
Email me anyway as I have something to ask you…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 08:47I’ve said this before: Fuck Christmas.
But you’re making this sort of tasty by adding the secular touch, takes the child molesters out of the gift wrapping….
Uhm, did I have a point?
I guess not.
Posted by TAE | December 16, 2012, 09:28TAE,
You did. Your point was: Sending me a fucking SECULAR card, Le Clown. You make this fun.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 09:31If the rapture comes, I am so ratting you out.
Posted by saradraws | December 16, 2012, 10:05The Ringmistress,
As long as ratting Le Clown out gives him more spotlight, exposure, and visibility.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 10:08Sara, The Ringmistress,
it will surely be taken as it is: Le C. wanting to be remembered for eternity. And if/when he gets to be really famous, his personalized cards shall cost a fortune. Then you’ll be rich
and we will also be.
Posted by mmkng | December 16, 2012, 12:22Looky you, talking sense. I think you’re on to something.
Posted by saradraws | December 18, 2012, 11:48Le Clown,
A Secular Xmas e-card from you would make this sordid ritual endurable.
A particularly vile personalization might inspire me to forward it to all my friends and family who abandoned free thought and signed on to common ritualistic beliefs.
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 16, 2012, 10:08Red,
I’ll take this as a yes please.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 10:10Le Clown,
You are pretty AND brilliant!
Red
Posted by SocietyRed | December 16, 2012, 10:16Only Le Clown! Magnificent™!
Posted by faithhopechocolate | December 16, 2012, 10:19Faith,
Le Clown would like to let you know that he doesn’t mean to offend you. He does indeed enjoy sparking discussions, though. Speaking of, I am trying to get the Westboro Baptist Church interested in my ecard, but somehow, they are not responding… I need to work harder at it, I guess.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 10:29I think the problem with Westboro is that they have had their sense of humour gland surgically removed. They call it “baptism” but it’s actually surgery… (I’d wink but you’re allergic.)
Posted by faithhopechocolate | December 16, 2012, 10:30Faith,
Thank you for getting me. I mean this.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 10:34You know what I want for xmas? A blog post where you redo cheesy erotica titles. I’m looking at your card, and I’m wondering, what would he come up with fro A Tale of Two Clitties? That’s the only ridiculous title I have. There are lots of them out there though.
The graphics element of your blog is great though. I really enjoy your work, and the people you invite on here. Once I’m done reading this book I have on graphic design (white space is not your enemy) I’m coming back here to apply the things I’ve learned.
Also, I think a friend of mine had custom Bobbleheads made of her and her husband for their wedding.
Merry goddamn holidays!
Posted by antoinettemsmut | December 16, 2012, 10:22Antoinette,
That could be an interesting project for 2013. I had promised myself to not talk about sex on my blog, but I often speak out of my ass. In the meantime, would you like an ecard?
Le Clown
PS: If you need pointers with graphic design, let Le Clown know.
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 10:26This is a genius idea.
Posted by Jen and Tonic | December 16, 2012, 16:12You’re also a fan off Sacha Baron Cohen? I suggest we cuddle up in our adidas sweat suits and watch all of his marvelous work! If you’re
gayup for it..
Posted by Daan van den Bergh | December 16, 2012, 11:10Oh, and i want an e card. As the founding father of the church of Le clown I think I deserve a very special card
Posted by Daan van den Bergh | December 16, 2012, 11:26Daan,
I will even take a picture of myself working on your very own special secular e-card.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 13:31If only I had known about this sooner. I could have saved myself countless hours in the mall fighting other Christmas shoppers for overpriced presents that won’t be appreciated.
This would please EVERYONE on my list.
Posted by twindaddy | December 16, 2012, 11:20TwinDaddy,
It’s never too late, buddy. I’ll send two your way, or may be one, and a digitized photocopy of another one.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 13:30Le Clown,
You know just how to make all of my holiday dreams come true. Thank you so much for your generosity.
Twindaddy
Posted by twindaddy | December 16, 2012, 15:31Oh my, I’m not sure I”m worthy of such a prize. Really, I would have to print it out and have it framed and set it on my desk, I just am all a flutter just thinking about it.
Posted by JackieP | December 16, 2012, 11:55Jackie,
So I’m taking this as a yes?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 13:28well damn did I forget to say that?? See in all your glory you got me befuddled. YES! of course.
Posted by JackieP | December 16, 2012, 13:31Le Clown,
It would be an honour to receive a card from you. You are so kind. I’m enjoying your holiday spirit.
Amy
Posted by The Bumble Files | December 16, 2012, 13:12Amy,
It will be a message of love and peace for you, of course.
Much love my friend,
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 13:28Le Clown,
Thank you. That’s just what I need. See, you knew, and I didn’t even need to tell you. You’re the best.
Amy
xoxo
Posted by The Bumble Files | December 16, 2012, 13:36Sweet balls indeed!!
Posted by vyvacious | December 16, 2012, 13:24V,
A card you will receive!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 13:27Yay!
Posted by vyvacious | December 16, 2012, 14:26Shweet baaalls! Your friends at Westboro Baptist Church — ahaha!! There a friend to everyone, a friend to everyone indeed… With friends like these, who needs satan, White Baby Jesus, or even Kap’n Krunch for that matter — bahaha!
Posted by Sandee | December 16, 2012, 14:17Auntie Sandee,
And I have a special message for my friends here!
I’m sure you’d have a great deal to tell them too…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 14:19I NEED YOUR CARDS IN MY LIFE
Posted by Jen and Tonic | December 16, 2012, 16:13Jen,
My cards just got cooler just by being associated to you.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 17, 2012, 18:07“Jesus™ and Le Clown are tight like a kitten’s anus” < I will never look at a kittens anus in the same way again.
Posted by Hellosailor | December 16, 2012, 16:19Hello Sailor,
Kittens’s anus of the world: Unite.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 19:58I don’t know why, but I am actually both shocked and saddened. What fucking assholes to actually picket and make such claims.
Posted by Tin Woman | December 16, 2012, 19:25Tin Woman,
It’s shocking and saddening because it’s a fucking saddening and shocking gesture by the WBC.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 16, 2012, 19:53True
Posted by Tin Woman | December 16, 2012, 19:57Sweet balls! Christmas came early!
Posted by Lyssapants | December 16, 2012, 20:11Lyssa,
Damn fucking right.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 17, 2012, 17:43The WBC sounds like a one-horse open sleigh… everyone all the same, merrily and obliviously singing along. No one knows the words, but who cares.
It’s sad and tragic that people like this still exist. Really? REALLY? I think they need a Le Clown xmas card of love.
PS I’ve sent in my email request for a card, in case this comment was not obvious enough. Actually I didn’t even ask for a card in this comment, so it was not obvious. So there. I proved to myself I was confusing.
Posted by iRuniBreathe | December 16, 2012, 22:32Quinoa,
A card you shall receive! Don’t forget to put some milk and cookies for me close to the chimney.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 17, 2012, 18:11Le Clown,
Do you want gluten free cookies and non-dairy milk?
Thank ye for the card.
Q.
Posted by iRuniBreathe | December 17, 2012, 18:52I am not too late am I? Please and thank you.
Posted by becca3416 | December 17, 2012, 09:39Becca,
I should send yours on a velvet card, wrapped on seal pups skin. With proper postage of course.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 17, 2012, 17:43I just had an orgasm reading the posts…you sexy clown and clown cult maniacs. Have a happy ending !
Posted by Clandestine Cuba | December 17, 2012, 14:44CC,
As we say here on ACOF, every day is fucking magical.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 17, 2012, 17:41WANT!
Will leave cheesecake, GHB laced- snickerdoodles and egg nog near the chimney Le Santa.
Love, Puppies and Fucking Sunshine,
Some Neurotic Bi(polar) Fabulous Serial Killer in Reno
ps: I shot a man in Reno… just to watch him die
Posted by Rachael Black | December 19, 2012, 21:42Rachael,
With pleasure! Fuck yeah.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | December 19, 2012, 21:43this will bring my xmas card total up to 4. you just increased my holiday popularity by 33%. go me!
Posted by rich | December 20, 2012, 10:31