Feast your peepers on the QWERTY clusterfuck that is the daily exchange between Weebs and Le Clown.
LC: Hey, Weebles… Want to write a post about our email exchanges?
MW: Sure, why the fuck not, Le Clown?
LC: There goes the Freshly Pressed nod…
MW: Suck it, Clown. We’ve both been FP’d already. But I’ll probably never be chosen for a Daily Post with my potty mouth. So you’ll always be more famous.
LC: For starters, it’s Le Clown, Weebs. And Le Clown is King of Fucking Everything. Just ask my kids: “Clown Dad is a real buffoon—he rules the kingdom of poopoo heads”.
MW: That’s true, I saw them using your grease paint to write that all over your car, Le Clown.
LC: Speaking of oily-greasy colour, I think I need to drink less coffee, and more water… my urine is as yellow as Homer Simpson’s skin. I’m probably having liver failure. I should check for jaundice.
MW: I think yellow is a good color for you, actually. Very flattering. We should call Tim Gunn and get his thoughts.
“Organ failure is very on trend.”
LC: Have your read Michelle’s latest post on King of States? It’s better than a fart joke.
MW: I read it a little while ago. That woman is FUNNY. I bet the three of us would have a good time meeting for coffee, except for your whole jaundice thing.
LC: New York smells like pee. My jaundice would fit right in.
MW: That’s true. New York’s official nickname is the Big Apple, but did you know that the NYC Tourist Board considered changing it to “The Urinal of the Northeast”? True story.
LC: And here I thought waste management nomenclature was only for the South…
MW: Nope, we’ve got plenty north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hey, have you read Creative Liar? She’s funny as fuck.
LC: Of course she’s hilarious. She has Eric in her name…
MW: Only you would notice this.
LC: Kelly from Excitement on the Side doesn’t have Eric in her name, and she’s fucking brilliant…
MW: It’s so wonderful that you can appreciate bloggers whose names aren’t anagrams of your name. You truly are magnificent.
LC : It’s magnificent™ actually… But obviously:
Kindred
Eric aka
Le Clown, I’m
Learning from
You
MW: Wow. Just…wow. Here’s one that might be safe from your wordsmithing: Maximum Wage. He’s a good one too.
LC: You’re just biased because he doesn’t fall into my 98% VAG readership…
MW: You need to butch up your blog, dude. Seriously. How is your glamorous new office job? What exactly do you do there, anyway, aside from letting them bask in your magnificence™?
LC: I sit in my beautiful office, and bask in my magnificence™ in front of a large window that looks out on Old Montreal… But I do miss the view from my old gig, though…
A view from Le Clown’s old office.
MW: That’s so nice that you had your own personal peep show there. Not all of us are that lucky.
LC: Right… I hear some can see the Hudson River from their window… Hmph.
MW: That’s true. Some are lucky that way.
LC: Weebs, I have to ask you… You’re like the sister I have, but more like I wanted her to be… Geddy Lee. Really? Come on, no one’s reading. This is between us. It’s bullshit, right?
MW: Your sister has a thing for Geddy Lee too?? That’s a weird coincidence. What can I say…he’s an epic bass player and an incredibly talented musician overall, and he makes me swoony. See this photo? It makes me want to do naughty, naughty things to him.
LC: That is my cue out.
MW: You suck, Le Clown.
Brilliantly funny as is your magnificence™
Posted by Bruce Ruston | October 26, 2012, 07:05Bruce,
I had you at “cunnilingus”, didn’t I?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:10I can’t speak for Bruce, but that word usually works for *me.*
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:42ah what a word to ponder on
Posted by Bruce Ruston | October 26, 2012, 11:37Me too Weebly..it’s the only lingus I’m interested in.
Posted by writerwendyreid | October 26, 2012, 20:10Amen, sister.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 23:06Play nicely kids
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 07:12Joe,
You’re right. We should inspire ourselves from the Tottenham versus Arsenal football games.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:14I can’t believe London teams were talked about in Coronation Street
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 08:53That made me laugh out loud, Joe.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:42Don’t tell me you watch it too.
We import fantastic American shows and we give you this, I am sorry.
I was going to write American/Canadian shows but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Canadian one, except Canada’s Next Top Model – does that count
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 10:49But you’ve also given us Dr. Who and the Vicar of Dibley, which I LOVE.
And Canadian television is, sadly, not so impressive.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:52You would like a pub off The Strand, kinda gay, kinda rock n roll, it plays Dr Who on the big screen and woe betide anyone who talks during it.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:04Oooh, I’ll have to check it out next time I come over. Are there any pubs that play Vicar of Dibley, though? Because I think that would be a lot of fun.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:05A vicar of Dibley theme pub. No one has done that.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:25I think I’ve found my new calling. I also am not sure why there are no gay bars or pubs that play Golden Girls and Murder, She Wrote on the big screen.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:27My pub plasy the muppets in the baklground, I like your thinking though.
I was round a friends last night and they had Murder She Wrote on (I knew they would) They also had a glossy mag on their coffee table with Angela Lansbury on the cover looking amazing at 84.
She toyed with the idea of dressing like Jessica Fletcher as an everyday look. Murder she Write chic, she had a point, it would probably work on the desperatly trendy wannabees in Hoxton.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:37Joe,
Things England gave Canada:
1. Coronation Street;
2. The Queen;
3. Fish and chips.
I’m only fond of the third.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:07I agree, though with no Queen my blog would be a few posts lighter.
While we’re at it, I’ll thank Canada for Neil Young and Arcade Fire and that’s it.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:43Sorry, that sounded rude! When I said that’s it, I meant that’s about all I could actually think of on the spot.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:45Joe,
No rudeness perceived. Unless your Gravatar is flipping the bird unbeknownst to us all.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:48Also, no, I have actually never watched Coronation Street. I tried watching East Enders but I needed subtitles so I gave up.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:49You are not missing anything. If you are doing a soap opera then they need to be flawless like on Sunset Beach or Another World.
Posted by joehoover | October 26, 2012, 11:50I will never blog the exchanges that I have with MW…mostly because they would give far too much away. Ha!
This is brilliant, though, and I expected nothing less.
Posted by meizac | October 26, 2012, 07:14Meizac,
You have indeed a privileged relationship with Weebles… and The Ringmistress… And Le Clown… And common sense…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:15Hahaha! “And common sense….”
Posted by meizac | October 26, 2012, 08:43I *wish* we could blog our exchanges, meizac!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:25Of course YOU do. We’d have to find a way to make them PG, though, we know how delicate Le Clown is.
Posted by meizac | October 26, 2012, 10:31Meizac,
Of course. My blog has PG written all over it…
Something like: Phucking Gross.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 10:32True. I’m not sure he could handle our exchanges. He’s dainty.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:32Also, the Hallowe’en costume exchange from the other night still makes me giggle (at least I can breathe now).
Posted by meizac | October 26, 2012, 10:32I was thinking about that yesterday! Those were good times.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:32The Tim Gunn caption made me lol. I love that man. I actually have GUNNS in my family tree. I can’t help but hope I’m related to him.
I love how you’re not willing to believe Weebs has a thing for Geddy Lee. Your inquiry is very delicate, you should be a police detective.
Have a lightly colored urine day!
Grippy
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 26, 2012, 07:41Grippy,
Tim is my man. I’ve been to New York several times, but have yet to stop by the Parsons Institute. But one day, I will make it work…
Le Clown
PS: The caption was from The Ringmistress. Clever, isn’t she?
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:17hahaha! Nice!
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 26, 2012, 09:24Grippy,
Here’s the other caption The Ringmistress had written, which I liked:
Don’t you think jaundice is a little too commercial?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 10:31haha! Both funny, but I like the other one more.
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 26, 2012, 10:51I TOLD YOU!!! Stop trying to make big people decisions on your own, daisy cheeks. That’s what I’m here for.
Posted by saradraws | October 26, 2012, 09:39The Tim Gunn caption elevated this post to a higher level. Clever? Absolutely. Good work, Sara.
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 26, 2012, 10:32Grippy,
Sara is my secret weapon. I am the idea man, and she’s the refiner, the polisher.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 10:38Bless him, he does his best.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:33You said “daisy cheeks.” Thank you.
Posted by Soul Walker | October 26, 2012, 14:12Isn’t that a great caption? I thought it was funny too. Le Clown disagreed. And he really refuses to believe about my thing for Geddy Lee. I would never joke about that.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:27Why can’t he wrap his head around your Geddy Lee love? I’ll have to delve further into this issue of his.
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 26, 2012, 10:34Please do, Grippy. He has deep-seated fears, I’m sure.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:00It’s always pleasant when reading makes me laugh out loud. And an added bonus when I’ve otherwise been quiet and still enough that I scare the shit out of my bird sitting on my shoulder. Great way to end my night.
Posted by Kimberly | October 26, 2012, 07:48Kimberly,
That is a great compliment. Do you actually have bird poo on your shoulder? I hear it’s luck.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:20Bahaha…I didn’t even consider that portion of my comment in the literal sense. But yes, sadly, I do regulary have bird poo on my shoulder. His loving chatter in my ear makes it worth it.
Posted by Kimberly | October 26, 2012, 08:21You have a bird? I must know more! What kind? Macaw? Cockatiel? Other?
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:03What just happened?
Posted by speaker7 | October 26, 2012, 07:50Speaker7,
Here are possible answers:
LMFAO got better.
Rush got prettier.
Vaginas all around the world are crying.
Tim Gunn wonders the same thing.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:23I feel this way after most of my emails with Le Clown, speaker7.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:29The God’s have spoken… and crapped all over this blog…
Posted by Daan van den Bergh | October 26, 2012, 07:56Daan,
I have been referred to as the Messiah, and as a fucking Savior in the past, but never as God per se. Thank you.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 08:47Oh please.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:03Not sure what I just read but it was funny
Posted by Storkhunter | October 26, 2012, 07:58Just an example of our daily email insanity, Storkhunter. Welcome to our world.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:30Stork Hunter,
Isn’t it beautiful? This is what I teach my kids, too.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:07Seems like Le Clown and Le Clownette …. or how about Weebs and Weebster … Meanwhile, this is far better than the Daily Post!
Posted by aFrankAngle | October 26, 2012, 08:03Something tells me that WP would disagree with you there, but as always, thanks, Frank!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:31Of course they would disagree … but hey … what do they know? After all, I’ve only read one DP … but at least it was THE one.
Posted by aFrankAngle | October 26, 2012, 10:35Frank,
If I had renounced to have more kids, I would have asked you to be the mother of my future children.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:08Now there’s a point to ponder.
Posted by aFrankAngle | October 26, 2012, 13:51Ahi na’ma! This is it. Cracked me up like the crackheads in your photo.
Posted by Clandestine Cuba | October 26, 2012, 08:30Ahi na’ma! I haven’t heard that expression in ages. I need to hang with my Cuban friends more.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:34Betty,
These were crackheads in love.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:08This was too funny, it feels like overhearing a convo in the bathroom….or should I say URINALS. Weebs could prolly pee standing up…
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | October 26, 2012, 08:45Speedo,
I don’t know about Weebs… But my wife does…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 09:43ya know…I’ve tried…I found a website (of course) about how to do it and all these women praising the fact they don’t have to wait in line at big events and they just walk up to the urinals and let er rip. LOVE IT. I am not urinatively upright gifted. CHEERS TO THAT WIFE O YOURS!!!!
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | October 26, 2012, 12:32I’ve tried doing that, but I get too distracted by trying to check out the equipment on the guys next to me at the urinals, and then I dribble all over myself.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:36yeah…I went fishing with my dad as a kid and saw all the guys piss on the side of the road and whipped my pants down and pissed right back in them. Penis envy.
Posted by isawbobdylaninaspeedo | October 26, 2012, 12:33Speedo,
I shit your not… All this talk about pee is bringing google traffic with keywords “golden shower”. I am a happy clown.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:53You two and your banter. I agree with Weebs in that NYC smells like pee and also am quite fond of her noting that the city has their more than fair share of it (more so than the South). Obviously, she a woman of travel and astute observation.
Le Clown, should you ever want to visit the South, we’d treat you real good-like, feed you fried stuff, let you observe some of the best blues’ clubs ever and replace your clown shoes with blue suede ones. And, everyone would hi and be real friendly-like without ever taking you anywhere that smelled remotely of pee.
Unless you’re drawn to that particular aroma, we’re just that accommodating.
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 09:51You epitomize Southern hospitality, B.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:37I try Weebs unless I get my Southern dander up, which sometimes happens when I try to catch fish with my hands.
Might i add you epitomize Northern hospitality?
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 10:46Fuckin’ A, Brigitte!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:04Brigitte,
Je love. I will soon publish the post I never ended up doing for Canadica on my blog in not too long (it was just a question of logistic)… The South was my topic. I could have learned a thing or two from you…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:12Why, Le Clown, I can’t -ant waiiit for-a your-a post about that-at.
(that’s southern speak, drawing the words out and making one-syllable words into two syllables ones). Kind of like your Canadian “eh.”
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 14:28Right now, I feel like a voyeur! Reading somebody else’s email while they’re away from their desk. I have a whole new respect for both of you and your magnificence! (I have searched high and low and cannot figure out how to get superscripts on here from my Mac. Sad face but no emoticon).
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 26, 2012, 10:07I’m actually not sure how he did it either, Cathy. I’ll have to peek at the text and see what the code is. Probably something Le Clown invented. He’s clever that way.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:39Yes he is. I’ll keep looking! Somehow, I’ve gotten the reputation of being kind. I was thinking that maybe I should trademark it?
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 26, 2012, 11:15Kind, but also badass, Cathy. And yes, you should TM it.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:26THANK YOU! I like being badass. Just ask Peter…
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 26, 2012, 11:29I’m sure he knows better than anyone!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:31Cathy, you better back off. Everyone knows that I’m the kind one…
In case you don’t realize I’m kidding here’s a smiley face:
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 14:26Okay, you can be kind and I’ll be badass and when we get this superscript thing figured out we can trademark it. Hows that?
Don’t you just love putting smiley faces on Le Clown’s site?
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 26, 2012, 14:31
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 15:06I am TM’ing banter ™, kind ™ and multi-faceted ™.
And this smiley face on Le Clown’s blog: <a href="htt ™
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 15:10LMAO!
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 26, 2012, 15:11Brigitte,
Because it’s you. And because it was funny as shit. Cause shit is funny, apparently. You rock™.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 15:13Bienvenue, Brigitte. ™
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 16:09Cathy,
For superscripts, it’s usually easier if you use the TEXT screen of your post. This is the code:
Le Clown
PS: I am thrilled that Automattic’s Stephane Daury pingbacked your beautiful Ode to the Blogosphere.
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:18I like the way my tongue moves in my mouth when I say “QWERTY clusterfuck.” And I like you two crazy kids!
Posted by La La | October 26, 2012, 10:13I just said “QWERTY clusterfuck” to try it out. You’re right!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:40La La,
Now try this one in French:
Les chaussettes de l’archiduchesse sont-elles sèches ?
Le Clown
PS: …who likes La La.
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:26I tried it, it didn’t go well.
Posted by La La | October 26, 2012, 15:36Why do they have to qualify “urinal” with “of the northeast”? Is there a midwest contender? Do y’all already have a Louisiana Loo or an West Coast Outhouse?
Tim Gun is such a funny guy.
Posted by saradraws | October 26, 2012, 10:19You’ve never been to Los Angeles, have you?
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:41The Glory Hole of California! Yes I have. Saw my very first hooker. I shit you not.
Posted by saradraws | October 26, 2012, 11:33That’s the first place you saw a hooker? I suppose that’s fitting. I still remember seeing my first hooker. I was a kid. It was a tranny hooker. I was with my parents, and I wanted to know who the “lady with the fancy outfit” was. They didn’t really have a good answer for me, as I recall.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:36San Francisco was where I saw my first dead body (though it may have been a passed out body). I grew up in a super small town where people rode Skidoos to work in the winter and our entertainment consisted of kicking over park garbage cans and egging cops at Halloween. Occasional clothesline theft as well. Hookers were very exotic and something out of TV. I was starstruck.
Posted by saradraws | October 26, 2012, 11:54I find you fascinating.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 12:00I fucking love you guys. That is all.
Posted by LKD | October 26, 2012, 10:35And we fucking love you right back, Lorna!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:41I might go all Sally Field now…
Posted by LKD | October 26, 2012, 10:46
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 10:48LKD,
Each time I see your moniker, I am reminded of a U2 song…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:28Pretty cool…and they are my initials.
How many degrees of Kevin Bacon is that?
Posted by LKD | October 26, 2012, 12:43Yeah yeah , you two fucking rock. Also, you have a 98% VAG readership? I think thats a lot of VAG. One might even say 98%. Also the Tim Gunn quote might be taken out of context.
Posted by MaximumWage | October 26, 2012, 10:52Maximum Wage,
98% of a magnificent™ vag readership, that is. Would you care to make it 97.8%?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:03.2 % increase in wang readership? Fine, I guess I’ll just have to make it a sausage fest in here.
Posted by MaximumWage | October 26, 2012, 11:05Please do, Max.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:29It’s a lot of VAG, Max. It’s like an estrogen festival in here. I have to go back to my own blog to butch up again.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:06HAHAHAHA… The ole butch level’s getting low. Better butch up.
Posted by MaximumWage | October 26, 2012, 11:07Madame Weebles,
So when you talk about butching up again on your blog, you mean having tea with your readers? Nothing like a good ol’ cup of Earl Grey to kick those testosterone levels up…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:11See these guys? These are British commandos from WWII. They kicked Nazi ass all over Western Europe. They’re drinking tea here. If you want to tell them they don’t have massive amounts of testosterone, feel free.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to knit some camouflage tea cosies.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:20Weebles,
Tea my ass. They only reason they kicked ass is because they were all drunk on Sherry.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:31My e-mail has Eric written all over it. Literally. You have taken over.
Couldn’t agree with y’all more about those blogs though.
Posted by becca3416 | October 26, 2012, 10:53I learned about Maximum Wage through you, Becca, and I’m glad!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:07That makes my insides feel a good temperature.
Posted by becca3416 | October 26, 2012, 11:40It’s nice feeling warm toasty fuzzies, isn’t it?
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:42Feels like a heating blanket is cradling my heart.
Posted by becca3416 | October 26, 2012, 11:43Becca,
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:38You would.
Posted by becca3416 | October 26, 2012, 13:51I love you guys. There, I said it.
Also, this:
Posted by The Waiting | October 26, 2012, 11:01I might be the only person in the country who hasn’t watched Portlandia. But this is pretty funny. Maybe I’ll tune in for this season. Thanks, Emily!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:22Weebles,
Portlandia is brilliant! I mean, Joanna Newsom pwned? Who wouldn’t enjoy that…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:24I really do have advanced Crone’s. I didn’t know who Joanna Newsom was until I clicked on your link.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:33You two are great, though Madame Weebles is greater. Because she invited us all to tea. That’s a lot of fucking tea.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:20Alice,
Madame Weebles is magnificent™, even though her tea party had a major kick in the balls of my Session on the Couch with Le Clown soon-to-be launched feature. She was faster, props for that. And respect. Back to the drawing board.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:22But I was wearing my Mrs. Peel catsuit while I kicked that idea in the balls, so I have that going for me.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:23Weebs,
John Steed drinks tea. Ms. Peel will go for champagne, or cocktails. Hmph.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:27HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:29Le Clown,
How do you make the TM tiny thingy by magnificent? I want to TM some words also. And what kind of session on the couch is this? Does Sara know?
Alice
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:25Alice,
I’m sorry, I have trademarked trademark™.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:29That’s true. I tried using TM myself and I got a warning letter from the US Patent and Trade Office.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:31Weebs,
That’s right. And you know what resides above the US Patent and Trade Office? Le Clown’s fucking Kingdom of Everything™.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:33Le Clown,
Alice has now trademarked Le Clown.™ Sorry.
Alice™
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:34Alice☠,
Le Clown® is registered and cannot be trademarked.
Le Clown
PS: You are a few steps away from banishment from my fucking Kingdom of Everything™.
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 11:39Le Clown®,
Is that a skull and crossbones by my name? Does it make me a pirate? Because that would be cool. Arghh.
Alice
PS: You could never banish me. Then it would be the fucking Kingdom of Everything but Alice™ and no fun at all.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:42Watch your step, Alice. He’s not kidding.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:30No shit, Alice. Do you know how hard it is to find a tea pot big enough to hold tea for 100 people?
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 11:23You could always water it down like they do soft drinks.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:26Wait that wouldn’t help the size of the tea pot . . .
Posted by aliceatwonderland | October 26, 2012, 11:26GEDDY LEE! That is all.
Posted by Jen and Tonic | October 26, 2012, 12:35Jen,
No.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 12:39YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Wow. I feel so sleepy and relaxed now.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:17Never in my life have I been so flattered to not represent 100% of a man’s daily vag. I need to ponder this. I am not sure how I feel about it. Although it is nice to feel like part of a community of vag. Perhaps this is why young women join sororities, to be part of a collective vag.
Posted by Kelly | October 26, 2012, 12:59Kelly,
“Never in my life have I been so flattered to not represent 100% of a man’s daily vag.” -> Best quote of the day?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 13:05It’s not like I can even pretend you have 10 readers. I’m not even 9.8% of your vag. This is tough to swallow. Heh.
Posted by Kelly | October 26, 2012, 13:15Hmm, I feel like I need to wash my mind out after that. Or at least recalibrate it…
Posted by Carrie Rubin | October 26, 2012, 13:03Just go with the flow, Carrie. Let it wash over you like a soothing bath…
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:22Yeah, right. I know what kind of ‘showers’ Le Clown has written about. I don’t think I want that washing over me any time soon…
Posted by Carrie Rubin | October 26, 2012, 13:23Ew.™
Posted by Brigitte | October 26, 2012, 16:06Sorry to be so gross. Then again, your mind took you there…
Posted by Carrie Rubin | October 26, 2012, 16:45I am a proud member of your 98% vaginess, but I do have bigger balls than most dudes, so that must count for something.
Posted by Lyssapants | October 26, 2012, 13:06Lyssa,
It does. But. I like to say that ova weigh more than testicles. Wear them proudly, I say.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 13:08And I only have one, so it’s like my ovarian badge of honor.
Posted by Lyssapants | October 26, 2012, 13:09You email each other EVERY day?
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | October 26, 2012, 13:13SSG,
It’s more like “when don’t we email one another”…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 13:15Exactly. If we don’t hear from each other, we worry that one of us has been abducted by aliens.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:18Ah. Cool
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | October 26, 2012, 13:32Le Clown and Madame,
Fuck, you guys are funny! Do you think you can do this everyday? Because then I would be laughing all day. Do you think you can make it happen? It would mean the world to me. Oh, please.
TBF
Posted by The Bumble Files | October 26, 2012, 13:24Whassup, Bumble?? We do email every day, so I suppose we could turn this into a series. Books of correspondence are popular, maybe we could turn this into an epistolary masterpiece. Or something.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:45Well, yes! You could do this!! This possibilities are endless.
Posted by The Bumble Files | October 26, 2012, 13:47Weebs and TBF,
An everyday recount of our emails might reveal too much… I mean, do I really want to tell everyone that I watch America’s Next Top Model? Even if Nigel Barker, Jay Manuel and Miss J have been fired?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 13:47You wouldn’t want to do that. It would be embarrassing.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:49“Funny as fuck” is my confirmation name! Weirdsies! And you two excite me more than JTT ever did back in the sixth grade. That’s some hardcore respect.
Posted by Creative Liar | October 26, 2012, 13:39Now I never met this JTT, but I’m going to assume that he was bitchin’ fine. I had a feeling “Funny as fuck” might be your confirmation name. I wanted to have that as my confirmation name but the Monsignor frowned upon that. So instead he suggested “There’s something really fucking wrong with you” as my confirmation name.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:51JTT = ’90′s TV heart throb who I was supposed to marry until my husband took a giant piss on those plans. Oh well, at least he knits me sweaters.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001795/
So you’re Catholic, too? It’s all starting to make sense now…
Posted by Creative Liar | October 26, 2012, 13:55Ohhhh, THAT JTT! Now I’m down. He was a little after my time, so I wasn’t hip to his particular charms. And yes, Le Clown and I are both VERY lapsed Catholics. Can you tell?
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 13:57Thanks for this JTT blast from the past, for he was the only one for me, and he even knitted me sweaters in my mind.
Good thing Le Clown and Weeb’s hilariousness also keep me warm at night.
Posted by Lyssapants | October 26, 2012, 15:13I was reading this on my iPhone on my way home and was giggling in the streets, if they look at me weird cuz I’m the only one wearing shorts now the looks increased, but at least they got off my way. Was this over gchat? Gchat at work is the best way to make those 8 hours worth.
NYC smells like pee and pretzels, that’s true.
Posted by Doggy's Style | October 26, 2012, 14:29This wasn’t via Gchat, actually, just old-fashioned email! And soon NYC will smell like pee, pretzels and roasted peanuts. Good times.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 14:49If they only made scented candles like that, Yankee Candles “I <3 NYC". That would be a best seller.
Posted by Doggy's Style | October 26, 2012, 14:50You may just have a million-dollar idea there, Leo.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 14:52I would also do the NJ Candle, that’d be really ..interesting?
Posted by Doggy's Style | October 26, 2012, 15:54Sulfur, sewage, and chemical waste. Mmmmmmm!
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 16:01Oh, you had me until the end there. No one has a thing for Geddy Lee. You’ve got to stay in the realm of possibility if you want it to seem real.
Posted by The Byronic Man | October 26, 2012, 14:34My dear Mr. Byronic Man, surely you’re not calling me a liar, are you? Anyone can say that a vapid pretty boy is hot. It takes no brains to do that. But Geddy? He’s the real deal, man.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 14:40It’s taken me this long to wake up and realize that Le Clown and Madame Weebles have created a new tab in Word Press – Freshly X’ed.
He-mail versus Fe-mail can be the first X’change.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | October 26, 2012, 14:39You’re a fucking genius, Curmudgeon. I love you.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 14:41C-a-L,
Would that mean that I could use the word “peen” as often as a Tour de France cyclist uses steroids?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 14:43Yes, but overuse may require you to return all uses of ‘peen’ along with any awards and prize money.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | October 26, 2012, 14:52heehee – poopoo heads
Posted by Maddie Cochere | October 26, 2012, 15:30Maddie,
Poopoo heads and golden showers… There goes A Clown on Fire.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 18:57Great sites that you mentioned here – thanks.
Posted by jayne ayres | October 26, 2012, 16:41Jayne,
Great women bloggers indeed… Even the one with the penis.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 18:49I’ll have to search for that one.
Posted by jayne ayres | October 26, 2012, 21:38These exchanges could become the next Bathroom reader series. Watch out, Uncle John!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 26, 2012, 17:22Denise,
I don’t think we can share more… Next thing you’ll know, you’ll be aware of all my secrets, and you’d think we’re Facebook friends, or something…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 18:35There are things I just don’t want to know…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 26, 2012, 19:47Hahahahahahahahaahahahaa. I like that view from your old office.
Posted by Nicole Marie | October 26, 2012, 18:02Nicole,
That was taken during my first week there. They visited the back alley often, and after having sex just down my window, would sleep just there…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 18:32I still find it obnoxious that he kept his pants on while she’s stark naked.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 19:50Geddy Lee is awesome, but he isn’t dead, so he’ll never make one of Weebs’s lists. Try John Entwistle on for size. If a bass were a sledge hammer, that’s the way he played it.
Posted by legionwriter | October 26, 2012, 22:44You are brilliant, Legion.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 23:06Did you read that, Le Clown? Legion knows that Geddy is awesome.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 26, 2012, 23:10Weebles,
Geddy is indeed awesome. Just fucking ugly.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 26, 2012, 23:23Dude, you are just fucking flat-out funny. “Clown Dad is a real buffoon—he rules the kingdom of poopoo heads”. <— I can't stop laughing at this one-liner. Once again, I bow to Le Clown's ego…
Posted by Adam S | October 26, 2012, 23:26Adam,
Speaking of being funny, have you perfected your Le Clown Halloween costume?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 27, 2012, 08:13I am wearing it now and admiring yourself in the mirror
Posted by Adam S | October 27, 2012, 08:17Adam,
Be careful. You might become pregnant.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 27, 2012, 08:17I took a pregnancy test today, so far I am not pregnant Le Clown
Posted by Adam S | October 27, 2012, 18:41Adam,
You pulled away from the mirror before your ego exploded, didn’t you?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 27, 2012, 18:42yes, you did
Posted by Adam S | October 27, 2012, 18:42This takes me back to school where I always felt I wasn’t funny enough to fit in with the cool kids! It’s not cool to wet your pants from laughing either…is it?
Posted by jiltaroo | October 28, 2012, 01:50Just about the yellow? Cut down on the damn coffee. I need someone to co-suffer with me!
Posted by workspousestory | October 29, 2012, 05:12I am both awed and traumatized by this post.
Posted by H.E. ELLIS | October 29, 2012, 12:12Reasurring to know that you’re both really bonkers rather than just pretend bonkers!!
Posted by faithhopechocolate | October 29, 2012, 16:30Oh my. . . this post was filled with so much magnificence. I love you guys!
Posted by travellingmo | October 29, 2012, 21:15I am a man of my word, Le Clown. http://righttobitch.com/2012/11/05/a-clown-on-fire-raising-le-blogging-bar/
Posted by Adam S | November 4, 2012, 23:36