Part II. Fabulous soundtrack for this magnificent post: Cake – I Will Survive.
There used to be a name for being gay when you were straight: le metrosexual: David Beckham was a metrosexual, Tinky Winky was a metrosexual, although debatable - he’s purple and carries a handbag – and Le Clown was a metrosexual, or so said Cosmopolitan. Mark Simpson is responsible for coining the term metrosexual, back in 1994 [when you weren't born yet] in The Independent:
“Metrosexual man, the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city (because that’s where all the best shops are), is perhaps the most promising consumer market of the decade. In the Eighties he was only to be found inside fashion magazines such as GQ, in television advertisements for Levi’s jeans or in gay bars. In the Nineties, he’s everywhere and he’s going shopping.”
When I was 27 and thought to be homosexual because I enjoyed getting my hair done in beauty salons, wearing pink fitted shirts, and dabbed a little Clinique Happy for Men around the neck, it was not being tagged as a gay man that bothered me, but being tagged as a homosexual because I fitted the metrosexual mold. Stereotypes and Le Clown have never really co-habited well together. Even when we tried to be roomies, we couldn’t stand each other: Le Clown is opinionated and Stereotypes will do its best to squeeze him into a mold of conformity; Le Clown‘s gorgeous, and has pretty friends, while Stereotypes hangs out with Rush Limbaugh. A few more years living under the same roof and we would have had our own TLC show, scheduled right after My Teen Is Pregnant and So Am I. Being gay because I like to shop at Mexx is as offensive to Le Clown as stating that all Americans are bigots because they eat at Chick-Fil-A.
All Americans are bigots, regardless.
Le Clown agrees with Le Calahan’s comment: “Being gay isn’t a choice, but learning how to dress yourself is“. Well said, Le Calahan, I guess you sport an awful hairdo by choice. Being gay is not about your Abercrombie and Fitch shirt or about enjoying Robert Mapplethorpe‘s pictures like I do. Having gay friends and many platonic girlfriends like Le Clown does – A Clown on Fire‘s readership is 90% women – doesn’t define you as a gay man, it defines you as being
awesome fabulous magnificent. Now that Le Clown is 41, with a protuberant one-ab, and married (to a woman) with two kids, he doesn’t get the “you’re gay and that’s A-OK” comments so much anymore. When I’m seen walking in the streets of Montreal with my black AND gay best friend, people turn heads because 1) we look fabulous together and 2) I AM LE CLOWN, and it’s great to be me. And THAT is super.