In Canadaland, with the end of summer comes the winter of our discontent: heating bills triple, maple leafs turn dead, and American tourists migrate South. Let truth be told: even Canadians get the winter blues. And what is more depressing than cold, hungry polar bears and two hours of daylight? Christmas in October. We haven’t trick-or-treated yet and the lunacy of Christmas consumerism is urging me to be a sperm donor so I can afford gifts for my kids. Don’t Scrooginize me: I love Christmas… I don’t really care about White Baby Jesus, myrrh and the Advent calendar – unless it’s a Star Wars special edition – but I do love me some Christmas turkey. In the spirit of the holidays, let me fight off the blues by telling you one of my favourite Christmas stories: Never Cry Wolf.
XMAS at Le Clown’s
1991. The Americans liberate Kuwait from the evil Iraqi people, and code-name their “benevolent grand gesture” after a G.I. Joe comic book. Le Clown is a lifeguard, lives with roommates, and is a literature student. He’s too young to know that one day he will be dreaming about being part of the hacktivist group Anonymous. For the time being, he’s being lured to celebrate the holidays in small-town Ontario with the promise of meeting a very famous author. This better not be a case of never cry wolf.
A French-speaking Montrealer is often a novelty in English Canada – from what I’ve gathered throughout the years, most of us are perceived as angry separatists. I sport the Samuel de Champlain haircut, both my ears are pierced, and I carry a Hubert Aquin book around – I might as well have had the words Death to the Anglos tattooed on my forehead. To give you a bit of context, many small English Canadian towns still pledge their allegiance to the Queen and the Church of England, and some Canadian Royalists see French Quebecers as the white niggers of America… like my hosts, for instance.
Mr.and Mrs. Smith live in a federal Canadian heritage house. Mr. Smith was Dean of Something Important at the University of Toronto, or so says his Dean blazer he made sure to wear when we arrived on Christmas Eve. “Hello son…“, Mr. Smith says. “Are you a separatist or do you believe in the strong unity of our great country?” This is going to be long. I’m young. I’m cool. I’m going to meet a famous Canadian author. Focus, Le Clown.
We’re visiting other patrons of Small-Town Ontario in their very own Canadian heritage house… It’s the latest craze, to own a Canadian heritage house; everyone should get one… perhaps if I donate enough semen… Traditionally, and today only, this house is entirely candle-lit. I won’t lie: it is magical, and for a few minutes, I forget that I am under constant scrutiny. Kids are flocking around me: I have long hair, earrings, and I speak French – which makes me more popular than a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doll. “Mr. Separatist, how do you say seal in French”… They’re laughing. They think they’ve outwitted me… They’re waiting for it… Until this very short man comes in, and causes a commotion. Kids are asked by their parents to behave – someone very important just arrived. The very short man gives a few handshakes, and walks towards Mr. Dean of Something Important – they know each other… Mr. Dean of Something Important is not such a douche after all. The conversation is a lively one… Mr. Dean of Something Important points towards me, the two men laugh, and they walk my way. I’m young. I’m cool. I’m meeting Farley Mowat.
“So you must be my young fan from Québec”? (Goddamn right I am!). And we talk. We chat. He tells me about his books, his travels, his favourite authors – we exchange our thoughts on Robertson Davies, Timothy Findley, and even Michel Tremblay. He’s respectful, he’s listening to me, he’s asking my opinion about stuff… This was not a case of never cry wolf… This is the best Christmas ever! Mr. Dean of Something Important interrupts – we must leave. I am saddened, devastated, I want to stay. I bid Farley farewell (we’re on first name basis), and walk away towards the exit door.
“Son”, he screams from the other end of the room, “Vive le Québec libre!!!” Bastard.
Blokes.
Farley Mowat does not endorse this message. All Rights Reserved – The Globe and Mail.
Get out of here. Really?
You are infinitely cooler in my books now.
(I’m being totally serious.)
Posted by meizac | October 3, 2012, 06:57Meizac,
Yes. I was 20, and I was so very nervous to meet this Canadian literature icon. He was kind, funny, and had a huge laugh.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:42Huge laughs are a sign of something… I don’t know what of… but I think it is something good.
Posted by asoulwalker | October 3, 2012, 12:29Brilliant
Posted by Alastair | October 3, 2012, 07:21Alastair,
Thank you, my friend… And you are of course referring to Farley Mowat, right?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:43I am indeed. I was going to put another reply that it was him I was referring to.
Posted by Alastair | October 3, 2012, 10:40As an American of course I had no idea who Farley Mowat was until I read this. It’s so cool that you got to meet one of your literary giants and in such a fun way. He sounds like a good fella. And I’m enjoying getting to know more about the younger you. The younger Weebles would have approved, but probably still would have rolled her eyes because she was too cool for school that way.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 3, 2012, 07:33Madame Weebles,
Do you think the younger you and the younger Le Clown could have been interchangeable, except for the obvious physical “differences”, of course…?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:52I think so, except for the physical “differences” (I didn’t have the Samuel de Champlain hairstyle). We would either have been immediate BFFs or we would have hated each other.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 3, 2012, 09:05Madame Weebles,
Nah. I was likeable. And enjoyed weed too much to feel animosity towards others, unless they would steal my munchies away.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 09:07Then we would have been BFFs. I might have even shared my french fries with you.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 3, 2012, 09:10Same here. I wasn’t familiar with him, so had to look him up. According to the article I read, Mr. Mowat disappeared after meeting a young man in clown makeup. Hmm.
Posted by calahan | October 3, 2012, 14:38Le Calahan,
How I wish this was about Chad Kroeger.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 20:57What an awesome experience. I just learned who Farley Mowat is, and I imagine it would be great to actually sit down and talk with a great writer when meeting him. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by La La | October 3, 2012, 07:49La La,
As young man, I knew who Farley was as he is a Canadian icon, but he was more of a writer I had to study, than an author I actually read religiously. But being who he is, it was a great honour, and I was like a kid in front of a candy store, except much, much cooler. Ahem.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:51SO much cooler, duh.
Posted by La La | October 3, 2012, 10:37You met Farley Mowat? I am impressed….the younger me would have thought the younger you was a cool French guy and would have thought the separatists would not have ventured anywhere near Toronto, so logically you would have been too cool to be a separatist.
Posted by kayjai | October 3, 2012, 07:57Kayjai,
Yes! Face to face. Screw Skype! How cool is that? And your assumption about the fear of Toronto for a Quebec separatist is a well-founded one… Thank you.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:50Eric,
This was the best Christmas story ever! An icon of Canadian literature…and you were cool and he was cool. Also, beautifully written, my friend.
Cathy
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 3, 2012, 08:08Cathy,
It was so exciting, and nervewracking. And let’s be honest, there’s something very Santa Claus about Mr. Mowat, don’t you think (although Robertson Davies…)?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:48Farley could be a passable Santa, although he has a more gnomish look, but Robertson Davies? Absolutely!
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | October 3, 2012, 09:41This was a pretty good Christmas story, but I think it would be enhanced if it was written in the style of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’. It has many similarities – the anticipation, the arrival of a tiny man, the ‘dash away, dash away, dash away’ bit. You know?
Posted by Vanessa Chapman | October 3, 2012, 08:21Vanessa,
Alas, my English is limited. I wish I could channel Dickens, but I would only sound like Honey Boo Boo doing so.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:47It’s just as well. Dickens was an asshole.
Posted by Madame Weebles | October 3, 2012, 09:00Yes! And a hack. That’s what I keep telling my husband and he calls me crazy!
Posted by Margarita | October 3, 2012, 12:52This Christmas story is so touching, I crying.
Posted by aFrankAngle | October 3, 2012, 08:43Frank,
Suffering from Farley Mowat-envy? Don’t cry my friend. They’ll be enough reasons to cry past XMAS when you look at your bills…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 08:44I love Christmas as well. Sh. Don’t tell.
Great story. Moments like that you just wish you could freeze, capture, bottle… I know, “Ode On A Grecian Urn” and all that, but it’s true.
Posted by The Byronic Man | October 3, 2012, 09:33The Byronic Man,
HA!! Look at you being all literary and stuff…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:20I like learning little tidbits about the younger Le Clown. Great story… I’m not a fan of Christmas…AND I dislike turkey. I want Roast Beef like the Who’s do. ♥
Posted by bipolarmuse | October 3, 2012, 09:36BPMuse,
Then you will enjoy a few of my future posts!! And I will agree with you… Turkey wouldn’t be my first choice either… Stuffed calamari would be…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:21Do you really have stuffed calamari? Cuz that’s what we have. Loved this story. More please?!
Posted by misslisted | October 3, 2012, 11:54Christine,
Yes, occasionally. I have enjoyed a few XMAS at Italian friends, where they do sea food on XMAS Eve. One of the meal was 5-Cheese Stuffed Calamari… SOO SOO good.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 11:57The pic makes me wonder if there should be a TV show about “Les Clowns” (along the line of the The Monsters…?). The story is good, too. Thanks for sharing this moment of “D’uh!”
I’m writing this fighting the urge to f you…why did you put the button “down there” where I will see it every time I comment on something?! f you! and where are my royalties?
Posted by TAE | October 3, 2012, 09:56TAE,
I have a button at the bottom of the page, and one on the sidebar when you’re on the main page. So buttons everywhere. And fo F me, goddammit!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 09:59You introduce me to Farley Mowat. I introduce you to Honey Boo Boo and Nancy Grace. I don’t think I can apologize enough. Cool story.
Posted by Fish Out of Water | October 3, 2012, 10:03Fish,
Don’t apologize… Now I use Honey Boo Boo in my comments whenever I don’t want to use Paul Ryan. It gives me more insult options.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:06I love these true stories!!! I could wanted to snuggle up with a blankie and read all about Christmas. However, Next Time you should title this “White Nigga.” I didn’t know I could go from being a cracker to a white Nigga just by moving to Quebec (I don’t have a fancy-dan French keyboard like my sis-in-law to give the accents) and learning French. I always adore you and your family photos, but sometimes you blogging friends confuse me, so I don’t always attend the re-blog meetings or guest bloggers. Joyeux Noel! Darn no fancy keyboard!!!
Posted by kzackuslheureux | October 3, 2012, 10:11Kreta,
That would have been a title that would put fire to WordPress. I linked “white nigga” so readers could know what I was referring too. And in all seriousness, I always like seeing you here…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:12Ha ha, even when I try to type with a grumpy toddler on my lap, while barking orders to three boys getting ready for school???? You poor thing. Trying to read what I might end up typing … heee heeeeee!
Posted by kzackuslheureux | October 3, 2012, 10:58By the way, Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar ALL MINE Clown, all mine!
Posted by kzackuslheureux | October 3, 2012, 18:19While I do not really understand the Canadian stuff, I think I experienced something similar to this when I met theChive editors.
Posted by becca3416 | October 3, 2012, 10:21Becca,
I feared my Canadiana might sparkle confusion among my readers… Can I make it better to you? I’m thinking about writing a post on Honey Boo Boo. This might bring me back the respect of my American readership.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:24Don’t you dare!
Posted by becca3416 | October 3, 2012, 10:27I don’t know this writer but I’m getting a better pic in my mind’s eye of the young Le Clown. I bet you dread the cold and dark. Does the darkness suit your mood or mess with it? Just curious. Where I am, it begins getting dark at 4:30 and by 5, it’s done. I don’t like it. But I do like this post although I don’t always follow everything you’re saying (I know, I know I’m not cool but I’m trying!) I learn from you, friend. Thanks for sharing. And love the Le Clown family portrait. (Oh, and like the new background, Eric).
Posted by Brigitte | October 3, 2012, 10:29Brigitte,
You know what I love about your comments? Their honesty. It’s so refreshing. It’s great to read that someone doesn’t get all the references… Who can? Really… This is why when I think I cover a subject that might not be widely known, I add links to some of the references.
As for darkness, I am not affected by the lack of light. I brought this up as the change of season will have an impact on The Ringmistress, and it also did on my father.
As always, thank you for reading, Brigitte.
Le Clown
PS: Thank you for the comment on the background. A friend of mine is working on a branded one, and until it is completed, I like this black smoke.
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 10:32That’s why I like your posts, the links are useful & relevant. I didn’t understand the ‘Vive Le Québec libre’ quote till I clicked through. I was worried for half a second when I saw Wikipaedia load, but finally it was a link that made sense to connect to! PHEW (pet hate; pointless Wikipaedia links)
Posted by Barbara | October 4, 2012, 18:57Barbara,
I knew this topic is something we Canadian are more familiar with, which is why I tried to add links to any references that could be obscure to some readers. It’s good to know that they were helpful to you!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 19:57Awesome Christmas, L’Eric. You were so very cool even then. I recognized the name right away. Because I sold used children’s books for many years, I saw his books often and always snapped them up. They sold like hotcakes.
Posted by Maddie Cochere | October 3, 2012, 11:04Maddie,
Yes, that would be Farley. Not the hotcakes, though.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 20:58Ha!
Say Eric, would you mind if I know tell a friend of mine who is fan of Mr. Mowat that I know him personally? I mean, you know him (great experience btw) and I sorta know you, so Farley and I are best pals obviously,
Posted by Doggy's Style | October 3, 2012, 11:30Leo,
One degree of separation, right?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 11:31Exactly!
Posted by Doggy's Style | October 3, 2012, 11:34An early Christmas gift from Le Clown. Thank you.
A wonderful story. I would be excited too.
Have you seen the movie “Finding Farley?” I saw it not long ago. It was quite fascinating…
Posted by drawandshoot | October 3, 2012, 11:43By the way. I LOVE Quebec.
Posted by drawandshoot | October 3, 2012, 11:45Karen,
I know that. It’s not all of English Canada that is douche when it comes to Québec. On the same token, there are as many douches from Québec that have a warped perception of the rest of Canada, which is SUCH a beautiful country.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 11:47Karen,
I haven’t seen that one. I would love too? Was it a made for TV documentary? There’s a few I’d like to see right now. I was recently told that Bruce McDonald did a documentary on Brendan Canning, and that, I’d love to see…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 11:46It’s an interesting documentary about a family of 3 tracing the path of Farley, by canoe. They make it to his home in the end of the film.
The most remarkable thing is they do this with a 2 year in tow!
Posted by drawandshoot | October 3, 2012, 11:52Karen,
Thank you for that! I’ll look into it. I made fun of “small-town Ontario”, but quite honestly, Port Hope is one of the nicest ones I have visited. And even though it’s more of a working class one, I think Carleton Place is lovely.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 11:55Changed my mood for good… lets exchange weathers… I get summer blues really and long for snow… sigh!
Posted by ursalatariq | October 3, 2012, 12:22Ursula,
I don’t really dislike winter – I do love the amount of snow we get… I really am not a big fan of the cold, the very, very cold days we have… We talk in Celsius in Canada, but we’ll drop easily down to the -30C… Argh.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 20:59Aww bless, I feel you… stay warm always x
Posted by ursalatariq | October 4, 2012, 11:29Hey Le Clown
I forgot to mention in my comment I totally love the image of you guys!
Love x
Posted by ursalatariq | October 3, 2012, 12:35Ursula,
Thank you. We were hairy and smelly.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 21:00Dear Le Clown
That’s what makes you all look ‘perfect’
U
Posted by ursalatariq | October 4, 2012, 11:30OK. I know this is a really good story and I’m really happy for you and I’ve read Robertson Davies books, Murther and Walking Spirits lastly. But I don’t know a lot of what just happened in that post.
Posted by Maggie O'C | October 3, 2012, 12:35Maggie,
I’m sorry. I think my 1991 intro referring to Desert Storm might have blind sided you…
Le Clown
PS: LOVE Murther and Walking Spirits.
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:32Cher M. Le Clown,
1. Thanks for the introduction to Farley Mowat – although, if he’s Dickensian I’ll take that back!
2. Cool does not wear off. It becomes vintage…speaking from experience.
3. How do you donate sperm for profit? Maybe I can get sweet husband to become a money-spouting fountain!
xoxoM
Posted by Margarita | October 3, 2012, 12:57Margarita,
1. He is nothing like Dickens, fear not. Mr. Mowat is a literary giant, but you might have more fun with Robertson Davies…
2. Cool is vintage. That could be a tag line. And I’m sure you wear it proud.
3. You need lots of lube and imagination. The rest, you can fill the blanks (now that made me laugh).
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:31Hah! Made me laugh, too! xoM
Posted by Margarita | October 4, 2012, 09:51Le Clown,
Thanks for sharing this nice little morsel down memory lane. I can see why you hold it dear. What a cool experience to meet a literary giant. I’ve never read him or heard of him before this. I’m interested in his Wolf story. Your post is so colorful, packed full of info. It was a pleasure to read. Hope you have a few more days of sun. (I hate to tell you this, but it’s like 100 degrees in California.)
TBF
Posted by The Bumble Files | October 3, 2012, 13:23TBF,
My father-in-law lives in California, in Sasaulito, on a house boat. We couldn’t have an house boat, here, unless it would be an ice boat…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:29Le Clown,
No, I don’t think you should have a house boat. That’s not a good idea for you. I agree. Brrrr….you must have nice fires by the fireplace. I don’t have that very often.
TBF
Posted by The Bumble Files | October 4, 2012, 11:48And I believed Belgium was quite divided? Ah ah ah. You, my friend, live in a country that almost beats us.
But okay. Seems like a great Christmas anyway. And o god, I wish I could have met you in that period of your life…! Did you have that nice haircut back then?
Posted by No Blog Intended | October 3, 2012, 13:28NBI,
Yes, that picture you have used for the haiku? That is Le Clown circa this story…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:21I am so jealous. So insanely jealous. I love Farley Mowat. I would tell you that in french to show my solidarity with French Canada, but my teacher spoke “Saskatchewan French” and was counting the days to retirement. Also, it is fucking snowing here.
Posted by rollergiraffe | October 3, 2012, 13:46Roller Giraffe,
I know you understand that I do not think every single English Canadian think that us French Quebecers are evil incarnated (and vice versa). This has just been my experience sporadically when I go outside of Québec – but in Nova Scotia.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:20I am loathe to admit that there is a lot of anti-french Canadian sentiment around Alberta. Less so now because we’re busy drowning ourselves in oil, but when I was growing up it was a pretty common sentiment.
Posted by rollergiraffe | October 4, 2012, 11:18I’m sorry, I’m still so distracted with the idea of little surrogate Le Clowns running around all over the world that I have nothing intelligent to say.
Seriously, though, that’s really cool. The opportunities to meet people you really admire give a lot of color to life. Speaking of color, I like the changes you made to the blog. They look great!
Posted by The Waiting | October 3, 2012, 14:29Emily,
Thank you. I have asked a friend to work on a wallpaper, but until so, I opted for something lighter than circus curtains… Little Surrogate Le Clowns… Not THAT made me laugh. And cry.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:18Oh to be young again! And as an Englishwoman I have no idea who Farley Mowat is, so I’m off to google
Posted by lovelifelaundry | October 3, 2012, 14:40Love Life Laundry,
I have provided links in my post if you’re like me and rather not google, but enjoy a quick read, and a nice cup of joe. Welcome to A Clown on Fire. I’ve tried to visit your blog but it is password protected…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:16Really?! That’s weird. Gonna check it out now. Thanks for the links
Posted by lovelifelaundry | October 4, 2012, 13:03I was going to my bloggity-blog and see I was finally cut loose from Le Clown…what hast thou wrought? I must say I was a little sad – but then I realized I wouldn’t be tempted to look at my stats and then your stats, then my stats and start sobbing into my keyboard. Don’t forget me Clown, we’ve had some good lyrical times….I bid the adieu.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 3, 2012, 16:55Rutabaga,
Why would I forget you? You are part of my Carnies now? I have been guilty of not visiting blogs lately, and for this, I apologize… But yours is one I will frequently, and say hi on Facebook, and so on. So like Madame Weebles would say: Bite me.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 19:01Hee hee… I always wanted to be a carnie – except the clowns scared me….
You never need apologize – how people keep up with all these blogs is something you should blog about!
I love that you are so different from the French Canadian stereotype that has been inflicted upon Americans (and and it seems other Canadians as well).
So here’s my question – if you are a speaker of French first, do you have the Canadian “oo” going on for “about” or is more of French accented English? Do you speak other languages? I’m big on languages. I was surprised when my father told me he learned to speak Canadian French when he lived in Ottawa even though he doesn’t really remember it at all. He also told me he ice skated to school via canals (too cool – I love ice skating – it feels more natural than walking for me) and that people warmed their hands in manure – which I always suspected was BS told to a young and gullible child!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 3, 2012, 20:15Rutabaga,
Canada is a large country… Asking me if we all have the Canadian “oo” is like if I would say all Americans speak Texan, or with a New York accent. But you know that…
As for my English. It’s particular… Our French is not like the one in France, and far from it… You can just google Quebec French, and you’ll hear it quickly. Let me find a link for you to what my English sounds like. I shall be back soon!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 20:44I guess I can’t ask you know the three Canadians that I am friends with
– I know Canada is HUGE – and I suspect that the “oo” is probably in areas where American English sounds much the same – like MN, ILL, etc. It’s funny, my father was born in Queens, NY and only lived Ottawa for about 5 0r 6 yrs but he says “sorry”, “about” and “process” in the stereotypical Canadian manner (I get all my Canadian factual knowledge from SCETV, Strange Brew, Kids in the Hall and Murddoch and my 3 Canadian friends – not counting my new ones). I hope to make only 3 to 4 more obviously embarrassing to Americans type comments. Please stay tuned.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 3, 2012, 20:53Rutabaga,
Ok. I thought long and hard about that one… And I hate saying this, but… Just listen to Céline Dion speak English. It’s the perfect example of a French Québécois speak English.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 20:53My ears will bleed, Eric.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 3, 2012, 21:00I actually had to read the comments to get a handle on this post. Basically I walked away with;
1. you were a cool cat as a young Le Clown
2. You smoked enough weed to counteract any animosity you might have developed toward others.
3. you met one of your favorite authors or at least a Canadian literary icon
4. you’re not a fan of traditional Christmas but do like you some turkey
5. Canada sucks big time in the winter
and of course the Le Clown family portrait is pretty great.
Posted by A Gripping Life | October 3, 2012, 17:46Grippy,
You must be great with checklists…
1. Sell the house;
2. Write Le Clown to help with techie stuff;
3. Tell all my neighbours I know Le Clown;
4. Eat.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 18:59As an English Quebecer, my views on Quebec politics surely differ from yours and I think it’s a subject best left alone.
As your friend and fellow author, I am a little jealous but happy for you to have been able to meet someone you admire. Good for you!
Posted by writerwendyreid | October 3, 2012, 18:29Wendy,
Your views and mine are surely similar. Trust me. I am not a separatist, and I do believe in the unity of Canada. What I am telling you is how, as a French Quebecer, I was often treated in English Canada. I know that as an English Quebecer, you had the shits here among Frenchies, and for that, again, I am truly sorry.
Le Clown
PS: I am not ignoring you for Dexter and links… I’m just trying to figure out the best way to convey all the info to a non-techie…
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 18:32No need to apologize Clown because you didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t even hold it against the French. They have their reasons I am sure.
Cool on the Dexter thing. Take your time. I appreciate your help and the fact that you are keeping in mind that I am retarded….er…not technologically savvy.
Posted by writerwendyreid | October 3, 2012, 18:37I had never heard of this author until this blog, and in a lot of ways, I still have never heard of him. I’m glad you got to meet your literary hero, and sorry that he pissed some of it away at the end. I hate when people play on stereotypes. It’s shallow and cruel.
I love something besides turkey for the three baking holidays. Guess what it is?
Give up? Of course you do – you’re part French! I prefer ham during the three baking holidays.
Posted by Edward Hotspur | October 3, 2012, 18:46Eddie,
Farley Mowat is more of a Canadian icon than a literary hero. But to meet Farley Mowat would have been like meeting Jack London for an American – it’s a big deal. Now if I would have met Milan Kundera, for example… As for ham, we do seem to have kindred stomachs, my friend…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 18:55I know Jack London is an author, and not much else. To be completely honest, I have not read that many books that would be considered “literature” outside of school, and I am skeptical about what criteria constitutes a “classic” anyway. I am a sci-fi and fantasy fan. I’ve read some Hunter Thompson, Douglas Coupland (Canadian!), Richard Bach, and some others I’m too lazy to remember. I guess my point is that for me to have met Jack London (and to remember it), I would have had to be born about 100 years ago.
So I’ll just talk about ham. It’s delicious, and good on pizza. I disagree that putting pineapple on a pizza somehow makes it “Hawaiian”. The only ingredient that makes a pizza “Hawaiian” is Spam.
Posted by Edward Hotspur | October 3, 2012, 19:08Eddie,
My blog advice to Hotspur: blog like you comment. You’re actually quite clever.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 19:09Who knew, right? You might like my Scenes From A Morning Drive series. And book. Books. On Smashwords and Amazon.
I think it’s the inherent word limit of the comment box. You feel compelled to keep it simple and short.
Posted by Edward Hotspur | October 3, 2012, 19:18That was a very cool story – I learned quite a bit as well – thank you for the links to explain most of the cultural references I knew very little about.
I talk with one of my favorite authors on FB – she even has my blog linked from her blog – I felt like I was kissed by David Bowie the first time Sharon addressed me by name on FB. I still get giddy when an author I love responds to me on FB (many of my favorite writers are on Sharon’s page as well).
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 3, 2012, 20:28Rutabaga,
And who is that elusive Sharon you are referring to? Sharon Stone? Sharon Van Etten?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:14Sharon K Penman – writer of amazingly detailed and well written historical fiction. My favorite.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 4, 2012, 08:01Power to the People! Don’t you just love those ‘benevolent grand gestures’?
Posted by Sword-chinned bitch | October 3, 2012, 20:31Auntie Sandee,
You’re back!!! Thank you for taking time from your very busy schedule to visit! American people have such a knack for these grand gestures. I am certain the Afghan people are thanking you every passing day!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:13I think you should write LeClown’s christmas stories. Children need new christmas stories.
Posted by nevercontrary | October 3, 2012, 21:08NC,
You know, you might have just given me an idea for the holidays…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:11Wonderful story of your brush with greatness!
Posted by artsifrtsy | October 3, 2012, 21:13Artsifrtsy,
And here I thought I was meeting the real Santa…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:10LeClown,
Man – what a let down…
Artsi
Posted by artsifrtsy | October 4, 2012, 09:27i wish i were smart enough to know any of the people you mentioned in that post.
Posted by rich | October 3, 2012, 22:34Rich,
They are all fictional characters that played in that romantic science-fiction drama by the director of that other movie.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 3, 2012, 22:51then that’s a tribute to your skills. i read it all as being real. but when i first saw “never cry wolf,” i thought of that great movie with charles martin smith who goes on a wilderness venture.
Posted by rich | October 3, 2012, 22:54Rich,
Now I feel like a douche as the Never Cry Wolf mentioned in my story is indeed the Farley Mowat story… And everything that has been depicted in this post is real, minus the prose.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 05:42i see no reason for douceness to be felt. if anything, i probably should have known the connection but didn’t realize it.
Posted by rich | October 4, 2012, 07:51As a sidenote that has little to do with anything . . . I didn’t know what an advent calendar was until last year. True story.
Posted by Angel Fractured | October 4, 2012, 00:41Angel,
You got away for all these years? Good for you.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:07What’s odd is that I learned about them from my friend knows practically nothing about Christianity.
Posted by Angel Fractured | October 4, 2012, 09:30I thought you were against donating your semen. Didn’t you write a post about that a while back?
I LOVE Christmas very much but it bothers me a lot too that stores start “selling” it so early. Very annoying.
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | October 4, 2012, 00:46SSG,
I did write a post about my semen way back – I had to stop all my Carnies from asking me to be benevolent with my jizz…
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 06:07I am embarrassed to say that I majored in English… and still manage to be clueless about 90% of your literary references. Gah! Meanwhile, there’s a Star Wars calendar???
P.S. Still working on the Black Box post. I do a lot of psychic story-telling. Perhaps you want me to psychically transmit it to you?
Posted by Love & Lunchmeat | October 4, 2012, 09:51L&L,
Would you like to have your post for next Thursday? I can send you an invite to be an author to BBW. And at what email address should I send you the invitation?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 10:09Yeah, Thursday is motivating, which I seem to need… My e-mail is loveandlunchmeat@gmail.com
Posted by Love & Lunchmeat | October 4, 2012, 10:21I enjoyed the article and I still don’t know who this author is :/ Oh well, another time.
On a side note, thanks for the add. That was a compliment I was not expecting.
Posted by Scintillatebrightly | October 4, 2012, 10:25Scintillate Brightly,
Oh, it’s my pleasure to follow you back. I will make it up there soon enough to read more of you.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 4, 2012, 11:30You’re a great story teller, Le Clown. Brilliant!
Posted by Jen and Tonic | October 4, 2012, 14:05Jen,
Plese say “seal” in French…!
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | October 5, 2012, 06:29You can go hard or you can go home.
Posted by chaotican | October 5, 2012, 10:56Great to learn a little bit about your earlier days. Helps with the “getting to know you virtually” bit.
At this point, I find it necessary to ruin your day by telling you that the sky is a perfect shade of blue, the birds are singing in the trees, the spring blossoms are budding everywhere and we are heading into a warm, summer Christmas season.
Do not Un-Follow me for this – it’s merely the truth of our “rough life in Africa!”
Posted by Long Life Cats and Dogs | October 6, 2012, 08:19