References upon request

It’s almost Spring, and for us Montrealers, it’s a rebirth: no more snow, less darkness, and the smell of thawing dog poop. People are happy[ier] in general and, in general, it’s a good time to explore other professional opportunities. It’s much easier to get hired during the rutting season [scientific fact, Google it, I dare you], and in Montreal, we rut like nowhere else in the world… I myself will try and capitalize on this warmer-weather-f*cking-anything-that-moves-inducing-state-of-mind and join the workforce, again. Now I’m not jobless. I work for myself. I’m a web and social media consultant. And I do well. But parts of me want to join the rat race again… I kid you not. I look forward to taking public transportation, being squeezed among the masses, comparing the different tones of winter pale on people’s face, listening to someone else’s playlist through their [turn your f*cking music down] earphones… I’ll be facing a few challenges, though:

. I have a problem with authorithy…
. I can’t shut the f*ck up when I think someone’s wrong…
. I think everyone’s an idiot…
. And I am a little unconventional…

This was taken at the XMAS office party, in 2009. I dressed up as Milton, a nerd (this was not a costume party). This is me with the company's CEO. I have used Zooey Deschanel's face simply to keep the CEO's identity private, and because I prefer being seen with Zooey. She's prettier.

I’m my own boss, see how this is a problem? I argue with myself constantly and think I’m a douche. I tell my wife what an idiot my boss is at night after supper when the kids are in bed, and wait for her to tell me differently…and wait…and wait… So I’d rather be taking cues from someone else, if it’s only to cut down on the self-deprecating [below the belt] comments. As for what I can offer as an employee…

As I mentioned, I’m a web and social media consultant, a pretty decent one. I’m not an expert, though. I used to think I was the hottest commodity in town, but old age brought me humility… that and working with some kick-ass strategists from this city’s web and ad/media agencies… Don’t get me wrong, I came up with brilliant marketing campaigns in the past [basking in the glory of the 2010 Movember campaign]. I shine brighter as a generalist and a strategist who holds the client’s hand while in the process of making an enlightened decision towards profitable web campaigns. That’s what I do best. And for those whose hands I have held in the past, I haven’t always washed mine as frequently as I should have.

This picture with Amber Mac was taken in 2011, during a social media conference, where Amber (we're on first name basis) quoted my work. I have added this picture for mere shameless name-dropping.

I was pretty sure after adding the Amber Mac picture that I was done with this post. I don’t read long posts myself, especially the self-indulgent ones like this one. There are offers coming my way… And some from big, large accounts, like popular cola giants. The beauty in getting older [there are some advantages, believe me young, hipster readers] is that you get to know what works for you, what fits. Sure, these long experienced years increase your cost, and you get more nostril hair as you get older, and some employers prefer hiring the cheap(er) and the pretty(er). But for the most part, when you accumulate 107 years of experience, you get to have a say on where your pay checks come from, and you earn the right to not sell your soul to the devil, unless it’s one crazy-ass paying gig.

And for the potential future employer who’s reading this and thinking why the f*ck would s/he ever hire this loudmouth strategist who has problems with authority… Give me a shout, and we’ll go for lunch. On you, of course.