Part I. Fabulous soundtrack for this magnificent post: Pet Shop Boys – Go West.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of McJobs. Le Clown worked as a customer service representative. He was 27 and handsome like a young Hugh Grant. Just… more… manly. Or so he thought.
Le Clown wears pink; it’s a colour that fits perfectly with his skin complexion. Le Clown thinks he’s quite fashionable, even though he’s an 80′s child: he goes to the gym, he has magnificent biceps, he plucks his eyebrows, trims his body hair, and bundles up in brands. He’s his biggest fan… turn him into a flower, see if he cares… He’ll be the most colourful of all flowers. Heck, Narcissus… How about we call you Le Clown from now on?
Le Clown on the cover of Malegender. In your face, America’s Next Top Model and Italian Vogue.
It’s a Wednesday morning, not that it matters. Le Clown puts his headset on – calls will start flowing in. The hair is waxed, the forearms are freshly trimmed – Le Clown looks outright fabulous. There are a few minutes to chat with the cute colleague:
- Le Clown, she says, great shirt! Is it from Club Monaco?
- Yes it is, Le Clown replies. They have amazing sales right now.
- You have exquisite taste Le Clown. But then again, you’re gay…
- Criiiitch, scraatch!!! [the sound of a scratched vinyl record, right? Come on! Right?].
Le Clown – as a gay homosexual - was going to be a recurring theme in his life.
- Gay? What gives you that idea?
- You’re not? Are you sure? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
- Why would you say that? Le Clown replies while adjusting his very tight pink V-neck shirt.
- Well… she says…
- You’re well spoken… [So is Anderson Cooper Doogie Howser Alex Trebek]
- You dress like a fashion icon… [So does David Beckham].
- You’re fit… [So is everyone at the YMCA Geraldo Rivera].
- And you’re into the arts. [So was Bob Ross].
- [Silence].
- That makes me magnificent, no?… Not. Gay. [Stupid fag hag].
She turns around, humming, and while the melody is literally indistinguishable, Le Clown recognizes Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out.
I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is: scarf, blazer, sunglasses, argyle shirt, awesome hair, confident. Gay? Hipster? Douche? … Le Clown.
In part II (Friday) Le Clown will discuss the intricacies of being gay when you’re straight.
See, what everyone needs to do to even begin to get a handle on trying to determine if someone is gay or straight is work in theatre. I worked for the Shaw Festival for a couple of years, from usher to Assistant to the Audience Services Director (THAT’S a “career” story all by itself), where it got to the point that you assumed everyone was gay unless you heard otherwise.
Now, I can tell from 50 feet if someone is gay or straight. It was quite the education.
I do, however, look forward to Le Clown discussing the intricacies of being gay when you’re straight. THAT should be…umm…interesting. Yes. Interesting.
Posted by meizac | August 1, 2012, 07:25Meizac,
I know there’s humour in what you say, and I know there’s truth in it too – and I quote you: “[...] Everyone [...] needs [...] to get a handle on [...] how
ever[...] magnificent (I’m just paraphrasing) [...] Le Clown [...] is”.Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:15And here I thought there was no way you could crack that code. Well done (or something like that).
Posted by meizac | August 1, 2012, 10:34Meizac,
There was so much more to your comment, but I must also cater to my other guests. Another time, perhaps.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:43I’ve had to deal with something similar. I grew up as a good Catholic boy, meaning that early on I decided to wait until I was married to have sex. Because of this I ended up being a bit of a late bloomer. A guy I know would ask me, every time he saw me “getting laid?” and I would always say no. The next question was always “you gay?” This happened for about ten years, then a did “get laid” but the bad part is he’s never around anymore.
Posted by Brother Jon | August 1, 2012, 07:27Brother Jon,
That’s insane, man. Really? If it would have been me, I would have said “yes”. I mean, being gay is so much cooler than being catholic.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:21For the record, this post makes me love you more, if that was possible. I feel like there’s this male/ female continuum and we all fall somewhere on that line. I was never attracted to the Marlboro man at the end of the line. I’m more of a Hugh Grant, David Cassidy, sort. I don’t care for the metro guy that’s more into himself than I am but somewhere in that vicinity. Tim Roth in “Rob Roy” confused me and excited me at the same time. Yeah, the man that embraces his feminine side and pink shirts is a big turn on.
Posted by A gripping life | August 1, 2012, 07:32Grippy,
Thank you. For must, that “ambiguity” is just that: ambiguity. For others, it’s a difference, and for the Tinky Winkys of this world, it means you like to wear your purse while making out with a man. For some, at least. Of course.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 07:48You just have a European sensibility about you (as do all who hail from your fine city) and most Americans (at least) equate those details with “gay”.
Posted by DeeDee | August 1, 2012, 07:34DeeDee,
Absolutely: being effeminate and enjoying shows like Project Runway makes a man like penes.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 07:44Philosophers like Penses.
Posted by Brent Waggoner | August 1, 2012, 15:06Brent,
Italians like Penne.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 15:08Any man who can wear pink scores multiple points in my book.
Posted by boomiebol | August 1, 2012, 07:56Boomie,
Pink is the new coonskin caps.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:03Do you know how I can get a subscription to that magazine? I really want to read the article on how I can increase my sex life with a plasma TV. That sounds perfect to me.
Posted by speaker7 | August 1, 2012, 08:01Speaker 7,
That magazine was discontinued. What editor in his/her right mind would put an article about Woody Allen and Eric Robillard in the same number. Cosmo wouldn’t do it…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:06hahahahahaha!
As a member of the opposite sex, that has been mistaken for gay and straight at different points in her short life… I find this funny.
You are who you are, hipster douche-bagged-ness and all. If they could only see you NOW… in all your one-ab magnificence.
THAM
Posted by the howler and me | August 1, 2012, 08:05THAM,
What’s an “opposite sex”? Is it a boy/girl band? Is it a Physics’ equation? Or are you just trying to be cool – I say no, you say yes; I say I’m magnificent, you agree – type of thing?
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:33Le Clown,
It’s a contrary boy band… (I think) or is it a girl-band like the Spice Girls? Either way they have NO Talent… and swing both ways…
AND I don’t have to TRY and be cool… I am cool. To the point that I think I need to find a sweater…
THAM
Posted by the howler and me | August 1, 2012, 08:38(Le) Clown,
When is the movie, Being Le Clown, coming out? Le Clown? Le Clown, Le Clown Le Clown Le Clown. Le Clown!
Le Clown,
Owl
Posted by owl | August 3, 2012, 18:56I went on a date with a guy who I thought was gay when I first met him. Then I heard him talking about angry F’ing this girl who is Seminole fan because he’s a Gator (It’s a Florida thing, you wouldn’t understand). Then one day, not too long after I had gotten dumped he asked me on a date and I knew he was the answer to my break up doldrums. This in no way intimates that I had angry sex with him, just that sometimes that seemingly gayest of men can me the most manly dudes ever. Happy Wednesday!
Posted by Adrienne schmadrienne | August 1, 2012, 08:25Adrienne,
Was having sex with a man the reasons you developed a passion for golf? It seems pretty obvious to me.
And Le Clown is a conundrum that way: he can be as virile as the Old Spice Guy – only paler – and as fabulous as Betty White – only much, much younger.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:40Hahaha, such wonky reasoning!
The Old Spice Guy AND Betty White?! Hysterical and quite enigmatic!
Posted by Adrienne schmadrienne | August 1, 2012, 08:46That magazine cover is cracking me up. Funny post!
Posted by RFL | August 1, 2012, 08:31Rachelle,
It’s a magazine for a man’s man. I heard women who try reading it bleed from the eyes, but not in a sexy True-Blood-Eric type of way.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:41Wait, like the Virgin Mary weep-bleeding from the eyes? Also, I never thought you were gay, just fancy. Just saying.
Posted by La La | August 1, 2012, 11:19La La,
The Virgin Mary bleeding from the eyes is fucking creepy, while Alexander Skarsgård weeping blood is a better moisturizer for women than anything Clarins has ever put on the market.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 13:52It is so creepy. I can’t believe they thought we would end up “normal.”
Posted by La La | August 1, 2012, 13:55La La,
Normal? I’m anything but normal. Fucking magnificent is Le Clown.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 13:56This post is funny, no doubt….but the comment that being gay is so much cooler than being Catholic = funniest ever.
Posted by Alex Autin | August 1, 2012, 08:45Alex,
You’re back! White Baby Jesus appeared in my thoughts right after the comment, and told me he laughed so hard that it made the holes in his hands hurt a bit.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 08:54This should be your mantra. Perhaps a sign on your desk that states this. It should be pink like your shirt, pretty in pink like you and fit, with straight lean lines — like Le Clown. It should say this:
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
(really, you trim your arm hair?)
Le Clown is very secure in his masculinity.
Posted by Brigitte | August 1, 2012, 09:13Brigitte,
I like the mantra. Although I would probably modify it a tad [so that my gay/straight readers wont think I think they hate me for thinking that I’m gay (which I am not) – cause you know how sensitive gay people are, right, (right, gay people?) – cause being gay is A-OK). Now where was I? Yes… The mantra would be:
“Kiss me because I’m beautiful. But not on the mouth, nor on the cheeks. Actually, don’t kiss me.”
And yes, I used to trim my body hair – arms, legs, chest – and go at the gym something sane like…. 8-10 times a week….
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 09:23I used to be one of those gym rats myself — years ago and then I got tired of sweating so much. So I go, but I don’t sweat as much and don’t go as much. Guess I’m a gym mouse now.
Posted by Brigitte | August 1, 2012, 11:00I’ll sing to you, too.
I love you juuuuuuuuust the wayyyyyyyyy you aaaaaaaaare…
Posted by mylifeisthebestlife | August 1, 2012, 09:16MLITBL:
You sing as beautifully as Chris Brown. Just don’t beat me up, please.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 09:43I second Alex Autin. That comment made me laugh so hard I hurt myself.
When I lived in Switzerland back in 2000 I was pretty sure all the men were gay. Of course, back then North American men were wearing pants belted around their knees and shirts 2 sizes too big. If hipster was a thing back then I would have thought nothing of it.
Posted by shanz83 | August 1, 2012, 09:22Shan,
Swiss men are often misconstrued for being homosexuals. I think it’s because The Sound of Music partly takes place in the Swiss mountains.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:01Weird how often we’re in tune. I had been thinking about writing a post called, “I’m not gay, I’m a libra,” addressing the very same thing. Thanks to the alignment of the stars on the night I was born, I have a taste for the finer things in life and can be something of a dandy if I don’t keep myself in check.
Posted by transparentguy | August 1, 2012, 09:44Transman,
Which makes you obviously gay, right? At least, that’s what my mom would say…
Le Clown
PS: We are often synced… Absolutely. I raise my bubbly water glass to you.
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:05I just had chai latte and cruised through the latest entries on http://www.thesartorialist.com/
… and I thought about YOU the entire time, thinking “I’ll never be as cool as Le Clown. Never.”
Posted by transparentguy | August 1, 2012, 10:12Transman,
Le Clown just wears a cool outfit, and only pretends he likes AdBusters. You, on the other thing, are the real cool. Like Miles.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:29So how many guys gave you their phone numbers, Le Clown? You left out that part.
Posted by Madame Weebles | August 1, 2012, 09:45Madame Weebles,
Part II: Friday.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 09:49This made me laugh so hard I nearly snorted pop out of my nose. Okay, I didn’t actually come anywhere close to doing that, but that’s only because it’s first thing in the morning, so I’m lying in bed, not drinking pop. Otherwise I totally would have.
Posted by Ruby Tuesday | August 1, 2012, 09:54Ruby,
Being gay is a subject I should have made fun of months back. And here I thought poking fun at White Baby Jesus would give me legions of readers. Wait… it did. And a prominent place in Hell, too.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:19If I believed in Hell, I would tell you that’s where all the interesting people will be. But since it’s Hell, you’ll know they are there, but never get close enough to see or talk to them.
Posted by Ruby Tuesday | August 1, 2012, 10:38Pink brilliance. I would expect nothing less.
Posted by Fish Out of Water | August 1, 2012, 10:08Fish,
I take little sun during summer, and I’ve been known to use “pink” as camouflage, so I can walk anonymously in the streets of Montreal. Being Le Clown carries a certain burden.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:58I can’t imagine the pressure of being Le Clown. It’s a good thing YOU are Le Clown. A lesser bloke couldn’t handle it.
Posted by Fish Out of Water | August 1, 2012, 11:01Being meticulous with your appearance makes you gay? I need to have a serious conversation with Mr. Giraffe.
Posted by rollergiraffe | August 1, 2012, 10:18RG,
So say we all [I'm sorry, I geeked out there for a second]. So said my colleague, yes. And my dad (don’t you go telling people you like Almodovar, son… everyone will think you’re a gay homosexual). And White Baby Jesus. But that’s just because he’s a fashion victim and he’s envious of my magnificence.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:22If you’re a “gay homosexual” does that actually mean you’re straight?
Posted by meizac | August 1, 2012, 10:40Meizac,
No, it means I watch South Park.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 10:57Meizac,
I was wondering the same thing. But it could just be a redundancy, like being the Magnificent Le Clown.
Owl
Posted by owl | August 3, 2012, 18:58Maybe you just have a quality? I know a couple of people who think I have a ‘quality’. I have yet to find out if I do though
Posted by MissFourEyes | August 1, 2012, 10:41Miss Four Eyes,
Le Clown has many qualities. In fact, Le Clown only has qualities.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:25“…being gay is so much cooler than being Catholic” . You have to make that into a bumper sticker. Or a variation on the jesus fish thingy people put on their cars. (my personal fave is the Darwin fish–same as the jesus fish but with legs. Do you see these around in Mtl much?)
Posted by dinnerversions | August 1, 2012, 11:00DV,
I have seen the White Baby Jesus fish sticker many times on car, and I have to thank The Ringmistress for explaining what it was to me… I thought for the longest time that it was the logo for the Carnivorous like me, and thought it was pretty lame, as it should be something in the vicinities of the face of a man eating a bear, raw, unless the bear was cured, with nitrates.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:28I’ve known several gay men who have no sense of style whatsoever. Being gay isn’t a choice, but learning how to dress yourself is.
Posted by calahan | August 1, 2012, 11:07Le Calahan,
Same here, part II will cover this. The social stereotypes can be overwhelming, really.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:09I feel your pain. I’m often mistaken for straight. When Milton and I are out together, people assume we’re married.
P.S. The Malegender magazine cover is magnifique. It’s your Nadia moment — a perfect 10 in hilarious.
Posted by lameadventures | August 1, 2012, 11:28V,
Thank you!
I’m so sorry you’re mistaken for being straight occasionally… I like being mistaken for being gay; it gives me discounts at the supermarket.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:30Where do you shop? Since we’re black and white and we look educated (we both wear glasses) we always get great tables in restaurants.
Posted by lameadventures | August 1, 2012, 11:56V,
So that was you at Gray’s Papaya?
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:58That comment just made me realize that Milton doesn’t do tube sausage. There’s some oxy-moronics in that.
Posted by lameadventures | August 1, 2012, 12:01V,
You win. Hands down.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 12:05Where I live, sometimes when a man wears pink shirts it means he’s comfortable with his sexuality . . . his straight sexuality, that is. He knows he’s straight, and that’s all that matters.
Posted by Angel Fractured | August 1, 2012, 11:43Angel,
Exactly! A real man will wear pink, just not plaid, nor will he eat quiche.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 11:45You and your Photoshopping techniques are awesome… just like any gay homosexual.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | August 1, 2012, 13:51CaL,
I’d say “fabulous” myself instead of “awesome”, but semantics, right?
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 13:55Fabulous, Le Clown, just fabulous.
Posted by Curmudgeon-at-Large | August 1, 2012, 16:25Best Seinfeld line ever . . . “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
I do love the added touch of your scarf.
Posted by robincoyle | August 1, 2012, 13:57Robin,
I do love the “master of my domain” and the “they’re real- and they’re spectacular” ones myself!
Madame Weebles and I were talking this morning, and both felt you were the real deal when it came to the “blogger-writer”.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:01How about “shrinkage,” “yada, yada, yada,” and “Festivus for the rest of us?” Oh, and “sponge-worthy.” Geez, that was a great show.
Talking about me behind my back? Do tell . . . feed my ego and let me know what you and MW said!
Oh, and why did Peter reply to my comment. Did his comment land in the wrong spot?
Posted by robincoyle | August 1, 2012, 14:18Robin,
Peter doesn’t live on the blogosphere. He’s a Facebooker who got lost.
Senfield was great. I’m also glad it is over. It stopped at the right time.
About what MW and Le Clown talked about… I’ll never tell. I’ll just write about it next week.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:21Darn it. I hate suspense. I will sit on the edge of my chair until your post.
You are right. The show stopped while they were still fresh.
Posted by robincoyle | August 1, 2012, 14:27Loved this article especially…..But I thought you once were gay. No?
Posted by Peter | August 1, 2012, 14:03Peter,
Thank you. And yes, I’ve always been happy as a clam.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:04Back in the 80s I thought my first husband was gay. In the 80s you guys couldn’t help it. I mean Benetton, hello?!
Le Clown you are Le Gay and Le Hysterical!!
xo
Posted by Maggie O'C | August 1, 2012, 14:08Maggie,
In the 80′s, we were all fabulous! Everything was neon, big hair, make-up and new wave. We. Were. Magnificent.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:27I have the Pet Shop Boys Greatest Hits on cassette and cd.
Talk about Le 80s
Posted by Maggie O'C | August 1, 2012, 14:29No one has ever guessed that I am gay. I think I must be doing it wrong.
Posted by nevercontrary | August 1, 2012, 14:15NC,
I’m sorry… Does it mean you never received your “Gay Discount” card? I combine mine with the “Senior Discount” card and I eat free virtually anywhere… No one ever asks me for proof if I wear my old pink cardigan.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:18I have not received the discount card, the gay agenda for taking over the world, or the toaster ellen promised me. Curses. Maybe I should get some combat boots and shave my head… or not.
Posted by nevercontrary | August 1, 2012, 14:20NC,
I haven’t touched this part yet, and I’m hoping to cover it in Part II, but yes… Socially, in mainstream:
1 – To be gay means to be pretty, fit, style-conscious;
2 – To be a lesbian means to be a butch, tough looking, with combat boots…
Generalisations, of course, but stereotypes that still live in mainstream media.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:25Le Clown,
I was once engaged to a gay brit who didn’t know he was gay yet. Neither did I. All brits are really a little gay, anyways. Anyways, when he found out, we (he) obviously decided getting unengaged would be the best idea. Agreement seemed the best option.
My gaydar is still only slightly better than before, but you never tripped mine. (Not that it’s any consolation after a story like that)
xoxo, Peaches.
Posted by Peaches | August 1, 2012, 14:28Peaches,
“All brits are really a little gay”… Like all Americans are a little homophobic?
LOL.Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 14:31correct (except i’m not)
Posted by Peaches | August 1, 2012, 14:42First of all, the PSB’s Go West is a great song!
Secondly…and this is kind of awkward. But if I’m reading this post right, it’s all about how you were mistaken for gay, but that you’re really not gay. You’re not?
Seriously, though–I had a thematically similar experience once, only the person wasn’t half so pleasant.
Posted by Smaktakula | August 1, 2012, 15:32Smak,
Pet Shop Boys have great many songs. And while driving, it is almost irreplaceable as music. And I am not gay. Even my “gay” experiences are too straight to be deemed gay, and too boring for such a fabulous post.
As for your similar experience… I don’t know if I have the courage to ask you for details…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 16:08I so love giving you a hard time but I’m tired today and this post made me smile, OK, maybe even laugh (a little) out loud. Thanks LeC.
=)
Posted by Stacie Chadwick | August 1, 2012, 16:27Stacie,
Hope your evening allows you to ease down and take it slow. Take good care of you, friend.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 16:29Le Clown – I love my straight gays almost as much as I love my gay gays.
Love,
TWTG
Posted by thewhitetrashgourmet | August 1, 2012, 16:32TWTG,
We feel the love, Kim, we do feel it. Almost as much as a Bette Midler song.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 16:36Wow this is so eerily my own mid 80′s. experience. No one directly voiced the “are you gay” connection – but I knew it was pondered. Because I was a lesbian magnet. Yes lesbian’s flocked to me. In the 80′s it was considered bad form to attend certain social functions as a lesbian couple – so I would get asked by a young lady to be her escort to an event. And oh could her single friend join us? Thinking it was because I was a manly stud I would say – “hell yeah”. And dream of the late night tangle that would follow. Then they would explain I was just to play the part of the straight man. I had no idea this was a comedy routine. Oh and I had a (clean) car. This happened not just once – but a half-dozen times. I was considered so safe in my role that on two occasions – when we realized we were all too drunk to drive home- we shared a hotel room. Once it was a room with a single king bed. Yes I slept with two lesbians. I slept – they did other things. I think that is called a Menage-a-frustrated. The other time at least had two double beds. Again I slept – they did other things. Sigh.
Posted by merlinspielen | August 1, 2012, 18:23Merlin,
Ok. Why haven’t we been talking before today? And you are a fellow Canadian, my friend Madame Weebles tells me? So much time wasted…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 18:52So are you saying this is a Canadian issue?
I am sorry if I misunderstood.
By the way I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay
We haven’t spoken cause usually all the good comments have been made so I just keep quiet and laugh along with the crowd.
Today I had a story to add. Of course the danger is once I start talking I don’t shut up.
Posted by merlinspielen | August 1, 2012, 19:00Merlin,
Please speak out, from now on. Even if you are paraphrasing another comment. Even if you are from Toronto. I will not hold it against you, I mean, not for the first few weeks.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 19:02Whew not from Toronto. I have passed the first test!
Posted by merlinspielen | August 1, 2012, 19:03Le Gay Clown. I like it.
Posted by writerwendyreid | August 1, 2012, 18:39Wendy,
I would prefer Le Fabulous Clown.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 19:34I know you would. Magnificently Gay Clown?? lol
Posted by writerwendyreid | August 1, 2012, 19:37a confident man is sexy — no matter what color or style or sexual orientation. And You dear Le Clown are sexy as hell
My husband wears pink and he is the bomb..
UBS
Posted by unfetteredbs | August 1, 2012, 20:22Ps– I am short and athletic looking– often people are shocked that I am married to a penis and have kids…. if they read my blog they would pass out.. haaa
Posted by unfetteredbs | August 1, 2012, 20:24UnfetteredBS,
One day, your hubby and I will go for coffee, to talk about the good old WordPress days. And bystanders will be looking at us, with envy: Look at these gorgeous fags, and it won’t be about the pack of smokes on the table, but about our awesome one-abs hidden under our pink tutus.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 20:26and I’ll be hiding under the table getting a peek at what lies under the tutus…haa
Posted by unfetteredbs | August 1, 2012, 20:28UnfetteredBS,
Adult diapers.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 20:30haaaa.. you are a quick witted fellow
Posted by unfetteredbs | August 1, 2012, 20:36Did she really say, “not that there’s anything wrong with that”? Was this pre- or post-Seinfeld? I love how this is what I go to considering that there are about 1,543,235 things I could say about this post.
Posted by The Waiting | August 1, 2012, 20:37Emily,
That episode of Senfeld aired for the first time in 1993. If I was 27 by then, it would make me 46 today. Ouch!
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 21:11I’m trying to come up with an “old soul” comment and absolutely nothing is coming to me. {Steps away embarrassed from the computer.}
Posted by The Waiting | August 1, 2012, 21:20I have that outfit only I wear a Victoria’s secret tank underneath the blazer.
Posted by Natasiarose | August 1, 2012, 21:50Natasia,
Were you also on America’s Next Top Model? I don’t recall all the models I competed against…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 1, 2012, 22:22Oh, you know, after hanging around for a few hundred years, I say the gender-bendy-er the better. Why be boring, darling?
Posted by Eva Halloween | August 1, 2012, 23:25Eva,
I’ve heard Neil Gaiman was going to immortalize you as one of his Eternals in a future graphic novel.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 21:09Well, you ARE one sweet-talking clown, but I feel like I got my due in Stranger in a Strange Land.
Posted by Eva Halloween | August 3, 2012, 22:06It’s not that you’re straight, you just haven’t met the right guy… yet
Posted by pinkagendist | August 2, 2012, 06:05Pink Agendist,
Exactly! I haven’t heard that one before…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 2, 2012, 07:25May your new found choice bring you joy and men
Posted by daddyranman | August 2, 2012, 08:16DaddyRanman,
My new found choice is bringing me followers, galore. Thanks.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 2, 2012, 17:48Please send me the article on how to improve my sex life with a plasma tv.
Lately, my tv only wants to have sex when I Love Lucy reruns are on.
I didn’t realize you trimmed your arm hair. I thought you’d go out to have it “sculpted”.
That’s what all the hip gay folk are doing.
…Or so I’ve been told…
Posted by El Guapo | August 2, 2012, 11:17Guapo,
I’m old. I have abandoned all hope. I can now make a wig out of the nose hair I trim.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 21:06Let me adjust my Gaydar here……
Posted by springfieldfem | August 2, 2012, 11:34Jenn,
Objects in the gaydar may appear closer than they are…
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 21:04Le Clown, you are magnificent, not fabulous. Perhaps you’re gay in an alternate universe? Maybe you’d talk a walk on the bi-side if given half a chance. Who cares? It’s none of no one else’s business anyway.
Posted by purplemary54 | August 2, 2012, 12:16PurpleMary54,
What I am, 100%, no doubt about it, is a big nerd… One magnificent nerd, that is.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 21:02Hello,
What a jovial gay post…in both senses of the word!
The magazine cover…a touch of class if I do say so myself.
You entertain well Le Clown. I vote for your fame…
Posted by slapppshot | August 2, 2012, 13:14Slapppshot,
Guten tag, my Swedish friend.
Have a great night. Oyasuminasai.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 21:00Thus was the term “Metrosexual” born…
Posted by Kana Tyler | August 2, 2012, 21:48Kana,
Thus was the topic of my Friday post.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 08:20Ha, am I good or what?
Posted by Kana Tyler | August 3, 2012, 10:46Kana,
You are blogging royalty alright.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 10:48Le Clown,
I love gay straight people, so you’re alright by me. I meet so many of them in theater. But so often they really do turn out to be gay. . .
Mo
Posted by travellingmo | August 2, 2012, 22:36Mo,
It’s a good point. Sometimes, the pot needs to call the kettle black.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 08:19I love straight men in pink… it is HOT. I do get nervous when my guy friend wears pink, wants to shop, and picks better clothes than me. The gay thing is always in the back of my mind. Just sayin
Posted by bipolarmuse | August 3, 2012, 13:30BPMuse,
Hey, having fabulous taste is anyone’s game… Just sayin’.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | August 3, 2012, 20:54