A Saturday afternoon musing, brought to you by Le Clown.
Hey you, bloggers, facebookers, tweeters, poets and loudmouths… When you voice out your opinion, and you make a valid point [scratch that... even if you sound like an idiot], no matter how unpopular it might be, own it; don’t LOL it.
I was drunk driving last night and I killed your baby girl. LOL.
I’d like to see a picture of your dick. 
I slept with your husband. 
Le Clown, you’re hot. 
Americans are dumb rednecks in love with their guns and White Baby Jesus. 
Fuck emoticons… unless they look like Le Clown.
Le King
I completely agree with you, man. (Smiley winking face)
Posted by billmcmorrow | July 28, 2012, 13:51Bill,
You’re a suck up. LOL.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:22Emoticons are the Devil’s alphabet!
Posted by Smaktakula | July 28, 2012, 13:52Smak,
You made Le Clown chuckle.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 14:18I hear you but sometimes, stuff doesn’t translate and I’m way too sensitive to anger someone. How about this:
It’s supposed to come across as an “twisted” face which is quite fitting for Le Clown humor methinks.
But I HATE the freakin’ LOL thing. Happy Saturday to you and your family.
Posted by Brigitte | July 28, 2012, 13:54Brigitte,
I will work on my own emoticon. Thank you for the inspiration. A happy Saturday to you, and your loved ones.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 14:17Please make the Le Clown emoticon available to all.
Posted by jmlindy422 | July 28, 2012, 14:18You get bonus points today, Le Clown, for including an excerpt from the Gashlycrumb Tinies, my favorite Edward Gorey story ever.
Now blow me. LOL
Posted by Madame Weebles | July 28, 2012, 14:10Madame Weebles,
Correction: A revised, and improved, version of the Gashlycrumb Tinies.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 14:15You are correct, of course. Mea culpa.
Posted by Madame Weebles | July 28, 2012, 14:17Three cheers for White Baby Jesus!
Posted by Christopher | July 28, 2012, 14:13Christopher,
Silence.
Birds chirping.
Silence.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 14:14Emoticons seem unavoidable like death, taxes and irritating opening ceremonies at the Olympic games.
Posted by lameadventures | July 28, 2012, 14:15V,
[Insert Grin Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:26I had a lovely morning of emoticon-free total ownership myself. . . But then, that’s me.
Posted by Ruby Tuesday | July 28, 2012, 14:24Ruby,
[Insert Wink Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:27What about an emoticon in the image of Le Clown?
Posted by calahan | July 28, 2012, 14:26Le Calahan,
I’m working on it. [Insert RAZZ Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:28Hey Le Clown, what’re you so angry about — lol!
Posted by Sword-chinned bitch | July 28, 2012, 14:33☮ ✔ シ ✌ ♋ ℃
oh boy I coulda had fun with this and really irked you!! ☛
Posted by free penny press | July 28, 2012, 14:44Lynne™,
You’®e ©leve®.
Le ©lown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:30This post made me LOL all over my pants. LOL stands for Spray Shit Everywhere, right? Cuz that’s what I did
Posted by speaker7 | July 28, 2012, 14:56Speaker7,
Have you considered adult diapers? [Insert SHY Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:31Le Clown,
ESAD while you FTW LOL.
THAM
Posted by the howler and me | July 28, 2012, 15:31THAM,
ROFLMAOWEABSWWXFOTVBIIGTWXFANBISTSOOY.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:34BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
you win again Le Clown.
Posted by the howler and me | July 28, 2012, 17:36Emoticons are the internet way of adding “just saying” to the end of a comment. If you don’t agree with someone say it or fuck off if you haven’t got the cojones.
Posted by draconianstylist | July 28, 2012, 15:35DS,
Amen to that [Insert YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:35If I were to use words instead of an emoticon (which I can’t do correctly, anyway, and can only use my stupid keyboard symbols—the others are there somewhere, I just don’t know how to get to them), all of my comments would be posts. In fact, many of my comments ARE posts (see, I don’t even know how to italicize in comments). I very, very, very seldom use lol and its derivatives because I need letters to spell words–even if they’re my own made-up-because-I-have-a-degree-in-creative-writing-so-I-have-poetic-license words. I like blushing emoticons, smiling emoticons, crying emoticons, clown emoticons–well, ok, clown emoticons not so much–but if I use them or even slip once in a while and use lol and its derivatives, you have the freedom of speech to call me out on it. Of course, I, moderating all of my comments, have the freedom of moderation to cut you off at the red nose. If anyone should have a red nose. Now, aren’t you sorry you even brought up this silly little irker of yours? In the words of the immortal Ms. Mini Magnifent Mom Meizac–pftt.
Posted by paralaxvu | July 28, 2012, 15:50OK, so I misspelled Magnificent. So lol me.
Posted by paralaxvu | July 28, 2012, 15:51And, actually, it’s pffftt….
Posted by meizac | July 28, 2012, 16:11Meizac,
Pfft®
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:41I think that should be a copyright icon, not a registration mark…
Posted by paralaxvu | July 28, 2012, 21:16ParalaxVu,
I like your 1971 picture. [Insert MELANCHOLIA Emoticon].
Le Random Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:36I will now use more emoticons. Except not on this comment, because I want you to know I mean it.
Posted by meizac | July 28, 2012, 16:13Meizac,
I will delete all of your comments, except this one, because I want you to know I mean it.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 16:49
Posted by meizac | July 28, 2012, 16:52I have a friend who peppers LOL in every thing she writes. Drives me nuts. LOL
Posted by robincoyle | July 28, 2012, 17:31Robin,
Time to unfriend, perhaps? [Insert MRGREEN Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:43I’ve considered it, believe me!
Posted by robincoyle | July 28, 2012, 18:05Okay, okay–I’ll stop winking at you, Le Clown! (But it won’t be easy…)
Posted by Robin Jean Marie | July 28, 2012, 17:41Robin,
I’ll stop nudge nudge at you, then [Insert Monty Python Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 17:45See? I want to wink so badly, right now!
Posted by Robin Jean Marie | July 28, 2012, 18:32Le Clown – no more smiles for you. Sticking tongue out instead. Fuck that was a lot of typing to say :p
TWTG
Posted by thewhitetrashgourmet | July 28, 2012, 17:55TWTG,
[Insert FUCK YEAH Emoticon]!
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 18:22Le Clown –
You really do make me laugh out loud. I like it. It makes everyone wonder about my mental state. It’s good to keep my kids on edge.
TWTG
Posted by thewhitetrashgourmet | July 28, 2012, 18:29I suggest the following Le Clown avatar based emoticons
Smitey Face
Shitey Face
Fuck Face
SitOn Face
FistToThe Face
PinkEye Face
WhiteBabyJesus Face
Posted by Ape No. 1 | July 28, 2012, 17:56Ape,
Pinkeye Face. A must. [Insert Le Clown Face].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 18:24*:o) Clown emoticon.
Posted by saradraws | July 28, 2012, 18:45The Ringmistress,
You’ve googling, haven’t you? Resourceful, you are. [Insert Yoda Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 18:46Also <*:oDX
Posted by saradraws | July 28, 2012, 18:46The Ringmistress,
[Insert IDEM Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 18:47I still like my emoticons *insert sad face*
Posted by Peaches | July 28, 2012, 20:47Peaches,
[Insert Fp'd Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 22:21I agree with you. If you are going to say something blunt and it’s true, there shouldn’t be any emoticons or LOLs. I do like emoticons though, but there aren’t enough dark ones. When they come up with faces that say “go fuck yourself” and “eat shit and die”, I will die happy.
Posted by writerwendyreid | July 28, 2012, 21:42Wendy,
[Insert Your Mom Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 28, 2012, 22:22Busted! I’m so guilty of this. You’ve completely exposed me and you’re right. Why should I care if people misinterpret my subtle, unique and twisted sense of humor? Why should I care if people think badly of me? I shouldn’t and I won’t, damn it. Well, I’ll see how it goes. The fact of the matter is LOl’s and happy faces soothe my worried soul.
I love Edward Gorey. I’m sure he’d approve of the new change.
Posted by A gripping life | July 28, 2012, 23:11Grippy,
[Insert YOU'RE AWESOME Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 12:52Sarcasm doesn’t always translate so well when written. I’ll stick with the smiley’s, thanks.
Posted by El Guapo | July 29, 2012, 00:02Oh, but I don’t use lol or any other internet acronym like that. If I do one of those things, I’ll spell it out. Because I know english.
Posted by El Guapo | July 29, 2012, 01:26Guapo,
My favourite acronym (used in a sentence):
I wish everyone would send l.e.c.l.o.w.n. some money.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 08:04I admit, I do the lol thing . . . but it is because I am actually being amused at what I’m writing. Even if it doesn’t sound amusing, probably. I have a strange since of humor. LOL!
Posted by Angel Fractured | July 29, 2012, 01:16Angel,
[Insert Fuck Emoticons Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 08:05The LOLs must die!
Posted by MissFourEyes | July 29, 2012, 01:24Miss Four Eyes,
[insert RIP Emoticons Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 07:55I quite like emoticons, as long as they are used sparingly and appropriately, but I really hate LOL, particularly when people use it at the end of something they have said themselves as if they are laughing at their own joke because they think they are soooooo funny. If we have to be told that something is funny by the use of LOL then it probably isn’t funny.
Posted by Vanessa Chapman | July 29, 2012, 04:28Vanessa,
[Insert Le Clown Is So Funny He Doesn't Need Emoticons Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 07:55You’re the social media guy, so I assume LOLs are not best practice as per Le Clown. As so it was written, so it shall be! I yield to no more smiley faces!
Posted by daddyranman | July 29, 2012, 06:40DaddyRanman,
[Insert Le Clown Knows Best Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 07:51Nice Gorey picture. Le Clown has great taste in the arts.
Posted by atothewr | July 29, 2012, 09:39Anthony,
[Insert Le Clown is Magnificent Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 12:53My 15 y/o daughter and I now use emoticons in our conversations: “Hey mom…can I go to the mall, smiley face?” or “MOM! I got all A’s on my report card! Colon D!!”
It’s actually fun, particularly when we wink, semi-colon closed parentheses.
Posted by uniqueweirdness | July 29, 2012, 10:36Unique Weirdness,
[Insert ............. Emoticon].
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 12:55where is the “like” button
Posted by Adam S | November 24, 2012, 00:03How do I get the emoticon that looks like Le Clown? Obviously something everyone needs.
Posted by nevercontrary | July 29, 2012, 20:29Never Contrary,
I need a great deal of lobbying for allowing Le Clown as an emoticon from the folks at Google. Bastards.
Le Clown
Posted by clownonfire | July 29, 2012, 22:23How could we make emoticons that resemble Le Clown? Seriously, I’d be into that!
Posted by travellingmo | July 29, 2012, 23:34I don’t lol, but I
and I’m not sorry. The internet doesn’t convey tone of voice, so sometimes 
and 
emphasize what you mean.
Posted by Shannon.Kennedy | July 30, 2012, 01:10Muahaha
Posted by Shannon.Kennedy | July 30, 2012, 01:11What’s an emoticon? LOL
Posted by kenthinksaloud | July 30, 2012, 15:05I would like to know your tricks for your emoticons… I need more. Specifically the laughing one. ♥
Posted by bipolarmuse | July 31, 2012, 15:39Ghoulishly Understood
lol
They do get over-used don’t they? VvvV Fangs
Androgoth
Posted by Androgoth | August 24, 2012, 22:15I’ve Liked your post. That’s cos I like it. Though I also use emoticons (within reason. Well, except when I use them without reason. Though usually I do use them within reason, it’s just not clear whose reason).
On this occasion I will refrain from using them. But not another occasion. (Oh how badly I want to put a winky, er, winking thingy here.)
Posted by Val | October 17, 2012, 11:38I used to feel this way. I used to think people who used emoticons were stupid. Learn to write, right?!
I also resisted acronyms back in the day. FTW, LOL, WBJ (White Baby Jesus)….but I gave in to the internet. I wouldn’t text people until about a year into having my first iphone.
But, I’m socially inept and a cute little happy face can go a long way to convey “I’m not trying to be an asshole even if I sound like one.” Like so:
You’ll come over to the dark side, eventually. Or the yellow-smiley-happy-goodness side.
I do back what you say about owning your words. Emoticons or not, I’ll stand by whatever I say (and if it has no business having a happy face beside it, worry not, it won’t).
Posted by amywestdotco | November 4, 2012, 20:50Amy,
You failed me. And let’s not speak about this ever again.
Le Clown
Posted by Le Clown | November 4, 2012, 20:51Le Clown,
I got a haircut today [Insert Chia Guy emoticon]
Posted by Adam S | November 24, 2012, 00:00Aha!
Just know that when I use “lol” I actually cracked up. I’m letting you take part in my (sometimes self-induced) giggles. Appreciate it, goddamnit.
Posted by TAE | February 25, 2013, 22:54