“The blogosphere has no business in the bedrooms of Le Clown”.
- Pierre Elliot Trudeau
You might have read this. Or this. And even this. But Le Clown doesn’t write about sex. Le Clown rocks out with his pork sword tucked away. Dick won’t be slappin’ your pretty faces with his bedroom stories. No meatstick to chew on A Clown on Fire. Le Clown’s skin flute doesn’t play that melody. Only Groucho Marx-like spitstick jokes on this blog. All pink cigar smoke and mirrors. Microphallicaly disappointing, isn’t it?
You wouldn’t know this if you would look at the popular search terms used to find this blog:
- Ron Jeremy
- Ron Jeremy young
- Ron Jeremy sex with a clown
- Masturbating clowns
- Rainbow unicorn sex
- Naked white clown full frontal big cock
Don’t get Le Clown wrong, he’s no prude. Le Clown enjoys the talented sex bloggers of WordPress - The Story of Alice just to name one – but when it comes to writing about his sex life, Le Clown usually keeps his pencil dick between his third leg.
Brian Westbye once told Le Clown: “There’s a latent homoeroticism on A Clown on Fire“. Le Clown remembers being offended by his comment… Why latent? Le Clown is down with the gays. People from all denominations are accepted on his blog, even Americans.
Le Clown doesn’t want to be a prick and pound you silly with a very long moralistic piece on sex – if you want to bare it all on your blog, it’s your prerogative. Le Clown prefers being up frontal about his stance on dingaling it publicly, and as shlong as you respect this, we’ll continue to hang it out together.
Post-Scrotum: In my quest to get Freshly Pressed, I submitted this post to a stiff checklist.
|Freshly Pressed Tips||Highlights of this Post||Rating|
|Write unique content
that’s free of bad stuff
|Not once did
Le Clown use bad stuff.
|Have a point of view||There’s no Zuul, only Le Clown.||★★★★★|
|Don’t be afraid
of your voice
|With my Le Clown’s voice
I will charm WordPress’ scouts,
I will charm the Lord of the Dead,
Moving their hearts with my melody.
I will bear WordPress away from Hades,
And merit my Freshly Pressed badge.
Virgil – The Story of Le Clown and WordPress
|Paint us a picture||How about five?||★★★★★|
| Make it easy
on the eyes
|“Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful”
- Le Clown in his now infamous
Pantene shampoo commercials.
|Add relevant tags||Clown sex, Ron Jeremy, Pink cigar.
Need Le Clown say more?
we can’t ignore
|Unless you’re a 12-yr old girl,
you can’t really ignore Woody Allen.
|Aim for typo-free content||Le Clown relied on WordPress’
AutoCorrect. It MUST be flawless.