Happy Sunday to you all! I want to thank our esteemed host, Mr. Le Clowny Pants for inviting me to guest host his very esteemed Le Clowny Pants blog.
Some of you may know that I have totally bastardized the Haiku over at The Cheeky Diva. Every Thursday, I host Thursday Haiku Madness. A wacky, madcap event where one and all are welcome to hurl their terrible haikus upon the horrified eyes of unsuspecting readers after being inspired by my abominations of Le art form of haiku.
After seeing how I reduce this simple yet complex form of poetry to sheer nonsensical drivel, I guess Le Clown thought it would be fun to embarrass me in front of the whole world by allowing me to do it here~and I am eternally grateful.
Here at Le ClownVille, things are a bit more organized and structured than they are in my neck of the woods. Le Clown has asked me to reign myself in just a little bit, and sent moi a photo for L’inspiration. So, here is the photo:
GAAAAHH! I know! It’s horrifying! Just tell me how THAT is supposed to inspire poetry! Well, if I can write a funny post about men’s health, I can certainly find poetic inspiration from this photo that I wish I could unsee. I only write haikus, because they are easy and can be dumb. Perfect for me! You may wax poetic about this picture anyway you like, as long as your replies are poetry…. or poems. Them’s the rules, folks.
Okay, deep breath….on with Le Haiku!
WORST HAIRCUT EVER!
You are such a stupid bitch!
I won’t pay for this
************************
Daddy is asleep
Run his razor cross his head
Funny joke mommy
************************
Oh the shock and awe
That Le Clown inspires in us
What a handsome guy!
************************
Sacrificed his hair
To make Movember Moustache?
Can we see it please?
************************
Hey there little girl
Don’t let the big van scare you
Do you like candy?
~Okay, your turn!
If you are going to click on my blog to get to know me better, please start here.
glad to see another
who waxes lyrics strangely for
horrible photos
There once was a man from the sticks
whose hair was all luscious and thick
his brother was jealous
so took up his scissors
and chopped it all down to the wick.
Posted by scienerf | November 11, 2012, 07:41lovely poem that!
You have my eternal thanks
That’s one BAD haircut!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 07:45Le Clown’s cool hair style
aiming for Krusty the Clown
needs to grow a bit
Blue Suzy wonders
what photo I’ll get next week
I’m slightly nervous
Posted by Suzy Blue | November 11, 2012, 08:04No need to worry
I’m sure it will be awful
Cringe-worthy no doubt
I must stop and say~
Le Clown is a gracious host
He made this easy
For a rube like me
from the middle of nowhere
Very helpful clown
Answered all questions
in a wise and caring way
He’s got your back girl
Cant wait for your post
good luck and have fun with it
what a wild ride!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 08:08Terrible hair cut
Wolverine he is sure not
Still he is cool dude
Posted by boomiebol | November 11, 2012, 08:16Wish I had a prize
To give you for that comment!
Wolverine indeed!
(funny) -oops
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 08:18Normally I leave dirty haikus. My kitty took one look at that picture, and she’s scared–she’s hiding.
That face! Please just stop.
For the love of god, smile.
I can take the hair.
Posted by antoinettemsmut | November 11, 2012, 08:56I don’t know what’s worse
The hair or the creepy look
Shocking both, be they
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 09:01That last line needs a hearty, “Ar!”
Posted by antoinettemsmut | November 11, 2012, 09:54I must take a break
go to the dreaded walmart
damn famly needs food
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 10:01How to punk a clown
What horror could bring him down?
Dog doo on his crown.
(That is how to spell ‘doo’, as in ‘hair-doo’, right?
Well, perhaps I’ll get bonus points for rhyming….)
Posted by humanTriumphant | November 11, 2012, 09:38Bonus points to you!
for rhyming AND for dog doo
poop is funny stuff
(groan -I do what I can)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 09:44Bozo haircut sans
Red nose, large collar, grin,
White face and red hair.
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | November 11, 2012, 10:02Thank you for your words!
He’s quite a handsome fellow!
Gotta love that ‘do!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 10:58Le Clown’s hair goofy
To encourage men to get
Quick finger exam
Leave soon for road trip
Didn’t want to miss Haiku
Off to woo-woo land
Posted by SocietyRed | November 11, 2012, 10:28You are such a peach!
Now go get your hippie on!
don’t sneak any booze.
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 11:00His hair so funny
scares even a bunny
another grade zero man
Posted by Bruce Ruston | November 11, 2012, 11:12People Magazine
Next “Sexiest Man Alive”
Highly doubtful…ppppffffttt!
(NIce one by the way!)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 11:14That,s not going to work
and laughing I am can’t stop
pass brown paper bag
Posted by Bruce Ruston | November 11, 2012, 11:17Thank you so much friend
Does that mean you have to puke?
Compliment I guess?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 11:18Mr. Jingeling
Soon hair will be Christmas white
Keeper of the keys
(Google it.)
Proud of friend, Diva
So cute with nose and moustache
Squealing with delight
Posted by Maddie Cochere | November 11, 2012, 11:35Shucks and Gawrsh and Junk
Honored by my author pal
She writes real stuff folks!
Thanks for stopping by
How goes the NaNoWriMo?
I’m getting good at this!
The 5 7 5
Rolls right off my fingertips
(When I count with them)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 11:40Screwed five up last week
Counted properly this time
Fingers no fail now
NaNoWriMo fun
Gorilla head and zombies
Susan freaking out
Posted by Maddie Cochere | November 11, 2012, 11:53She’s a cheeky one
Pink shoelaces and hot car
Gotta love that gal~
Always in trouble
Bad guys always on her tail
They can’t get her down
With her fashion sense
And her sense of other kinds
Always cracks the case
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:03See you later, alligator!
Posted by Maddie Cochere | November 11, 2012, 12:05Some kind of mullet
Party on the sides
Asleep on top.
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | November 11, 2012, 12:15Don’t bag on mullet
classic men’s hairstyle for sure
my man still sports one
(ewww)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:32so sorry to hear
I’ve coiffed hair for near 6 years
he must be some kind a man!
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | November 11, 2012, 12:48Oh good lord I jest!
No man of MINE wear mullet!!!!!
My guy “righteous dude”
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:57sweat wiped from brow
mission complete
no man nor beast should have such a feat!!
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | November 11, 2012, 12:59Lucky woman, I
husband so very handsome
he could pull off bald!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:07Please, be not afraid
Appears I’ve just escaped, but
It’s only me: Le
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | November 11, 2012, 12:37Didn’t recognize
Silly Movember “Perv Stash”
Way with words you have
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:49Honored you read that
Note how Haiku makes Yoda
Of every one here
and:
Foolish and cheeky
To use emoticon here
He will find us now
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | November 11, 2012, 12:55Channel Yoda yes,
I do it every Thursday!
No try only do!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:04Love me some Haiku
Thinking in rhymes whole day through
Haiku-rhyme I do
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | November 11, 2012, 12:42I do the same thing
can’t get them out of my head
finger count all day!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:48Messes up my head
With that and NaNoWriMo
Fingers have thick pads
Posted by talesfromthemotherland | November 11, 2012, 12:51NaNoWriMo wow!
Are you one of “those people”
“real writers” I mean
I applaud your work
Here’s to 50,000 words
I wish you the best!
Thanks for stopping by!
for a goofy little break
Now get back to work!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:59MY Haiku contribution is NOT about Le Clown, but another less famous Clown:
Donald Trumps hair
His voice too a travesty
Please shut the fuck up
Posted by Dianne Wing | November 11, 2012, 12:43Donald Trump must be
Like Facebook Ice Cream Cone Head
Equally creepy
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 12:51Music to my ears
This haiku eloquently
Sings words of wisdom.
Posted by Le Clown | November 11, 2012, 12:53Good day Mr. Clown!
What an active crowd you have!
I can scare keep up!
Laundry goes undone
My family wants to be fed
Damn needy bastards!
The show must go on!
The Le Clown Bar Is so high!
Hope I measure up.
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:02I am still basking
Mashed potato afterglow
Swimming in butter
Posted by Madame Weebles | November 11, 2012, 13:12Did you see it dear?
I put you on my new page!
Sally Field I am
Sniff Sniff!!!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:14I just saw it, Yay!
So many people like you
They really like you!
Posted by Madame Weebles | November 11, 2012, 13:32I want to do more
formatting “Pages” sucks ass!
It will come in time
What a busy day!
Have a lot more work to do
Monday approaches
Romantic Monday
The Romance of a lifetime
next chapter awaits
Will I get it done?
Will the first date be a fail?
Dash and Judy *sigh*
The starcrossed lovers
Share their first romantic kiss?
Better write it, huh?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:37Le Clown so dashing
I know it will be smashing
when Tiny Geek finishes
Posted by The Bumble Files | November 11, 2012, 13:45Chicks do dig Le Clown
He’s such a handsome fellow!
Creepy face and all
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 13:51Oh dear, I cheated
Finishes one syllable?
I will visit you!
Posted by The Bumble Files | November 11, 2012, 16:28I’m not a stickler
for the syllables and such
just glad you dropped by
Visit me you say!
How thrilled I’ll be to see you
thank you kindly, dear.
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 16:35I don’t write Haiku
I don’t write Haiku like you
I don’t write poo-poo
Brilliant. Notify Mr. Pulitzer.
Posted by robincoyle | November 11, 2012, 14:37Brilliant it is! NOT!
Stick to marbles, honey child
Boo boo, not poo poo
(Oy! which one’s worse?)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 14:40Movember blaze
Hair is over-rated
The Cheeky Diva rocks
Posted by Lady Lovely | November 11, 2012, 14:55“Cheeky Diva rocks”
Hmmmmm…. I like the sound of that!
What else can I say?
Dear Lady Lovely
So kind of you to drop by
Pleasure to meet you
A fan of Le Clown?
I have no doubt. Who isn’t?
Hotness that he is.
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 15:07The pleasure is mine
A fan of Le Clown
And my fellow bloggers too
Thank you for posting
Your words on Haiku
And the awesome Le Clown
An enjoyable read
For days to come
Laughing all the day long
Posted by Lady Lovely | November 11, 2012, 16:16Haikus since the dawn
I’m one old tired Diva
Almost out of words
Many miles to go
“Romantic Monday” to write
Can she do it? Ugh!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 16:19Find strength in your words
Let the miles turn to stone
You’re in the free zone
Take a well deserved break
Go have some cake
And save me some
Posted by Lady Lovely | November 11, 2012, 16:22No rest for the weird
watch a movie while I type
Braveheart, then dinner
And then Chapter 4
Of Dash and Judy’s story
Has to be put down
I hope you join us
for the big day for romance
sweet, steamy, awesome!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 16:32Sure, sure, haiku time
You did well fellow blogger
But that pic scared me…
Posted by No Blog Intended | November 11, 2012, 15:36Can’t blame me for that!
I am not responsible
Bad haikus are mine
Pic that stopped the clock
Self portrait of your fine host
I had to comply
Hard it was to do
with such a horrific start
But, press on I did
Think we did okay
Mr Clowny pants and I
pic and words combined
what fun we’ve had here
laughing at our poor Le Clown
He’s such a good sport!
(Thanks!)
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 15:48Okay, this is not my creation, I heard it years ago, but I thought it fits perfectly for this.
There was an old man from Peru
Who found he had nothing to do
So he sat on the stairs
And counted his hairs
And found he had seventy two
Posted by Storkhunter | November 11, 2012, 15:36Bet Le Clown has less
I heard he uses that spray
Toupee In A Can
Thanks for the limerick!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 15:50Ha ha!! I love it! Ok– let’s see what happens here:
Your head is fuzzy
Different strokes for different folks
Time for a faux-hawk
—–
eh.
I tried
Posted by Pigeon Heart | November 11, 2012, 15:46Nice!
Nice fuzzy head man
Can I rub it for good luck?
Two bucks? Nevermind
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 15:51haa!
Posted by Pigeon Heart | November 11, 2012, 18:12rhymes are not my gig
make a stab at commenting
well, that’s it, I’m done
Posted by Margarita | November 11, 2012, 15:55bravo kind stranger!
self proclaimed haiku maven
is duly impressed.
Like, for real! Nice one!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 15:57Cheeky Diva.
I love her.
She’s Cheeky.
XO, Michele / wakeuptired.com
Posted by Michele | November 11, 2012, 16:13You kinda broke the rules
but who gives a shit?
Love you right back!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 16:16I’m a rebel!
Xo, Michele
Posted by Michele | November 11, 2012, 16:47Tee hee and all that junk
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 17:29Funny haircut le clown
Aimed for sexy but
got Julius Caesar hair
Posted by writerwendyreid | November 11, 2012, 20:48Nice poem Wendy
You don’t think Caesar was hot?
Le Clown is hotter?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 20:56Joachim Phoenix yes
Le clown hot? Uh..no
Maybe to the blind he is
hehehe
Posted by writerwendyreid | November 11, 2012, 21:06With hair not so bad
I’m sure he’s quite a charmer
He has a nice smile?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 21:58Photo inspires fear
Piercing eyes and wings of hair
Now sleep will not come
Posted by Blogless wonder | November 11, 2012, 21:54You’re right about that!
Not very photogenic
Take Nyquil my friend
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 22:00Thanks to Mr Le Clown and all of his wonderful readers. This has been such a fantastic day. Never in my life did I think I would be able to say ” I wrote 67 verses of Haiku today! ” Not something on my bucket list, but not too shabby. Thanks for playing everyone, and for stopping by my place, to see what I can do other than stupid haikus! Keep on writing those poems about Le Clown’s new head shot, but I must go to bed. I would be happy to reply to your kind comments on the morrow if you will allow me to do so. Have a wonderful evening! The Cheeky Diva.
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 22:08I once went to a cutter
Who shaved me with butter
A slip of the shears
Nearly brought me to tears
I looked like I came from the gutter…
Posted by Adam S | November 11, 2012, 22:47He who give scissors
To a young sense of humor
Get a bad haircut
Posted by Adam S | November 11, 2012, 22:51Hello there Adam
Glad you exercised your Right
To Bitch here for us
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 12, 2012, 09:28Only one man could
Pull off such a daring cut
The reverse mohawk
Posted by becca3416 | November 12, 2012, 14:30That is Le Clown, no?
The man can rock any style
Next time a mullet?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 12, 2012, 15:18Overshot the mark:
“A little off the top, please”
Lets put on a hat
Posted by Lyssapants | November 12, 2012, 15:15Nice one Lyssapants!
A hat is good for this cut
Or maybe a bag?
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 12, 2012, 15:17Prodigy flashback
Are you a firestarter?
Smack my razor up
Posted by braintomahawk | December 24, 2012, 20:37Thanks for the linkback!
Posted by thecheekydiva | November 11, 2012, 11:00