I’m completely titillated! Or maybe I’m titillating… I’m so thrilled I’m not quite sure.
Anyway, Le Clown invited me to be a guest blogger – it’s my first time. I’m beside myself with joy…and abject terror as he’s a clown – I fear them much and a lot. But I’m willing to put aside my phobias for the sake of poetic indulgence.
So people – please make all comments in the form of a Haiku OR a limerick. Let us begin ~
Rutabaga, The Mercenary Researcher
These nails, quite shapely
Toxins glow green like spring time
Look! I have nice teeth
Post Scriptum: If you haven’t submitted a topic or voted for your favourite topic for this year’s most thrilling blog duel, you still have 48 hours to do so. A blood bath, it will be.
I’m laughing too hard
cannot think clearly enough
can’t participate
Posted by unfetteredbs | September 16, 2012, 07:28Clear your brain and mind
See delights in abs sublime
or poke your eyes out…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:17Sorry Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher….but…this NEEDS to be said
Oh gawd Le Clown – put a shirt on… no one wants to see your one-ab
Posted by the howler and me | September 16, 2012, 08:23There once was an ab with some hair
Protruding from down under there
The neck muscles straining; the horror remaining
That clown needs to get him some Nair
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:21oooooh you are the awesomest!!!
Posted by the howler and me | September 16, 2012, 10:20Aw shucks- thanks!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 10:21Should not have read this
while eating scrambled eggs
snotted yolk through nose
Posted by speaker7 | September 16, 2012, 08:25Yellow-green swirls make blue
A rainbow of snot delights
Art comes from the nose
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:24From such noses comes
All we ever hoped and dreamed
In snotted-cloaked-joy.
Posted by asoulwalker | September 17, 2012, 12:34Damn effin’ straight, asoulwalker!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 17, 2012, 12:36I needed a lift
Haiku Sunday is Awesome
Hugh Jackman you’re not
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | September 16, 2012, 09:19Pop-culture failure
I seek wikipedia
Phew -Hugh not poet
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:25Coughing and I’m tired
Must relax on this Sunday
Ruta haiku YAY!
Posted by Brigitte | September 16, 2012, 09:21Brigitte oh Brigitte
Haiku from you it started
Now Sundays fun days
(Yes – that was a horrid Haiku – I know)
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:28Adamantium Claws
A Canuck Superhero
Blogger Superstar
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 09:35Painful protrusion
Those adamantium Claws
Out loud mouth screaming
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:40Hard Nipple Pointy Hands
Weapon X Unleashed
No Pants No Service
Posted by mabukach | September 16, 2012, 09:42Eat here! Get Gas! Wait…
No Pants, No Shoes, No Service
Cover those Nipples
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:45Coughed out through nostrils
Bitter liquid black coffee
Your haiku provoked
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 09:49Hookup with Speaker7 and you’ll both have breakfast.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:50Adamantium
Wolverine and Avatar
Unobtainium
Posted by Brother Jon | September 16, 2012, 09:44These words move around in my mind
On these meanings I’m somewhat behind
I did not watch Xmen, nor Avatar next, then
When it comes to these materials, I’m blind.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 09:49LeClowniumum
Metallurgy’s new meaning
Photoshop is through
Posted by Cathy Ulrich | September 16, 2012, 09:50Freddy Krueger or
Wolverine
Nightmare on Le Clown Street
(yea yea weak I know)
I am crusty
rusty
leave me alone
Posted by unfetteredbs | September 16, 2012, 09:58Je suis une baguette
Je ris beaucoup ha ha ha
Zut alors hoh hoh!
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 16:58que pasa? I am a bagette?
Posted by unfetteredbs | September 16, 2012, 17:09Because I love a good ‘stream of consciousness’ post…
Zappa has a most excellent album called Zoot Allures…I’m father fond of Black Napkins and The Torture Never Stops…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 20, 2012, 11:21oh, and by the way
this is my favourite one
definitely great.
Posted by asoulwalker | October 10, 2012, 21:56The Zappa song or the French poem?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 10, 2012, 22:14Nice.
Posted by asoulwalker | October 10, 2012, 22:24Um???
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 11, 2012, 09:38I get that a lot… also, I navigate reply buttons poorly… a lot.
Posted by asoulwalker | October 11, 2012, 12:27I’m down with that…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 11, 2012, 12:35Word.
Posted by asoulwalker | October 11, 2012, 12:39My absence from mirth
A self imposed box
Utterly destroyed
Posted by Human In Recovery | September 16, 2012, 10:08Who can deny this Wolverine Guy
Makes one spurt out liquid from one’s nose?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 10:12Reblogged this on The Mercenary Researcher and commented:
Hey People – come check out Le Clown and give us a Sunday Hakiu ~
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 10:11That picture scares me
But it’s not the sharp hand blades
It’s the weird chest hair
Posted by Carrie Rubin | September 16, 2012, 10:11I am rather leary
From those chest hairs – quite scary
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 10:16Le Clown he screameth
Sara Lomas she weepeth
no more behemoth
Posted by misslisted | September 16, 2012, 11:14Le Wolverineth
Was not a Shakespeare sonnet
In Shiva we Trust
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 11:43scariest picture
I think I have ever seen
le clown looking great
Posted by atothewr | September 16, 2012, 11:14Must needed chest hair
To fight cold and polar bears
O Canada, fuck.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 11:38No haikus written
By me since sophomore year
You can see why now.
Posted by The Waiting | September 16, 2012, 11:18Billy was his name
A smashing pumpkin he ruled
Smashed by his ego.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 11:36How could you have known
Billy was my main topic?
Egos abound. Yay.
Posted by The Waiting | September 16, 2012, 13:21This is the tale of Wolverine-
a Canuck who ate much poutine.
He put on some weight
the more cheese he ate
now his blades are all that is lean.
Posted by H.E. ELLIS | September 16, 2012, 11:19Sir H.E. Ellis,
A blog friendship this might be
For a puny fee
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 11:32Hmmm…
A “Madame” you get for a puny fee.
A “Sir” however, is gonna cost ya’.
Posted by H.E. ELLIS | September 16, 2012, 11:40A Framed Bob Gainey
Stares at me, with mocking eyes
“Owned you were, Le Clown”.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 11:49You wrote such a grand little rhyme,
about Poutine and Canucks that this time
Le clown now your friend, some Haiku you will bend
I bet you my very last dime.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 18:59sunday morning eyes
full of magnificence and
whatever that is
Posted by rollergiraffe | September 16, 2012, 11:56Step back a few feet
From my picture will you please
Twins crying for mum
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 12:07My retinas are
Forever seared with scary
Image of chest hair
Posted by rollergiraffe | September 16, 2012, 12:12So magnificent
His camel ball admired
Made in Canada
Posted by Jen and Tonic | September 16, 2012, 13:15I’ve written haiku
But never under pressure
That’s a scary pix!
Posted by Gretchen Cole | September 16, 2012, 14:21Ziggy played guitar
Making love with his ego
Wait… It’s about me.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 16:19You’ll have to get in line behind him.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 19:03OMG, OK…
WTF RTMR?
LMFAO
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 15:39Texting a haiku
Plus onomatopoeia
C U Ltr, Chris.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 16:32Horrified purists
Japanese poets turning
Over in their graves
I cannot help it
I had to comment; Le Clown’s
Sharp blades did beckon
Though IMHO
FWIW Hugh Jackman
Was not as scary
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 17:17A sober Le Clown
Raises his fedora hat
To life with no booze
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 17:37For that, a follow
Sobriety is awesome
Toasts with Gatorade
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 17:55Christy,
Congrats, really. Last drink was June 24, 2010.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 17:56I’m a Pop-Culture failure right here -
Please help me be abudantly clear
I have never done text, those letters they vex
RTMR stands for what, oh my dear?
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 19:07Look in the mirror, my friend, you shall see
RTMR stands simply for thee.
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 19:11I stand here all red in the face
That posting I wish to erase
Sometimes I’m quiet dull, my senses quite null
I biked 20 miles some place.
And now….
IT WAS A F***ING HAIKU! I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE UNTIL NOW!
Well effin played Runningonsober.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 19:16Me, I ran eighteen
Suprised I can even form
Haiku here with you
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 19:23Haiku I can do
It is my spelling that sucks
Le Clown needs spell check
Posted by runningonsober | September 16, 2012, 19:25HA!
That’s all I got
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 19:27What’s with the black dots?
It makes you look moldy, Clown
I don’t get it, dude
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 15:58Fuckity fuck fuck
A penny for your thoughts. Weebs.
Le Hotspew, perhaps?
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 16:35I can’t help myself
Le Hotspew is soooooooo dreamy
I think I love him
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 16:40She said she once loved
A man from Ipanema
But a child, he was.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 16:48Ipanema child
So manly, but still a boy
Whatever, broseph
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 16:51Weebles and Le Clown
My eyes grow so very sore
From constant rolling
Posted by Edward Hotspur | September 16, 2012, 18:32Funny ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
A polite Canuck.
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 19:51Wow, great haiku, dude
I can’t even be bothered
To write something else
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 20:29I have noticed this
It is certainly the truth
Concerning your blog
Posted by Edward Hotspur | September 16, 2012, 20:43Why, want more Weebles?
My blog’s full of quality
Don’t need quantity
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 21:48Bad news must I bring
My dictionary tells me
Haiku are not puns
Posted by Edward Hotspur | September 16, 2012, 18:38We try to ignore the overt
for Haiku to be pun is pervert
We laugh all the day, we frolic and play
With words that we like to subvert
yeh, yeh – I know that’s pushing it…
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 20:01Put down the knives, please
Go to anger management
And put on a shirt.
Posted by Lyssapants | September 16, 2012, 19:36Right, Right, Right you are!
Can’t count anymore syllales
All my clever spent
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 19:38Legos and baby
dolls on the floor, screaming kids.
This is far more fun!
Posted by karenlessscripted | September 16, 2012, 20:07I love to write short little verse
Most typically, it’s something perverse
But most of today, was lightheart and gay
I need not write something to curse
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 20:16Rutabaga, I never
Read a poem this clever
Ever
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 20:31Thank you – I’m honored. I mean that – I love your writing.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 20:48Garsh! Thank you!
Posted by Madame Weebles | September 16, 2012, 20:56Hidden cameras
I spy with my little eye
Where are you hiding?
Posted by Le Clown | September 16, 2012, 20:24There’s hands in the cupboards
There’s feet in the drawer
Much of this stuff you’d probably deplore
My job it does boast
Of parts sent from the post
I’m a mannequin dresser by 4.
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 20:29There once was a man named le clown
Whose purpose in life was to frown
But when Wendy dropped by
He smiled and said, “Hi,
It’s about time that you came around.”
Posted by writerwendyreid | September 16, 2012, 21:43excellent!
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 16, 2012, 22:36Thank you miss Rutabaga
Posted by writerwendyreid | September 16, 2012, 23:06Congrats for being
Asked to write a post on this
Rather freaky blog!
Posted by No Blog Intended | September 17, 2012, 05:09NBI,
You could host next Sunday’s edition… Yes?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 17, 2012, 07:55Wow… That would be my pleasure, but this Sunday I’ll be busy starting my new life. Would you mind inviting me for another time? Do I have the right to ask that?
Either way, wow.
Posted by No Blog Intended | September 19, 2012, 14:28NBI,
In two weeks?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 19, 2012, 16:04Deal.
Could you send further information to noblogintended@hotmail.com? Like what I should do precisely?
Thanks.
Posted by No Blog Intended | September 20, 2012, 07:43Thanks – it waas a whole lotta fun~
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 17, 2012, 08:11Le Clown,
Thank you for making me smile first … and now laughing…
God Bless you…
Posted by quod1me4nutrit1me9destruit | September 17, 2012, 08:51U,
That’s nice of you to say. Have a good one.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 19, 2012, 06:48xx
Posted by ursalatariq | September 19, 2012, 09:18Haikus, I love them!
But Le Clown is so unclothed …
I think I am scarred.
Posted by Queen Gen | September 18, 2012, 02:05It’s from the waist up
not from the waist down, thank god
that one sees le Clown
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 18, 2012, 08:37I was enjoying my first morning joe
To this blog I just happened to go
Upon reading the words
Both astutes and absurds
My approval I just had to crow.
Posted by nekkidsoul | September 18, 2012, 04:32What lovely rhymes you did form
The cockles of my heart are now warm
Le Clown is much scary,
Debauched and quite hairy
But amusing from dusk until dawn
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 18, 2012, 08:33Warm cockles are good
A pleasant feeling it is
Debauched is not bad
Posted by nekkidsoul | September 18, 2012, 19:02Well done ~
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 18, 2012, 20:43Just to show I can
be versatile with language
as I am with sex
Posted by nekkidsoul | September 18, 2012, 04:34