Something funny happened on the way to Madame Weebles.
It was like a shot of Vitamin B-12, without the prick. Le Clown, inciting a riot… Sweet. I was elated. I walked around my flat, searching for the most strategic place where I could proudly display my You Have Not Been Freshly Pressed Today award. I removed my son’s kindergarten graduation pictures, my wedding pictures, my daughter’s first pictures – it wasn’t right. I threw away my other blogging awards: the Liebster, the Versatile Blogger, and the ABC … I couldn’t find the courage to get rid of my Alan Smithee Blog award. Aesthetically, my You Have Not Been Freshly Pressed Today award didn’t fit anywhere – it didn’t match with the colour palette of my couch; it wasn’t working with the feng shui of the bedroom. I sat down at my desk, and took a break by reading some of my old posts – don’t believe what your $150/hour therapist/psychiatrist might say, even if s/he’s already granted you 3 months of Effexor: nothing soothes the mind like stroking your own ego. Technology [and procrastination] ended up saving my day… What better place to exhibit my new almost award than on a WordPress blog post.
Shit… I almost forgot: Vagina. Hi, Michelle!