I’m about to hit the big 1-0-0!! At 107 years old, my blog will finally hit the 100 WordPress followers mark. I was just outside of our igloo, taking a pee in the hole in the ice, looking at the kids sleeping inside under the bear skin – which I personally wrestled and killed with my bare teeth 41 years ago when I was fighting, and conquered, tuberculosis with my eyes closed as it’s virtually impossible to keep them opened when you sneeze – when I pulled up my zipper – a Canadian invention, thank you – joined my family and told my wife: “This sentence is too long. I have to start a new paragraph”.
When I read what I had written, I thought: “I should end this post. I don’t think I can outdo myself after this display of sheer brilliant absurdity”. And then I thought: “But I want to let my readers know about Sweet Mother, Adrienne, and Dotty [Oxford comma]“. And I thought: “Other bloggers will think I have favo[u]rites… when I don’t… when I’m simply just in a Sweet Mother/Adrienne/Dotty phase, which is bound to pass.” And then I thought: “Enough with these thoughts”. Period.
Seriously. Thank you, almost-100-WordPress-readers. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for making me obsess over my stats. Thank you for your comments. Thank you for letting me discover you. Thank you for making me forget that I have kids, and that I am not just a father, but also a negligent father. Thank you for going over at Sweet Mother‘s, because she writes, furiously. Thank you for stopping by at Adrienne‘s, because she forced me to, and if I have to, you also have to. A-N-D…Dotty, thank you for being you ["Dotty is so your humour", said my wife out loud while editing this post].
And most of all, thank you, Sara, for writing the way you do. Without you, my ego would remain unbruised.
99 followers in French is le 99 followers. Merci.
Sweet Mother as The Dolphin, on my shoulders, sweet talking me.
I just followed you. What do I win? Better not be a subscription to Cat Fancy…already have that.
Posted by Rob Rubin | March 12, 2012, 08:06You just missed the contest of the decade, Rob.
You could have also been my 100th follower, but that also happened between the publication of this new post and your comment.
We do have some chores which need to be attended. Interested?
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:08And thanks for following me. Ill go and check out yours.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:08Thanks, but you should know that this is the FINAL week that I will be on WordPress.com. Next week, I’m releasing the new and improved Mainland 2.0 on my own (gulp) server. Twice the laughs. Twice the stupidity. And five times the annoying ads.
Posted by Rob Rubin | March 12, 2012, 08:13Ill go check you out thoroughly before you disappear from WordPress.
And good luck with your new and improved blog/site.
CoF
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:15Quatre vin dix-neuf? Félicitations! C’est meilleures que les miennes.
Posted by DeeDee | March 12, 2012, 08:16Merci DeeDee!
Et au plaisir de lire et relire ton blogue, mon amie.
CoF
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:17i’m annoyed that i don’t understand these two quotes — said by americans and me, in every country we visit
Posted by sweetmother | March 12, 2012, 11:11SM, they mean:
“Go and subscribe to A Clown on Fire. Now.”
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 11:34ahem. Quatre-vingt-dix-neuf.
Well. My French has certainly atrophied in the last few months…
Posted by DeeDee | March 12, 2012, 08:18You did just fine.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:19By the way, I love the Oxford comma. It makes me so happy to see others use it. Stupidly happy. But I’ll take that where I can get it!
Posted by DeeDee | March 12, 2012, 09:04oooOOoh. Mr. Big Shot fancy Pants. I will happily bask in your celebrity. Maybe I can get all your cast offs. Call me Mrs. Groupie.
Posted by saradraws | March 12, 2012, 08:19If you’re not with the kids…
Are they watching Kill Bill again?
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 08:21Nah, I follow your blog on its own merits. Keep it up! Too many good bloggers quit too soon to develop an audience.
Posted by DeeDee | March 12, 2012, 09:06You obsess over stats?? Who does that? hehehehe. Yea, I use to have a life away from my blog, but now the blog is my life… pretty sad it has boiled down to my laptop. ♥
Posted by bipolarmuse | March 12, 2012, 10:26It used to be about my kids first smile, and first haircut. Now it;s about how has commented or visited this blog.
My kids are also for sale.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 11:30!Felicitaciones en noventa y nueve!
Posted by The Uncle In The Attic | March 12, 2012, 10:47Danke, l’ami.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 11:32why, WHY does everyone love to use that screaming picture of me? lol. I swear i have taken a cute pic or two. oh well, that’s how i feel inside most of the time anyway, so what’s a woman to do??!! this darned thing (post) made me laugh out loud several times. so, thank you for writing it. and thank you for revealing my identity. now it is assured that lois lane will leave me and i have you to thank. so, zip up your pants, stop peeing french words into the snow, kiss your lovely wife, extract your children from the attic, and let’s all begin this again tomorrow. and wait, just, wait till you see what happens to your canadian, goateed, visage when i blogroll you. it may involve a halo and a maple leaf…i’m just saying.
Posted by sweetmother | March 12, 2012, 11:10You mean…. When I randomly selected a picture on the net, of this random woman, I got lucky and actually found a picture of you??
What are the odds…
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 11:33lloooooooolllll. damn you and your genius.
Posted by sweetmother | March 12, 2012, 12:37a 100 followers? holy damn! in what, four weeks? I’ve had my blog for about two years and I have the incredibly astounding following of 7!!!
Do I get a prize for the least following ever?
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | March 12, 2012, 14:21In four weeks, SSG!
The kids college funds are gone, but we’ll make the money back by adding other bloggers to my blogroll.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 15:25Congrats my friend. Your blog is THE awesome
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | March 12, 2012, 16:07Thanks, it’s a blast, although I wonder… How’s life on Facebook?
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 16:17Boring without you
Posted by SummerSolsticeGirl | March 13, 2012, 00:53I just love seeing my name in print. Such a rush!
Congratulations on hitting the century mark! And thank you for the plug. Let it be known to the comment readers, there was no forcing. Just me embarassingly begging and pleading to be included on his list of new blogs he’s enjoying.
Posted by Adrienne schmadrienne | March 12, 2012, 17:22I shouldn’t write this on my blog (it’s my catch phrase tonight), but I will.
I hesitated seriously between you and Sweet Mother for the dolphin picture.
I had the two versions ready until the very last minute.
When I did receive SM’s money transfer, there was no more hesitation.
Posted by clownonfire | March 12, 2012, 18:04