LC: Hey, Weebles… Want to write a post about our email exchanges?
MW: Sure, why the fuck not, Le Clown?
LC: There goes the Freshly Pressed nod…
MW: Suck it, Clown. We’ve both been FP’d already. But I’ll probably never be chosen for a Daily Post with my potty mouth. So you’ll always be more famous.
LC: For starters, it’s Le Clown, Weebs. And Le Clown is King of Fucking Everything. Just ask my kids: “Clown Dad is a real buffoon—he rules the kingdom of poopoo heads”.
MW: That’s true, I saw them using your grease paint to write that all over your car, Le Clown.
LC: Speaking of oily-greasy colour, I think I need to drink less coffee, and more water… my urine is as yellow as Homer Simpson’s skin. I’m probably having liver failure. I should check for jaundice.
MW: I think yellow is a good color for you, actually. Very flattering. We should call Tim Gunn and get his thoughts.
LC: Have your read Michelle’s latest post on King of States? It’s better than a fart joke.
MW: I read it a little while ago. That woman is FUNNY. I bet the three of us would have a good time meeting for coffee, except for your whole jaundice thing.
LC: New York smells like pee. My jaundice would fit right in.
MW: That’s true. New York’s official nickname is the Big Apple, but did you know that the NYC Tourist Board considered changing it to “The Urinal of the Northeast”? True story.
LC: And here I thought waste management nomenclature was only for the South…
MW: Nope, we’ve got plenty north of the Mason-Dixon line. Hey, have you read Creative Liar? She’s funny as fuck.
LC: Of course she’s hilarious. She has Eric in her name…
MW: Only you would notice this.
LC: Kelly from Excitement on the Side doesn’t have Eric in her name, and she’s fucking brilliant…
MW: It’s so wonderful that you can appreciate bloggers whose names aren’t anagrams of your name. You truly are magnificent.
LC : It’s magnificent™ actually… But obviously:
Le Clown, I’m
MW: Wow. Just…wow. Here’s one that might be safe from your wordsmithing: Maximum Wage. He’s a good one too.
LC: You’re just biased because he doesn’t fall into my 98% VAG readership…
MW: You need to butch up your blog, dude. Seriously. How is your glamorous new office job? What exactly do you do there, anyway, aside from letting them bask in your magnificence™?
LC: I sit in my beautiful office, and bask in my magnificence™ in front of a large window that looks out on Old Montreal… But I do miss the view from my old gig, though…
MW: That’s so nice that you had your own personal peep show there. Not all of us are that lucky.
LC: Right… I hear some can see the Hudson River from their window… Hmph.
MW: That’s true. Some are lucky that way.
LC: Weebs, I have to ask you… You’re like the sister I have, but more like I wanted her to be… Geddy Lee. Really? Come on, no one’s reading. This is between us. It’s bullshit, right?
MW: Your sister has a thing for Geddy Lee too?? That’s a weird coincidence. What can I say…he’s an epic bass player and an incredibly talented musician overall, and he makes me swoony. See this photo? It makes me want to do naughty, naughty things to him.
LC: That is my cue out.
MW: You suck, Le Clown.