*******THIS CHALLENGE IS CLOSED, AND OUT TO LUNCH*******
You will find the winners of the Blogroll Contest here.
This challenge is by The Ringmistress. To jump to the twist.
OK. I’m tired and sore and cranky, in other words, I’m awake. I don’t think I can follow the last three acts of hilarity and brilliance on this Blogroll thingamajoo. I mean, I have to, because Le Clown whimpers when I don’t do what he wants, and Le Whining Clown is a greater torture than being The Donald’s stylist. I’m just saying that having me as the last act is akin to getting Jello for dessert. We’re both cheap, wobbly, and will leave you feeling empty.
Booze make us both taste better.
I say, careful what you whinge for.
Let’s dredge up an old high school/college/prison favourite: Truth or Dare. Here’s the RULES à la COF:
1) Leave a question or a dare in the comments that you want Le Clown to answer or perform*. Limit one question and one dare per person, because god knows that the friggin’ tsunami of Carnies and Hecklers will cause a WordPress server crash. Not to mention, I don’t have the attention span or stamina to read 716 comments.
2) People can vote for the ones they like best by typing “suck it, Le Clown!” or “like” or “razzle vajazzle” (little nod to Tracy there) under their fave suggestions.
3) Top “truth” and top “dare” will appear in a blog post, written and performed by Le Clown. The dare will be on video. That sound will be me laughing until I snot myself in the background.
4) Anyone can play, and give her/his points to the contestant(s) of their choice.
*no full frontal nudity, phone sex, or things that stain…I know, I’m a dick.
No.
Scoring:
One point for each suggestion (max two points). One point for every vote your suggestion gets (rally your troops, people). Top truth and top dare will receive seven points and Le Clown’s toenail clippings. You can donate your points. Points will be added to your total. I might randomly assign points just to fuck with you.
So have at ‘er, and show no merci.
A message from Lame Adventures:
Fellow Le Clowniacs, I’ve put more energy into Saturday’s challenge than in almost every romantic relationship I’ve had over the past ten years. That’s a weasel-way of admitting, “Prepare for disappointment, I’m an expert at giving it.” You guys all rocked and I seriously considered telling Le Clown, “Give everyone that participated 317 more clown noses immediately!” I knew that pushing that brainstorm would be subjecting myself to the wrath of bushy French Canadian eyebrows so I swallowed my gum and selected twelve — three for each animal. You’re all getting awarded four clown noses. To those of you that are not amongst the chosen twelve, consider the bright side — you didn’t have to get naked with me. 4 clown noses to all of you!
Animal Le Clown 1:
Ruby Tuesday: How long before they let me out of solitary?
The Waiting: I feel like camels were really underrepresented at the RNC.
Dockfam: I think the doc used too much botox…..
Animal Le Clown 2:
Tracy Fulks: I wonder what it’s like to be illegitimately aped?
Maggie O’C: It was the best of times, It was the worst of times.
Doggy’s Style: Hon, could you get me the remote?
Animal Le Clown 3:
Boomie Bol: Come back Madame Weebles, it’s so lonely here without you…
Alice At Wonderland: Man, Gary, sorry about your breakup. So does this mean Susan is free?
Miss Four Eyes: Come back down, I don’t smell that bad.
Animal Le Clown 4:
Curmudgeon-at-Large: On good days, I can touch the rocks.
RFL: Stripes gone rogue.
merlinspielen: Okay who put the Viagra in my oats?
Standings (as of Sunday, 11:59PM):
- Canvas of the Minds (Ruby Tuesday): 325 + 100 for completed bonus game! : 429
- A Rich Full Life (RFL): 209 + 35 points for completed bonus game!: 253.
- A Circus at the End of the World (Angel): 168 + 65 for completed bonus game! and this one: 243.
- Alice at Wonderland: 144 + 85 for completed bonus game and this: 232.
- Dockfam Adventures: 163 + 55 for completed bonus game!: 222.
- Tracy Fulks: 205.
- The Waiting (Emily): 204.
- Curmudgeon At Large: 180 + 20 for completed bonus game!: 202.
- Something Fat Happened (Maggie): 198.
- Merlin Spielen: 188.
- The Girl in the Cat Frame Glasses (Jenn): 163 – you owe Brother Jon big time.
- Doggy’s Style: 152.
- Miss Listed: 128.
- Boomie Bol: 120.
- Miss Four Eyes: 117.
- Lyssapants: 62.
- Daddy Ranman: 51.
- No Blog Intended: 47.
- Long Life Cats And Dogs: 36.
- Jiltaroo: 27.
- Dinnerversions: 17.
- Little Miss Obsessive’s Anatomy: 15.
- Bipolarmuse: 15.
- Chaotican: 9.
- Anansi the Poet: 7.
- Gin and Lemonade (LKD): 6.
A message from Le Clown: It’s the last day of the blogroll contest. It’s been an amazing ride, and a fierce competition. Thank you all of playing. Lame Adevntures‘ challenge was a tough one… And you still participated in large numbers… And look at the standings, too! Thank you LA, for being the mistress of the ceremonies, and going above and beyond (this sounds like the speech of a CEO of a very large corporation). For those who haven’t played the BONUS GAMES, there’s still time to earn some MEGA bonus clown noses… Just look at Tracy Fulks and her bonus games here and here… This is your ticket to coming back from behind, or creating a larger gap between you and your competitors.
Here’s the twist: I will open up 3 more spots on my blogroll!! I will give these spots to 3 of the contestants who have played until the very last day! This is my way of thanking you for making this blogroll contest the MEGA UBER success that it is. Good luck!
Like!!!
Posted by RFL | September 2, 2012, 16:12Point for liking!
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 16:26You are the best!
Posted by The Waiting | September 2, 2012, 16:57Le Emily is Le Genius. I want to see Le Clown on a skateboard.
Posted by rachelocal | September 2, 2012, 17:12Thank you so much. It sometimes takes genius to recognize genius.
Posted by The Waiting | September 2, 2012, 17:16For the genius comment.
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 19:07I donate my points to Jiltaroo..
Dare: I dare you to wear your clown nose while picking out lingerie for any lady of your choice.
Truth: Which blogger are you truly jealous of most.
Posted by John the Aussie | September 2, 2012, 17:13Truth: why are Le Clown and Eric so different?
Dare: Le Clown and Eric should interview each other. Via video.
Posted by John the Aussie | September 2, 2012, 17:58Points given to Jiltaroo! Thanks, John, and hope all is well!
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 18:10It’s flat out with work at the moment. Bring on RDO’s and JD’s.
One more dare.
Dare: Serenade a lamp post with Debbie Boones “You light up my life”, in the full Le Clown get-up.
Posted by John the Aussie | September 2, 2012, 18:14Me likey. LIKE for the dare. Very smart.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:18Dare: It better be me.
Truth: It better be me.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:47Truth: Le Clown is whimsical, wicked and wonderful. Eric is kind, courageous and captivating.
Dare: Recall your most embarrassing high school moment/memory on video (with props) or write it like a Shakespearean sonnet.
Posted by Brigitte | September 2, 2012, 18:10LIKE the dare. That could be great fun.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:19Brigitte,
Who would you like the points to be distributed to?
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 18:32I dig it.
Posted by rollergiraffe | September 2, 2012, 19:01Dig that (I’m guessing for Maggie):
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 20:37I’m back from my nap. My dare is done (well-done, in fact).
Here’s the question (truth): What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | September 2, 2012, 18:13He needs to pick just one?
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:20One point for you. It would be easier to say: Share a non-embarrassing moment.
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 18:33Truth: What secret thing do you do in the privacy that is truly weird, and that you haven’t already revealed on your blog?
Dare: I dare you to videotape yourself doing some “performance art” in a busy public venue that would include at least 3 of the following elements, yours to pick:
- an animal costume
- the song “Eye of the Tiger”
- a megaphone
- a plaid mini-skirt
- the poem “Cloony the Clown” by Shel Silverstein
-a Justin Bieber song – yours to choose
-a bunch of grapes
-a clown costume
-a corncob pipe
-the poem Porphyria’s Lover by Robert Browning
-fishnet stockings
-a lawn chair
-a southern (American) accent
-a skateboard
-an odd looking configuration of facial hair
Posted by misslisted | September 2, 2012, 18:33Miss Listed!
Happy to see you. I’m doing the happy dance!!!
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 18:34No you’re not. I deduct point from Le Clown for lying. It was only a Happy Wiggle.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:49I would very much like to see this. Razzle Vajazzle. times 2, because I can.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 18:52I think he should use ALL of those.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 18:56is there a “happy dance” emoticon? I bet there is. Still trying to convince Misterlisted to let me post his picture with Le Clown on my blog.
Posted by misslisted | September 2, 2012, 18:37Blur his face like I did for tomorrow…. Oops!
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 20:36he says he doesn’t care if you blur it. he says to use it.
Posted by misslisted | September 2, 2012, 21:35This isn’t a truth or a dare, but it’d be nice to have a list of all the contestants where we can click on them and visit each other and get no work done ever. I mean one without 5,000 comments because I am too lazy to load long pages.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 18:58I award you a point anyway. So there. Great Idea. A “round up” post. What say you, Le Clown?
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 19:01Yay, another point! Where the hell am I going to put all these noses?
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 19:02I would advise against asking that question on this thread, to these people.
Posted by saradraws | September 2, 2012, 19:09Good point. I really left myself open there . . . cough, nevermind.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 19:10Great idea. Tomorrow there will be a nice summarized version of the contestants list… Oh, and there’s a fucking blogroll for that, too. Pfft.
One point coming up.
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 19:17You are the best Canadian clown ev-ah.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 22:41Though not quite as great as Le Sara.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 2, 2012, 22:42The way to my heart is with flattery and wine. Then I;m yours.
Posted by saradraws | September 16, 2012, 10:42Hey – Thanks for following me – even though your very name makes me a little nervous….I have heard great things about your blog – I am intrigued (sp) to read (but maybe avoid the pictures). Please take no offense at my post about Coulrophobia in “Time to Label the Crazy” -
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 2, 2012, 21:09Rutabaga,
I will have to read that post… And don’t mind all that clown nonsense here… This guy is delusional. I am also afraid that you will have to go back quite a few posts if you want to read a proper article… This contest has taken over everything… Even my kids’ homework. Oh. And. Welcome on A Clown on Fire.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | September 2, 2012, 22:18hee hee…I’ve noticed quite a bruhaha surrounding your contest.
Despite the clown part – I do like the Canadian part – I’m a Canadian wannabe ~
And because I rely on shameless self-promotion….here’s a link if you desire…
http://themercenaryresearcher.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/time-to-label-the-crazy/
Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | September 2, 2012, 22:26Dare
Video of you singing to Fiona Apple.
Sadly, I’ve been too busy to fully compete. Can my points go to No Blog Intended?
Posted by Love & Lunchmeat | September 2, 2012, 22:33A very generous offer! I will give her your points!
Posted by Le Clown | September 3, 2012, 08:30Dare: Read the entire Fifty Shades series.
Truth: Tell us a sweet sappy story. Something that makes us go awww. In fact, get Eric to do it.
Posted by MissFourEyes | September 2, 2012, 22:57And this is for you!
Posted by Le Clown | September 3, 2012, 08:29I like the idea of seeing Le Clown have skateboarding adventures.
Posted by Angel Fractured | September 2, 2012, 23:32Late entry, because I’m always late. Truth – I challenge you to tell us the truth behind being able to blog for a living.
Dare – I dare you to, not only give me my noses for this late entry but also to add a few hundred additional noses, simply because it’s for a good cause and it has just taken me the better part of half an hour to type this, due to our fabulously slow internet connections.
Posted by Long Life Cats and Dogs | September 3, 2012, 02:53Yes. Who DO you blog for a living? You don’t even have those fabulous ads flashing and jumping and giving people seizures.
Posted by aliceatwonderland | September 3, 2012, 07:552 clown noses!! Yay!
Posted by Le Clown | September 3, 2012, 08:29Here’s a late late late entry, but mostly because I’m curious. I haven’t read through all 338(?) comments! Can’t wait to see what you post tomorrow.
Truth: How do you earn a living?
Dare: Put on your clown makeup, stand outside Guy metro station (for those outside Montreal: subway station downtown) with a bucket and a sign asking for spare change.
Posted by dinnerversions | September 3, 2012, 03:36Oh and if you do do this, you need to be on that corner for at least 2 hrs during business hours.
Posted by dinnerversions | September 3, 2012, 03:41Pour toi mon amie!
Posted by Le Clown | September 3, 2012, 08:23THE SMIIIITHS!!!
Sorry, sometimes, enthusiasm takes over.
Posted by No Blog Intended | September 3, 2012, 05:04Hey Le Clown,
Truth: Are you afraid of clowns?
Dare: I dare you to spend an entire day out and about, going about your business fully dressed as Le Cllown. That means going out for morning coffee, dropping kids at school, going to work, the movies, the park, lunch, whatever it is you do when you aren’t blogging. You should get out there and let the real world meet Le Clown, not just the blog world.
Also, I want to give my points to Miss Four Eyes.
Posted by Queen Gen | September 3, 2012, 05:342 points for Four Eyes!
Posted by Le Clown | September 3, 2012, 08:22I posted a photo on my site for you today (it wasn’t in any competition category unfortunately). I just thought you would like it.
http://jiltaroo.wordpress.com/2012/09/03/clown-on-a-wire/
It’s a bit creepy. Jen
Posted by jiltaroo | September 3, 2012, 06:16